This Man Confessed

‘Answer my question.’ he pushes.

‘No, I don’t.’

‘Good.’ He rounds me and clasps my shoulders, pushing me gently up the steps. ‘You’ll love it, trust me.’

‘Good morning!’ The perfect woman, who’s still standing perfectly in place, greets us, holding her arm out in a signal of where to go. It’s really not necessary. There are one of two ways, and I’m not going anywhere near the cockpit.

Peering inside, I notice just a few chairs, all massive, all leather, all reclining, and just two rows of them—one of each side of the jet. I’m directed to the middle, turned around and eased down into the soft plumpness. I keep quiet and resist the urge to bolt as Jesse secures my seatbelt and takes a seat opposite me. He immediately lifts my feet to his lap.

‘Champagne, sir?’ Perfect lady is back, and I spy her beaming at my God, but I’m too busy gathering my pathetic anxiousness to trample.

‘Just water.’ Jesse answers shortly, with no smile, no acknowledgment and no please. She beats a hasty retreat, and Jesse slips my ballet pumps from my feet, dropping them carelessly to the floor before getting comfy and repositioning my feet so they’re at a good angle for him to massage. ‘Okay?’ he asks.

‘Not really.’ I have no idea what has gotten into me. ‘There were regular flights available, weren’t there?’ I ask suspiciously, having a quick glimpse out of the under average size window.

‘I don’t know, I didn’t check. We don’t do commercial, Ava.’

‘You don’t. I do.’ I wiggle my toes. ‘I haven’t got swollen feet yet, you know.’

His thumbs are working delicious, firm circles into the instep of my feet. ‘Close your eyes and make yourself comfy, baby.’ he orders tenderly, and I do. My eyes slowly shut, and the last image I see is of my God lovingly massaging my feet, trying to ease me out of my unwarranted fit of nervousness.

I let my mind shut down and drift into a semi-conscious state of bliss. It’s not a difficult task to achieve when he’s touching me, even if it is just my feet. It’s the usual scenario of Jesse drawing all of my troubles out of me, whether it’s justified troubles, or completely trivial, unnecessary troubles, like a sudden fear of flying. My subliminal state only barely notes that regardless of trivial or justified troubles, Jesse is the maker.

And then my mind moseys through all things Jesse-ish–the lace, the calla lilies, the peanut butter, the scorns for swearing—and I mentally smile. All of the various degrees of Jesse style f**king’s, the temper, the playfulness, the gentleness. I might really be smiling now. The handcuffs, the lace gag, the crucifix, the rowing machine, the Ava éclair. My heart has sped up. The dirty blonde, the addictive, sludgy but bright eyes, the sculptured perfection, the one and two days’ worth of stubble. The way he flicks the collar up on his polo shirts, his various smiles—for women, for me, and now for my tummy, too. His fierceness, his protectiveness, his dominant ways. The way he walks and the way he tramples, and all of the ways in which he loves me, with unapologetic, raw adoration. The way I return that love.

I shift in my seat and in my subconscious, I hear his laugh. The soft, low one. Then I feel the wet warmness of his tongue on my toe. I smile, being snapped from all of my mental assessments of my beautiful husband. I open one eye, and I’m greeted by his smile, reserved only for me.

‘Dreaming?’ he asks, biting down on my little toe.

‘Of you.’ I sigh. ‘Tell me when we take off so I can put my head between my legs.

‘I’ll put my head between your legs.’ He sucks my toe, and I shudder.

‘Just tell me.’

‘Look out the window, baby.’

I frown and gaze out, expecting to find runways and planes, but instead, I find clouds. ‘Oh!’ My relaxed state falters, just for a split second, before I register no movement. There is hardly any sound, either. It’s really peaceful. I look to the side and see our waters placed on a highly polished table, and then I peek down the aisle and see the perfect woman pottering around at the other end of the jet. ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ I ask, settling back in my seat.

He kisses my toe. ‘And miss the sounds and looks you were making?’ He drops my foot. ‘Come here.’ I don’t stall for a second. I unclip my belt and virtually dive onto his lap, nestling my head under his chin and wrapping my arms around his neck. ‘Go back to sleep and dream of me, lady.’

He doesn’t need to ask twice. Our early start and long drive has taken it out of me, and I don’t want to be beat when we land wherever we’re landing. I still haven’t asked, but I don’t care. It’s going to be warm, sunny, and just me and Jesse.

* * *

I come to, still tucked into Jesse’s body. I can hear him quietly speaking, but it’s all muffled. A little groggy, I pull myself up a little and find the perfect woman hovering over us. ‘Welcome to Malaga, Mrs Ward.’ She blasts me with an insincere, part-of-the-job smile.

‘Thank you.’ I return her smile, although mine is weaker, but definitely more sincere. Malaga? Like Spain Malaga? Like near to Marbella Malaga?

‘My beautiful girl’s back.’ He kisses my cheek. ‘Enjoy your flight?’

I look at him through my fog of sleepiness and note a stubbled, hazy, smiling face, and a dishevelled mop of dark blonde. ‘Do I yank your hair in my sleep?’ I croak, reaching up to pat it down.

‘You do a lot in your sleep. I could watch you forever.’