To Hate Adam Connor

“Aiden, come give me a hug,” I said.

His head jerked to me and his face lit up. “I get to stay?”

“You get to stay. Just this time.”

He came running. “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.”

“I love you, buddy. Be nice, okay?”

“I love you, Daddy. You can go.”

With that he let go of me, turned his back, and grabbed Lucy’s hand, pulling her away from me.

When she looked at me over her shoulder with a smile stretching on her lips…for a moment I thought she looked beautiful.

***

When you have a kid, everything changes. Your social life, work life, even the dynamics of your family shift. There was a time where I used to go without sleep for days on end to get in the shots we needed, but lately, especially after the divorce, I had to plan everything around Aiden. Make him my priority. Be a better dad. Be fucking everywhere. Be fucking everything.

It took me seven hours to wrap everything up at the studio. Our director, Matthew, wanted me to stay for another ten hours so we could shoot some of the night scenes I had left with Jamie Wilson, but because of Aiden’s situation, I had them reschedule everything. The last thing I wanted was for him to spend the night in a strange home.

“I’m really sorry about this. I’m sure you guys had other plans today,” I said as I walked through the door and into the hallway of Jason’s home.

“It’s okay, man. Olive and I just got in a few hours ago. Your little guy was already tuckered out.”

“He fell asleep?”

“Woke up when he heard us come in—or more like when he heard Olive’s voice—but he fell asleep again a little while ago.”

We walked into the open living area and my eyes were searching for Aiden as I noticed Olive come in from the backyard. She hugged Jason’s waist as she greeted me. “Hi, Adam.”

“Hi. I hope Aiden didn’t cause too much trouble.”

“Oh, he didn’t. We’re practically in love with each other. I might even consider letting this one go if he doesn’t up his game soon,” she said with a genuine smile as she patted Jason’s chest.

Jason put his arm around her shoulders and drew her closer. “I’m gonna have to keep my eyes on your son, Adam. With the way he is flirting with Olive, I don’t think I have a fighting chance otherwise.”

I laughed and winked at Olive. “It’s good to know he has good taste in women.”

She blushed a little and looked up at Jason with a big smile. Jason groaned and shook his head in return. “You can head out back; he is outside with Lucy. I think I’ll keep my wife away from you Connors for today.”

How long had it been since Adeline looked at me the way Olive was looking at Jason? Years? When had everything changed to the point where she was barely looking at me at all? With those unwelcome thoughts, I stepped outside to find my son sleeping on a chaise lounge, arms and legs wide open, peeking out from under a soft nude-colored blanket.

Frowning, I looked around. Hadn’t Jason said Lucy was with him? I heard a faint voice coming from nearby, so I followed it to the side of the house.

“I told you I was staying with Olive, Catherine. No. Well, then I told your voice mail I was staying with Olive. No. How could I have known you wanted to do something for my graduation? You’re right, I’m sorry.”

The tone of her voice and the way her shoulders slumped forward were in such contrast to the woman I’d seen thus far that it made me stop in my tracks. Clearly it was a private phone call, and I wanted to give her privacy. I should’ve, but as far as I was concerned, turnabout was fair play. Instead of leaving, I leaned against the nearest tree and listened in on her side of the conversation.

“I’m actually helping Olive, Catherine. I didn’t say that. I know. I know.” She started pacing, and if she’d turned her head just a little she would’ve noticed me, but the night cloaked my presence. “That’s the problem. I don’t think I want to be an accountant. Yes, I’m aware of that, but the only reason I chose that major is because you wanted me to. I remember quite clearly the day you said you’d stop paying my tuition if I even thought about changing it. Yes, I know.”

She stopped, and I held my breath.

“I’m sorry for all the trouble I caused you, Catherine, but I was just five years old when she left me with you. I had no say in the matter. I never did. I wish you could be proud of me.” A long pause. “I understand.”

She twisted her body and thanks to the moonlight, I was able to see her face more clearly. She was so fucking beautiful, even more so in the soft moonlight. Unfortunately, she was also a spirited lunatic—a beautiful one, sure, but still a lunatic. She tucked her short hair behind her ears and closed her eyes.

For a brief moment, I wondered how her skin would feel under my fingertips. Would her lips be soft? Would she smile at me like I’d seen her smile at my son? I remembered the day I found her in my backyard, dripping wet and fuming. If I was honest, I’d liked the feel of her body against mine, her breathing hard, eyes murderous. For a fraction of a second, I’d thought she was as hot as hell. If I’d met her on the street, in a coffee shop, or even on set, I wouldn’t have minded fucking her brains out. Shaking my head, I got rid of those unwelcome thoughts. She was the last person I’d ever consider being with. I wasn’t suicidal. There were millions of beautiful women out there.

“Sorry I turned out to be just like my mother, Catherine,” she said after another long pause. “Olive wants me to be her agent, but I’m still going to look for a job. Okay. Okay maybe I’ll go and talk to the firm you mentioned.”

A few seconds later she ended the call and rested her forehead against the side of the house. While I was okay with intruding since she’d done the exact same to me, somehow this didn’t feel right. Even so, I couldn’t walk away. I crossed my arms and waited for her to notice me silently watching.

To my surprise, it didn’t take her long to shake off the effects the phone call had had on her; as soon as she spotted me, her game face was on again—and by game face I mean the little dragon was ready to spit fire.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, coming toward me.

“Are you going to keep asking the same question every time you see me?”

“If you’re somewhere you’re not supposed to be, yes, I think I will.”

“You actually enjoy this, don’t you?”

“What?”

“Making people miserable,” I explained. “Since you’re so good at it, I’m assuming I’m not the only victim.”

She kept her calculating eyes on me for a beat, then I watched her walk past me without a second look. “Everyone loves me, thank you very much.”

I had to laugh at that. She turned her head to look at me and her frown deepened. “Instead of sneaking up on me, you should’ve stayed with your son.”

“He is sleeping,” I reminded her. “Not to mention, once he is out, nothing can wake him up until he is ready to wake up. Should I remind you that you’re the one who left him alone?”

“I left him with Olive, and no matter what you say, he could wake up and walk right into the pool. You should take better care of him.”

I moved from my spot and caught up with her before she could make it to the opening where Aiden was sleeping. I grabbed her arm and spun her to face me.