To Hate Adam Connor

I gave him another glance and found him waiting for me to continue. “So we’re cursed. And Catherine…well, she took care of me when my mom left, but like I said, she is very controlling and difficult. To everyone looking in from the outside, it looks like she is an angel for taking me in, but that’s not how it was. She wanted me to be a version of her. Nothing I did was right. There was only her way and when you didn’t follow her rules or do what she wanted you to do, she knew how to throw everything she ever did for you in your face. I don’t think she is mentally stable, actually, but she did take care of me instead of kicking me to the curb, so I do owe her, I guess.”

There was a moment of silence.

“Cursed?” he repeated my earlier statement. “Is that why you said you don’t do love the other day?”

“I said that?”

He nodded.

Me and my big mouth.

And he remembered?

“Huh…I don’t remember saying that to you, but yes. I don’t want to end up being a bitter woman like them. And it doesn’t look like we have any luck with love as a family, does it? So why force it? I’d rather be single and happy than fall in love with someone, pop out a kid…and then have him cheat on me or leave me when things get rough only to go and marry some other chick.” I shook my head and hugged my knees. “The women in our family don’t get marriage proposals. So, no, thank you. I’m much happier when I watch other people fall in love, makes me happier without all the heartache.”

“You’ve never fallen in love with someone?” he asked, as if that was the most ridiculous thing he’d ever heard.

“I didn’t judge you for wanting a normal life, now, did I?”

He leaned forward and put his elbows on his thighs, dangling those sexy forearms in front of me as his eyes pierced my own. “I wasn’t judging you, Lucy.”

Why did I have to get all flustered when he was looking at me like that? I reached for the water bottle and took another sip to pass time. “Well, it sounded like you did.” I gave a small shrug. “Anyway, with a woman like Catherine, I needed the escape. When I was in bed at night, I used to close my eyes and imagine being somewhere else.” I gave him a quick glance. “I didn’t imagine a different life, or someone coming to my rescue, but I enjoy closing my eyes and going somewhere far away. It calms me. Or sometimes I imagine I’m a waterfall, or the wind, or the sun. Essentially, by dreaming, I created my own sunshine for the days I needed it. It was my escape. I know it makes me sound like a crazy person, but it helps me calm down, so fuck you if you think I’m crazy.”

He let out a loud laugh, and I slowly got up from my seat. See, I had plenty of reasons to hate him. I knew it made me sound like a crazy person, I knew it, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt to see him laughing at me. I gently threw the water bottle on his couch and headed for the glass doors. Maybe Olive would let me cuddle up to her for a while. I was feeling a little sick after all. She wouldn’t be so cruel as to turn me down.

Before I could open the doors and step outside, Adam caught me by my wrist again—I swear the guy had a fetish of some sort. I looked back at him over my shoulder and tried to shrug him off, along with the tingles his closeness and touch were sending down my spine. I wasn’t angry or anything, just tired and, well, yeah, maybe a little hurt. “I’m glad to be your amusement for the night, but I think it’s time for me to leave.”

“Don’t,” he said, his thumb gently moving over the sensitive skin on my wrist. My brows drew together, and I looked down at where he was touching me, but his finger had already stopped moving, as if it’d never happened. “I wasn’t laughing at you, Lucy,” he said in a soft tone, and my head jerked up. We were standing a bit too close. He must’ve come to the same conclusion because he let me go and backed off.

I didn’t sway toward him at all. Not me.

He put a hand on the small of my back, and geez he had big hands—all the better to hold me with, I guess—and gave me a gentle push back toward the couch.

I sat on the edge and watched him grab his phone from nearby.

“Let me call Dan and see what the holdup is.” He glanced up at me from his phone and added, “You’ve waited this long, he’ll be sad if he hears he missed you.”

He looked genuine, so I decided to stay. “Fine.” I scooted back into my seat and grabbed a pillow to hug.

Dan didn’t pick up, and I could see the frustration in Adam’s face. Pacing in front of me, he tried another number. When that didn’t work either, he let out a long sigh and rubbed the back of his neck.

“I don’t like this,” he said finally, his hands working on his phone.

“Did you try your ex?”

“She isn’t answering. Neither is Dan. Adeline might be on set, but Aiden was supposed to be at home with his nanny.”

“Maybe they’re on their way?” I suggested, a little worry creeping into my voice.

“They must be,” he mumbled, putting away his phone. “I’ll give them a little more time. Sometimes Aiden takes a lot of time to get ready.”

We sat in tense silence as we listened to the soft murmurings of Frank Sinatra. The longer there was no little human running through the front door, the more anger seemed to emanate from Adam. The more I stayed, the more I felt like I was intruding on another family moment, which was a weird feeling after I’d already intruded on them on multiple occasions.

“So, what are those?” I asked, motioning toward the papers when I couldn’t take the silence any longer.

“New scripts.”

“Come on, I’m sure you can give me more than that.”

He glanced back at the front door once again, then turned around to reach for the papers. “New offer. I have a contract with the studio and I owe them one more movie. They sent over two scripts for me to choose from, but I’m not so sure about either of them.”

“Can I see?” I held out my hand and waited.

“This is one of those things you can’t mention anywhere else, Lucy.”

I rolled my eyes and wiggled my fingers. “Give it to me.”

He handed them over, reluctantly. I had better things to do than go around and spread rumors about the new movie Adam Connor would star in.

“How’s the agent thing going?” he asked as I looked through the first script.

I answered him without lifting my eyes from the pages in my hands. “I’m almost there. I narrowed it down to two publishers, and I’m waiting to hear back from them. I also pursued other deals—audiobook, etc. What’s this one about?”

He scooted until he was sitting very, I repeat, very close to me. I willed my heartbeat to slow down, because what the hell, heart? What’s wrong with you? We’re not supposed to like the guy, remember? No need to do cartwheels just because he is within touching distance.

His arm brushed my shoulder when he took the script from my hands, and I happened to inhale at the very same moment. What a coincidence, right?

I took a deep breath and felt a tingle on my arm where his skin had made contact with mine. First of all, stupid skin and stupid tingle. Second, he smelled like whiskey and something warm, wild, and deliciously masculine. It was the perfect invitation to nuzzle his neck and get lost in his scent and body…which was a very, very bad idea. I closed my eyes to ignore him, but that only intensified his scent and how close he was sitting to me. He smelled good enough to attack right then and there. If it had been someone else, I wouldn’t have even thought twice before I did exactly that, but with Adam, I forced myself to stay still.