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Toxic

Toxic (Ruin #2)(35)
Author: Rachel Van Dyken

“Do you need me to come?”

“No.” Martha let out the mother of all heavy sighs. “Just come on your normal day, and I’ll let you know if we see him again. He may still be hanging around, so just—be careful. And, Gabe?”

“Yeah?” My voice was hollow.

“Do you know who he is?”

“My dad.” I licked my lips. “And he’s finally figured it out.”

I ended the call and made my way toward the door. She’d heard me say something about my dad, but I knew I’d been far enough away that she didn’t hear anything that Martha had said. My secrets remained safe. For now.

“Is everything okay?” Saylor asked.

I couldn’t even look at her — didn’t want to see the disappointment in her face when I rejected her.

“Sure, um, look I have to go take care of something. Why don’t you keep practicing a bit longer and I’ll see you later, okay?”

“Gabe…”

“Yeah?” I had the door halfway open. So close.

“Why won’t you look at me?”

Steeling my resolve, I forced a happy go lucky smile and turned, giving her a sly wink. “Sorry, just lost in thoughts, you should probably practice another hour or so. No worries, everything’s fine.”

Her eyes scanned my face. “Is telling the truth so hard, Gabe?”

My smile fell. “You have no idea.”

I pulled the door shut behind me and made my way down the hall. It was time to ask for Wes’s help — because someone in my family had finally told my dad about Princess.

Meaning. My time — really was up.

I took time to memorize the way the building smelled — I’d miss it. The way the architecture of UW was old yet managed to still feel new and exciting.

The salty smell of the ocean.

The mist hanging in the air.

My past had caught up to me — and I had to run.

For both our sakes.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

I wondered if there would ever come a day when Gabe would finally be free enough to be himself — the person he was born to be, not mask number one or smile number two. I wondered if he even knew how lost he really was — or if he was happy making the maze his home, the mask his identity, his life a lie. —Saylor

Saylor

“So, how are things going for you at the Home?” Lisa asked, taking a large bite out of her pizza and smacking her lips together. We’d been working at the Home for well over three weeks. “I’ve been doing some really cool art projects with everyone, but other than that it’s been pretty uneventful.” Lisa sighed heavily and took another large bite out of her pizza.

Just with her mention of the Home — my body went hot all over, because I associated the Home with Gabe, and when I thought of Gabe, I thought of kissing.

It had been two days since my kiss with Gabe.

And yes, I was counting. Because that was also two days during which I hadn’t heard one word from him. It wasn’t like I could go to the Home and see if he was there; that’s something called stalking and it’s illegal. I even thought about lying and saying I left my cell phone, but with my luck he’d see right through it and know just how pathetic I really was.

And how much I wanted him to kiss me again.

I wasn’t sure if that’s how it would always be with Gabe. Either we were arguing or kissing. Regardless, I recognized something. Being with Gabe was like going to a zoo and watching the lions stalk in front of the windows of their cage. Give them their freedom and they’ll devour you, but as long as they keep themselves contained — keep everything in check — they’re safe.

Gabe was only as safe as he allowed himself to be.

And that was both alarming and enticing all at once.

Then again, scary things always were. Scary and beautiful were always interchangeable in my mind. Maybe it was because of the music.

“Whoa, lost ya there for a minute,” Lisa joked. “So, things at the Home? That boring? Or is it just my charming personality?”

“Sorry.” I felt my face heat, and I picked up a piece of pizza. It tasted like sand in my mouth, but whatever. “It’s been great. I mean, at first it was kind of uncomfortable, but now I love it.”

Lisa smiled happily. I’d always wondered why she didn’t have a boyfriend. She was one of those girls that, if you didn’t know them really well, you would assume was stuck up and rude. But she was the exact opposite.

“Good, I’m having fun too. Then again, I’m reading them stories, not teaching them how to play music, but we can’t all be that talented.”

I laughed and set my pizza down. “Well, we only have what? Six more weeks to go?”

She groaned. “Don’t remind me. Mr. Miller keeps hitting on me. I finally took away his walker and said I’d only kiss him if he could walk the two feet to meet me.”

“Oh no!” I started laughing hysterically. “Did he even try?”

“Yes,” she grumbled. “The dirty old bastard walked all the way up to me, then kissed me on the cheek and took his walker back.”

I laughed harder.

She threw a piece of pepperoni at my face.

“Anyway, the residents are pretty cool.” She shrugged.

This was my chance. To ask about Gabe or at least find out more details about Princess. I cleared my throat and began. “That girl, you know… the one in the wheelchair?”

“Which one?” She suddenly found great interest in picking the toppings off her piece.

“The one they call Princess.”

Her hand hovered over the pizza. “Yeah.”

“Her and Gabe… they seem really close.”

She sighed and gave me a helpless shrug. “Gabe’s like that with everyone.”

I felt my face fall. Was that what he was doing with me? Was I just like Princess? Was he just helping me because he wanted me to feel good about myself? About my music? Maybe that’s why he hadn’t called. I was… just like Princess… a charity case?

“No!” Lisa put down her pizza and held out her hands. “Not like that, I mean… No, no, no, you’re different.”

Yeah, the last thing I needed was to look desperate enough to try to pry details out of his cousin. “It’s fine. Let’s not talk about him.”

“Who?” The door opened and Wes’s head poked around. “Who are we not talking about?”

“Gabe,” Lisa answered honestly while I smacked her on the arm.

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