Toxic (Ruin #2)(24)
Author: Rachel Van Dyken

I slowly made my way back into the rec room. Most of the patients were watching a movie.

Not Princess.

She was positioned right next to the window, and it was open.

“Shit!” I ran across the room and pulled the window closed. “What the hell were you thinking?”

Saylor blinked innocently. “She said she missed the outside.”

“Are you stupid?” I roared. “She can’t go outside! If she goes outside she could die!”

“But—”

“Just go away. You’ve done enough.”

“Gabe, I—”

“Go!” I yelled so loud my throat hurt.

Saylor took a step back, then two, then turned for the door and ran.

“You shouldn’t yell, Parker,” Princess said in a quiet voice.

“Yeah, well… she shouldn’t make me yell.”

Princess’s face lit up. “The air feels nice.”

“About that…” Here went nothing. “They’re going to have to put some air inside you. You’d like that, right? Since you miss outside so much?”

Her face pinched. “Will it hurt?”

“Nah, it will feel like a kiss.”

“I miss your kiss.” Her voice sounded almost normal, like if I closed my eyes it would all be some crazy nightmare and she’d be whole again. In my arms, I’d kiss her lips, I’d tell her I loved her, we’d laugh, make love, and everything would be fine.

“Parker.” The high pitched voice was back. “Open your eyes, silly. No sleeping.”

“Right.” My voice wavered. “No sleeping.”

Truth? It had been four years since I’d slept peacefully. Four years since I could look at myself in the mirror and not feel hate.

Now? I didn’t even bother looking. Not unless I had to. I knew what my reflection looked like. Pain. Sorrow. Guilt. But worst of all? Fake. My reflection was fake.

I wheeled Princess back to her room and dialed Wes’s number.

“Yeah?”

“I’m ready.”

“For?”

“The talk.”

“Ah, man, can’t someone else explain how babies are made?”

“Cute.”

“You’re smiling.”

“Shut up.”

He sighed. “So talk.”

“Meet me at the campus Starbucks.”

“Alone or with Kiersten?”

“Better bring her. I’m going to need both of you if I have any hope of staying alive… Kiersten would kill me, we both know this.”

“See you in ten.”

Chapter Seventeen

Everyone wears masks. They come in all different shapes and sizes. The only problem with trying one on — is that it fits. How easily we fall into the trap that we don’t have to be who we really are. How easily we convince ourselves that we need to cover up what we were born to be. It’s a tragedy — that fear keeps us from our destiny. It’s hell — when the person you were created to be — is covered up by some cheap imposter —Wes M.

Gabe

I walked into the coffee shop like I was marching to my death. I knew Wes knew. I wondered what was worse. Him knowing and me not telling? Or me actually telling him the entire truth and having him look at me with that look. Epic disappointment in my character.

I hated that damn look. It’s the same look her mom gave me that day in the hospital. The same look my dad gave me when I gave up my shit career and moved to Seattle.

Pity? I hated it. But someone judging my character? Someone finally discovering I wasn’t even close to who I said I was. Well, hell. I wasn’t sure I was ready for that convo with Wes. He was the closest thing to family I had and now I was throwing a giant-assed wrench in our friendship.

The bell to the door gave a little jingle as I opened it and stepped in. Wes was in the corner. Kiersten was sitting right next to him, snuggled to his side. They didn’t see me, and maybe it was better that way.

It would have been nice.

To have a girlfriend. A normal life. To go to a coffee shop and wrap my arm around her shoulders when she got cold, to pull that scarf snug around her neck and kiss her cheek.

Kimmy had loved Seattle — was obsessed with it actually. She’d always had this weird fascination with rain. Swear, I kissed her in the rain so many times, I even started to like it. That’s what movies to do chicks. They make them bat shit crazy, but I didn’t care, because it was her. And I would do anything — anything for her.

I clenched my fist at my side and took a few shaky steps toward the corner table. Shit, I was borderline hyperventilating by the time I made it to my chair.

Tired. I was so damn tired of it all.

“Hey.” Wes’s voice was gentle, caring, understanding. Holy shit, I wanted to punch his perfect face. “Um, Kiersten, why don’t you grab Gabe some coffee. I think he needs it.”

“Sure.” She gave me a sympathetic look then left.

“Don’t tell Kiersten,” Wes blurted, surprising the hell out of, well, probably both of us if the look of shock on his face was any indication.

“What?”

“Don’t tell her.” Wes leaned forward. “She was with me, otherwise, I wouldn’t have had her come.”

“But—” My mind was reeling. “She’s your fiancée. You guys tell each other everything. It’s fine, I need to get this out, it’s—”

“—it’s not about her knowing,” Wes interrupted and pulled his phone out. “It’s about it affecting her safety. She’s already bombarded with reporters and fans thirty times a day because of me. What do you think’s going to happen when she knows about this? She’s going to want to be there for you, by your side, I’ll have to freaking pry her from your clutches — and your father…” Wes sighed, “Man, there are things you should know.”

“Wait.” I snorted without humor, hating that he knew more than I thought he did “Wasn’t this my time to blurt my feelings and seek your wisdom?”

“Too late.” His eyes darted away from the table then closed. “Look, I know you’re pissed…”

“Pissed?” I laughed. “Try betrayed, but hey, it’s cool as long as Kiersten’s safe, right?”

“Gabe—”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Would you rather I call you Parker?” He glared. “Or how about Ashton? Is that what you want? Everyone to know? If Kimmy—”