Tirade (Heven and Hell #3)(41)
Author: Cambria Hebert

“I don’t know.” Gemma couldn’t look at him and her eyes dropped, shielding whatever she felt from Cole’s sight.

Cole laughed. It was bitter and incredulous. “You don’t know?” He spun away from her. I felt his disgust. He couldn’t stand to look at her. To look at the beautiful creature that he loved so much and have her dismiss everything he felt. Was he wrong, then? Did he imagine the way her gray eyes seemed to deepen when he was near? Did her heart not race whenever his hand brushed hers?

My brother was an open book, so he didn’t understand someone who was buried beneath lock and key. I thought about pulling back. This scene was so personal and private; it felt wrong to watch it. But I couldn’t; I was caught in his emotions and he desperately wanted to know how she felt. I desperately wanted to know too.

“What do you know?” he asked, keeping his back to her, staring at the bed. It was a large bed, queen sized, and it was far more inviting than any guy bed I had ever seen (which wasn’t any other than Sam’s) with its navy blue down comforter and neon yellow throw blanket.

Behind him, Gemma didn’t say anything.

“I’ll tell you what I know,” he said quietly. Frustration welled inside him and he actually wished he didn’t love her. Loving her was too hard. Abruptly he spun. Gemma’s head snapped up and she stared at him. “You’re miserable. You think you have to be alone because it’s easier than caring. You act like you’re forced to live the way you do, but you aren’t. You act as if I’m nothing to you, and maybe I’m not, but you can’t seem to walk away.”

“Cole.” A glimmer of tears shone in her eyes and turned her face soft. Everything about her seemed to soften from the way her flushed lips parted to the long strands of coffee-colored hair that fell over her shoulder and brushed her cheek.

Cole lunged forward and grabbed fistfuls of her hair, tangling his fingers deep into the silky mass and groaned. “What do you want? What?”

She didn’t answer because he kissed her. Fiercely, bravely, deeply. His lips devoured hers in a way that staked a claim, yet pushed her away. Violent passion slammed through him and he groaned in his throat. I felt the sound rip right out of him. One part of him was so thrilled to be finally kissing her. Her lips were just what he thought they would be: soft, warm and giving. Why couldn’t the rest of her be as giving as her lips? She tasted faintly of apples, sweet and tart. He smiled against her mouth. He like the comparison because it was exactly who she was.

He pushed his tongue past her lips, not caring if it offended her. This might be the only time that he would taste her and he wanted to satisfy his thirst. To his surprise, her lips parted under his assault and his tongue danced with hers as he tried to gentle himself. He actually began to recite football plays in his head, but they didn’t make sense so he gave up and began kissing her with renewed force. When he was afraid he had pushed her too far, he pulled back, only to take her lower lip in his teeth and pull out, sucking it into his mouth and tasting her anew.

He was holding her so tightly his arms strained and he broke the kiss. His chest heaved as it pushed against hers. He could feel her shake against him, but all he could think about was doing it again. He wanted to kiss her until there was nothing between them but skin and then he wanted to kiss her some more.

She had to love him. She wouldn’t have been able to kiss him like that, to make him feel like this if she didn’t. He dropped his forehead onto hers and ran his fingers through the soft length of her hair. “Tell me,” he said, his voice hoarse and low.

Somewhere in the house, a door slammed. Cole closed his eyes but tightened his grip on her. This wasn’t over.

“Tell me,” he demanded again.

“Cole?” his mother yelled from somewhere in the house.

Gemma began to pull away.

“Is it him?” Cole asked. “Is there something with Riley?”

She stopped on her way out the window. Her long hair fluttered from the breeze. “No, definitely not. But even if there had been something with Riley, you would have erased it from my soul with that kiss.”

“Gemma.” Cole half groaned.

The door handle turned and he watched as the door opened soundlessly and his mother peeked inside. “Didn’t you hear me calling?”

Cole looked back at the window, knowing already that she was gone.

But he would see her again. And she would tell him.

I pulled out of his mind with a gasp and sat up, careful not to touch him, afraid that I would slip back in. That was intense. I had no idea that the feelings between my brother and Gemma burned so deeply. It almost matched what I had with Sam. It probably would if she didn’t fight it so much.

“Heven?” Cole asked. He was staring at me warily.

“Sorry. What?”

“Did you hear anything I just said?”

“No.” I stuck my tongue out, trying to moisten my dry lips.

“Are you okay?” He reached out and I flinched away.

“Don’t touch me.”

“Why?”

“Because of what I’ll do to you.”

“To me?”

I nodded. “I didn’t hear everything you said because I saw it.”

He looked at me like I was crazy. I probably was. “Explain.”

So I did. I told him about how I accidently slid into Sam’s mind and how I found out where Riley was. I told him that when I laid my head on his shoulder I saw everything that happened between him and Gemma. When I was done, I waited for him to yell at me. To tell me I was horrible for stealing his private moments and thoughts.

He didn’t say anything like that.

“Do you think she loves me?” he asked instead.

I drew back in shock. “What?”

“You saw what happened. You felt what I felt. Do you think she loves me?”

“Aren’t you mad?”

He shrugged. “No.”

“Why?”

He seemed taken aback by this, like it never occurred to him to be mad. “Because you’re my sister?”

I laughed. “You just want my opinion.”

He shrugged. “I’m a good kisser, huh?”

“Ewww. You’re my brother.”

“Do you think she liked it?”

I remembered the insecurity and doubt that Gemma made him feel. I didn’t like to think he felt that way. “Yes. I think she liked it. I think she loves you.”

He grinned.

“But I’m not sure if she’s going to admit it to herself.”