Toxic (Ruin #2)(47)
Author: Rachel Van Dyken

“And if it does?”

“Then at least I still jumped.”

My breath caught in my throat, my body responded to his words as if he’d physically picked me up and twirled me around the room and kissed me senseless.

“Alright, everyone, take your seats.” I clapped my hands four times.

They followed. Princess shouted. Normal. Everything felt normal.

“We’ve been at this over four weeks.” I looked around the room. “Last time we met, we worked on our own songs. Does anyone want to share?”

A few people volunteered. Each of them trying hard to sing the notes they’d colored on their papers. Even Princess shouted the notes Gabe had colored for her.

“Anyone else?” I looked around the room, most everyone was distracted by his or her own worksheet, looking at each other’s, whispering.

“I want to go,” Gabe’s voice pierced the air.

“Oh yes, Park!” Princess shouted. “Play a song! Play your song!”

Gabe’s smile was for her and only her as he bent over and kissed her forehead. I would have never recognized her. But it was Kimmy. Kimmy Paige. Eighteen-year-old starlet. I really honestly thought she’d died. She’d been in a coma for so long, the media had lost interest.

“Parker!” Princess shouted, excitement evident in her twinkling eyes as her gaze followed him to the piano bench.

The songs he sang. They were hers. Ashton had been famous for it. He would write love songs for her then upload them to YouTube. One time, he’d even filmed himself singing her to sleep.

Was it any wonder women everywhere about killed themselves when he disappeared?

Gabe sat at the piano looking like he’d been born there. His hands hovered over the keys. “A new song. For new beginnings.” He lifted his eyes just slightly and met my gaze. And then he began to play.

Transfixed, I watched him while he played — his eyes never left mine.

“How could I let a love go — one I’d been holding onto for so long — one that felt like home? It’s not easy to let go of the pieces, even though they’re the reason for my pain. I gripped them so hard that my blood fell like rain. But nothing, nothing could have prepared me for a new life with you — one I didn’t deserve, one I want to pursue.” He leaned over the piano, closing his eyes, as the music dipped. The song was both beautiful and haunting, his body was one with the piano, and in turn I felt like I was the piano. Like he was playing me, every stroke of the keys was him kissing my skin.

“If beauty is pain — let me get lost in it. If you’re my salvation — I want to earn it. If love is all I have to give — then let me give it. You. It’s all for you.”

Gabe’s eyes opened and locked in on mine.

“How can I prove that what I feel is real? You ask for truth I give you lies. You ask for joy I make you cry. But I don’t want to lose you. Not like this. Not when I’ve left your heart in such a mess. Give me one chance — I’m letting go of the past — but I need you here to know.”

“If beauty is pain — let me get lost in it. If you’re my salvation — I want to earn it. If love is all I have to give — then let me give it. You, it’s all for you.” He paused, hitting the last few notes, and the song ended.

Gabe’s smile lit up the room.

But I was frozen in place.

Me. He’d sung that to me.

I wiped a stray tear from my eye as Gabe approached me yet again. Was the man trying to kill me? I mean, there was only so much a girl could take.

His eyebrows drew together as he reached out and touched my wet cheek.

“It’s okay.” I whispered. “You earned it.”

“I want more songs!” Princess shouted breaking our moment.

I’d forgotten there were people all around us. Feeling my face heat, I sighed and walked back to the front of the room. “Alright, today we’re going to work on adding to the songs we created last time. Use four different notes and I want you to add a chorus.”

I walked from table to table helping.

When I reached Princess and Gabe, she was sleeping, which was weird to say the least. She never slept. I was beginning to think tired wasn’t even a word in her vocabulary. Then again, recently, she’d been mentioning it more and more.

“Is she okay?” I asked, my eyebrows drawing together in concern.

Gabe looked up from his chair and sighed, shoulders hunched he said quietly, “The infection is getting worse.”

I pulled a chair next to him and sat, without realizing I’d done it. I grabbed his hand and squeezed. “She’s strong. It will be okay.”

“Yeah.” He squeezed back and smiled. “It really will.”

Chapter Forty-One

Watching your best friend smile when he looks in the mirror? No words. Just. None. —Wes M.

Gabe

“Wear the dark jeans.”

“Do you mind?” I snapped.

Wes held up his hands. “All I’m saying is they hug your ass and if you’re still tiptoeing around Saylor, it couldn’t hurt.”

“Remind me again why you’re here?”

“Best friend.” Wes pointed at himself and smirked. “Besides, it was either me or Lisa, and we both know how she is when people go on dates.”

“Good point,” I grumbled.

Lisa and Kiersten were spending the evening together. Kiersten wanted answers, and Lisa owed her some. Besides, it wasn’t my truth to tell, not by a long shot and I had my own demons to face — no chance in hell was I going to try to tackle all things Lisa as well.

I sighed. It seemed like we all needed our own night of truth. Yay. Hold me back while I pump my fist into the air and dance a little jig.

I’d met with my father earlier that morning before I went to the Home. His demand was simple.

Go with him to the media.

Or he’d expose me, as well as Lisa and Princess.

I told him to go to hell.

His way meant I had no control — my way meant that at least in the end I could control how everyone found out. The only issue was that Princess had no idea and was going to have to blindly trust me. And Lisa? Well, her family had always known where she was.

Because unlike me, she wasn’t hiding from her family or from the media, not really.

She was hiding from Him.

With Wes’s support I called every freaking news station in the area offering them the story. Let them fight over the exclusive — in the end it would be my choice.