To Hate Adam Connor

“What’s wrong?” I asked and the guy turned his attention to me. I tried to give him my best smile.

“Ma’am, we need to clear the area so the…”

He was still talking, but I completely tuned him out. Ma’am?

Are you frickin’ kidding me?

Are you frickin’ kidding me?!

Olive pulled me by my arm toward the entrance of the building. “Did you hear that?” I asked her in a loud voice as I kept looking over my shoulder. “He freaking ma’amed me! Did you hear him? Did you hear what he said?”

“I did,” she replied, laughing under her breath.

“Don’t laugh! This isn’t funny, Olive! This is all because of him,” I hissed. “He did this!”

“Who are you talking about? Jameson?”

“What?” I looked at her and shook my head. “No. It’s Adam Connor. He is bad luck. Whenever he is around, something bad happens. I hate him.”

“Here we go again…”

***

The movie was amazing. I had been the first one to read the book when Olive finished her manuscript, and sitting in a movie theater watching it all come alive was something I’d never forget. When it was over, I stood up and hugged my best friend, and we cried again. Then we laughed. Jason kissed Olive on her forehead, and I cried some more. And then we made it to the after party where there was music and hot guys and more celebrities. Surely one of them would have a killer dick, right?

I didn’t even get to look for my killer dick.

Soon after we made it to the industrial loft where the after party was being held, I got a text message from Jameson.

I was too scared to read it straight away.

Even though I tried my best to act like he had never existed around Olive, sometimes he would pop into my head out of nowhere and disrupt my day. This was the first time he’d actually contacted me after his departure.

Dropping my phone back into my purse, I broke away from Olive and Jason, leaving them chatting with a group of people, and found myself a dark corner so I could close my eyes and slow down my heartbeat.

Isn’t it the worst thing when your ex gets in touch with you when you’re starting to move on with your life? Isn’t it so inconsiderate of them?

I leaned my back against the brick wall and imagined myself on an empty road. I ignored the music roaring to life and quieted my mind. A sunny day, a gentle wind. A breath of fresh air. I forced myself to imagine Jameson standing at the end of the road. I still had feelings for him. Just a little more than a month before, I had thought he was mine, that I was different from my family. That my ending would be different than theirs. And I’d wanted that for myself. I’d wanted that for myself because Jameson had showed me it was possible, that it was okay to want that.

Standing in the middle of that imaginary road, I turned my back to Jameson and took one step after another. I left him behind.

I opened my eyes and I was back at the after party. I wanted to find Olive and have her read the text, but I thought better of it. This was her night. She would be angry at me for not telling her, but I’d make it up to her.

I took a much needed breath and unlocked my phone.

Jameson: I miss you, Lucy.

I could’ve easily smashed the phone on his head if he were somewhere reachable, but fortunately for him, he wasn’t. Who the hell sends ‘I miss you’ to someone they’ve dumped? And why the hell would they write it anyway? If it was to torture, then mission accomplished.

My hand shaking, I dropped the phone back into my purse and walked toward the open bar.

When I had two tequila shots in me, I found Olive and, with Jason’s help, convinced her to go on stage with me so we could get out a few songs with the band the studio had hired for the night. It took a lot of begging, but as soon as we started our signature song “Let’s Marvin Gaye”, the song Jason admitted had made him start falling in love with her, she relaxed and managed to forget about the audience, which consisted of a lot of celebrities and other industry people. As always, we sang to each other, not to them, and we danced ourselves silly, having the best time. After another tequila shot, provided by Jason Thorn, I sweet-talked Olive into singing “Lovefool” by The Cardigans. It wasn’t a surprise that Jason couldn’t help himself and kissed her silly on stage. Again.

It was the best interruption.

And I was finally forgetting about Jameson. Again. Kinda.

Olive and Jason by my side, I talked to a lot of people. I smiled, laughed. Even Jameson couldn’t ruin such an important night.

***

A few hours later—or maybe just an hour—I found myself getting pawed by some guy as I left the bathroom after splashing some water to my face. Was I drunk? Maybe a little. I blinked a few times and tried to remember where I was.

Olive’s after party.

I had left their side to use the restroom.

Right.

“Hey,” I mumbled, trying to push his shoulders back.

The mysterious guy licked my neck, and I shivered.

Shit.

That kinda felt nice.

Did I know him? Had he even given me his name before assaulting me with his tongue? For the life of me, I couldn’t remember. As he was busy lavishing attention on my neck, I squinted and looked around—at least as much as I could in the dark. I was backed against a high wall in a narrow hallway, next to the unisex restrooms. I remembered chatting with a group of people with Jason and Olive, but I couldn’t remember if this guy had been in that group. He wore a dark gray button-up and from what I could tell, he was built like a brick house.

He really knew what he was doing with his mouth too, but I wanted to put a face to that tongue, so I tried to push him back again. “Umm, hi,” I repeated when pushing didn’t work out quite that well. Instead of answering me or even acknowledging me, the guy’s hands tightened around my waist, and he pulled me toward a small alcove.

“Whoa,” I mumbled, my head spinning. His back hit something with a thud, then he spun me and this time it was my back that hit the steel door, knocking the air out of me. I winced, but he didn’t seem to notice.

“Hey! Ease off,” I said, slurring only a little.

“Shhh. I’ll make it okay,” the guy whispered into my ear, rubbing my shoulders. Then suddenly his hands started traveling downward, his hands squeezing my flesh.

“What…what are you doing?” I lifted my knee to shove him off, but my dress hit me right below my knees, so it was a useless attempt. I might as well have been moving under water. I raised my voice. “I said get off me!”

Suddenly there was a hand gripping my cheeks and pushing the back of my head against the door. I was having trouble breathing.

“I said shhh,” he whispered into my ear and bit on my earlobe.

If he wasn’t hurting me to the point that I was sure his fingers would leave their mark on my face, it would’ve been sexy.

Or maybe not.

But he was hurting me, and I’d made it perfectly clear I wasn’t into what he was doing.

One of his hands found the edge of my dress and started hiking it up. “I said stop,” I yelled as much as I could with his fingers pressing into my cheeks. The low bass of the music was drowning my voice anyway.

He bit on my neck and his lips found mine.

I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to turn my face away from his grip.

“I love it when girls like you play hard to get. I’m always up for a challenge.”