To Hate Adam Connor

I looked at the road then back at her. “We’re almost there, Lucy.”

“You’re not hearing me. Either take me home or unlock the doors so I can find my own way.”

I gave her a long look, studied every little expression on her face. The way her lips were pressing together, the way she was trying her hardest not to blink too many times. That little vein that popped up on the side of her forehead when she was angry, frustrated, or anxious. I didn’t like the fact that I knew about that vein.

I shouldn’t have noticed it.

I should’ve ignored it.

As our wills battled, she lifted her chin ever so slightly and ordered me to unlock the doors.

When I didn’t, she started pushing all the buttons, trying to find the right one.

“Okay. Fine.” I reached for her hand and touched her, curling my hand over her cold one. When she didn’t punch me, I placed it back on her thigh. “We’re going home. I’ll take you home.”

The rest of the ride was…long. Long and quiet and painful. The city was surprisingly quiet that night. I still kept my hand on hers, hoping she’d warm soon enough and stop shaking. The fact that she didn’t push me away…

I stopped the car in front of Jason’s gate and hesitated before I unlocked the doors.

Lucy waited with her hand on the handle, ready to flee.

“Is there anything I can do?” I asked into the heavy silence.

“I’d like to get out now.”

I could understand that. I unlocked the doors and watched her shimmy down from the car. Before she shut the door, she mumbled a thank you and walked away.

How could a night out go so wrong?

I waited for her to get inside. Just to make sure, I told myself, nothing more. Instead of entering the code for the gate, she hiked her dress up a little and sat her ass down at the curb.

What I should’ve done was look away and go home. She’d call her friend, get the code, and go wait in the backyard or do whatever the hell she wanted to do. She had been nothing but trouble since the day I’d found her dripping wet in my backyard. She was the last thing my life needed. Quite aware of all that, I turned the engine off to go and join her on the curb.

Neither one of us spoke for a few minutes as we sat next to each other. It was a chilly night, barely any clouds in the dark sky.

“Let’s go home and put some ice on that hand,” I said, tiredly.

She sounded equally tired, if not more, when she said, “I don’t have a home.”

“Tonight you do.”

***

I woke up to the sound of laughter ringing through the house. A woman’s laughter and a kid’s—my kid’s, to be more specific. But Aiden was supposed to be with Adeline; it was her weekend. Had she brought him back? Frowning, I got up to find out what was going on.

The night before had ended abruptly after I’d helped Lucy ice her hand. One second I was holding her fragile hand in my palm, getting used to its weight in my hand as we stood almost nose to nose, and the next she was scrambling away from me. The moment she could, she’d fled to her room. Knowing there was nothing more I could do, I’d gone to bed, too, but I couldn’t fall sleep. Apart from worrying about what I was going to do about Adeline, I’d worried about Lucy too because she’d managed to work her way into my life somehow.

Getting out of bed, I had spent some time in the kitchen, thinking maybe she’d join me. I’d seen the light coming from under her door, so I knew she was having trouble sleeping too.

She hadn’t come out, so after a while I’d gone back to bed, and I thought it was for the best.

I made it to the living room and spotted Dan watching Lucy and Aiden with a fleeting smile on his face.

Aiden and Lucy? They were laughing uncontrollably, completely oblivious to their surroundings.

They didn’t even notice me walking up to Dan. “What’s going on here?” I asked.

His lips quirked up even more and to hide it he took a sip from the coffee cup he had in his hand. “They are practicing their laughter. Lucy thought Aiden’s needed a little more kick.”

“Is that so?”

“Yup.” He gave me a quick glance. “He was feeling sorry for himself, so she said she wasn’t feeling all that great either and thought it was the perfect time to practice how to laugh better.”

I smiled. That sounded exactly like something Lucy would do.

“And what’s Aiden doing here?”

“The little bugger tricked me.”

I didn’t have time to ask how he’d been tricked because Aiden finally noticed me and jumped off the couch, running toward me.

“Daddy!”

“Got you,” I grunted, lifting him up in my arms.

“I missed you like crazy. You missed me too?” he asked into my neck, his thin arms holding on tight. I hugged him even tighter and dropped a kiss on his head.

“I missed you too, little man. What are you doing here?”

His head came out of my neck, and he held my face between his hands.

“Checking on things. You haven’t shaved?”

I laughed. “What things are you checking on exactly?”

“You.”

“Me?”

“I don’t like you being all alone here. I think about it so much that sometimes I can’t sleep at night. I know you miss me, so I came to check on things. Since I worry about you so much, maybe I shouldn’t leave you alone here?”

“I thought you said you forgot to take your favorite book with you and that was why we came here, little guy,” Dan said, grabbing Aiden’s attention.

As he was weaving more tales to Dan, I glanced at Lucy, who was off the couch and watching us quietly. I tried to figure out her mood, but she was good at not giving away too much. She still had a smile on her face, but other than that, I couldn’t even begin to guess what she was thinking.

“And then I said to myself, Dan is protecting Daddy, so he’d want to check things out too.” Aiden was still talking.

“Oh, so that’s what you said to yourself.”

“Uh-huh. I knew you wouldn’t say it because you’re a big guy and big guys don’t worry, so I said it for you. And now that Lucy lives here, we have to protect them both.” He put his hand on my cheek again and turned my face so I’d look at him. “You wanted to see me too, right? Tell Dan I did good.”

“You didn’t do good, Aiden,” I corrected him, trying to keep a straight face. “You can’t lie to have your own way.”

“But I didn’t lie. I came to check on things!”

Dan’s phone pinged with a new message.

“Okay, little liar, your mom texted. Grab your things, we need to go.”

“But, Dan, we need to—”

“You don’t need to do anything, buddy,” I said, interrupting him. “You don’t want to worry your mom, do you?”

His face fell. “No, but—”

“No buts, Aiden. You can’t lie to Dan, okay?”

“Am I in big trouble, Daddy?” He averted his eyes and his hand started to draw shapes on my skin, a new nervous habit he’d picked up.

“Not this time.”

He lifted his eyes and smiled a brilliant, wide smile. “You’re happy I came to check on things, aren’t you? You aren’t angry with me.”

I smiled back at him. “I’m always happy to see you, buddy.”