Toxic (Ruin #2)(55)
Author: Rachel Van Dyken

“Yeah.” Wes rubbed his face with his hands. “Her body isn’t responding. It’s like she’s…”

“Princess?” I let go of Saylor’s hand and walked toward the bed. Her eyes flickered open.

She smiled and said my name fogging up the oxygen mask.

“You look like you’ve seen better days.” I smiled and sat on the bed.

She nodded.

“You feeling better?”

Nothing. No nod. Nothing. The light in her eyes died a bit, and then she started coughing out of control. I held the mask in place and helped her as best I could. By the time she was done coughing, a wheezing took the place of her breathing, making it sound like she was choking.

I turned around to see Saylor and Wes were gone.

Martha’s eyes were sad. “I think…” She placed her hand on her chest. “Gabe, I think it’s time to call hospice.”

“What?” I stood. “Do you think it’s that bad?”

“The infection is worse.” Martha sighed heavily. “I’ve seen healthy individuals die from this type of infection, not to mention she’s already in a weakened state. I just think it would be wise to call them. In the end, it’s your call. And hospice doesn’t necessarily mean the end. People come off hospice all the time.”

Then why did it feel like I was sentencing her to death?

“I need to think about it,” I answered honestly.

“I figured.” Martha smiled. “Just let me know once you decide.”

She left me alone with Princess.

Her form was so frail. Funny, I never really said Kimmy in my head anymore. To me she was simply Princess. Kimmy — the girl I had known — was gone. But she had left me with a gift in the form of a princess.

A princess sent from heaven.

I took her hand in mine, then kissed it. “You’re beautiful, you know that?”

Her eyes welled with tears.

“To me,” I whispered, my lips grazing her hand, “you will always be the most beautiful thing I have ever had the pleasure of laying my eyes on.”

A single tear spilled over and rolled down Princess’s face.

“You really are a princess, you know that? Like the ones from the stories I read you. So, I have one question, my little Princess. Will you let the prince rescue you? Can I take you on my horse to my castle? Can I fight for you, even when you won’t fight for yourself? Will you let me love you, even when you’re sick and broken? Will you let me keep the vow I made to you all those years ago?”

Her eyes fluttered shut.

“Gabe?” Wes’s voice sounded from the hallway. “More reporters just came. I know this is a lot to take in one day, but the sooner you break your silence, the better it will be. Trust me.”

“Right.” I swallowed the tears thickening around my throat and reached into my pocket. “Do me a favor?”

“Anything.” Wes walked into the room.

I handed him the card. “Call him and set up the interview. We can do it here at the Home. I just… I need to get it over with.”

Wes took the card. “Done.”

“Where’s Saylor?”

Wes’s eyes were sad as he answered. “She wanted to give you guys some privacy. Martha said coffee was the best way to start a morning, so yeah, she left. She’ll be back though.”

My eyes never left his. “That’s what I’m afraid of.”

“Let her,” Wes commanded, his voice firm. “Let her be that person for you. She knows what she’s getting into, and she’s still here. That’s saying something.”

“I have nothing to give her.” Clenching my hands into fists, I tried not to cringe as I recognized the unmistakable sound of desperation in my voice.

“Who said you had to give her anything?” Wes answered and walked out of the room.

Chapter Forty-Six

You know you’re in love with someone when the idea of them being in love with someone else doesn’t just wreck you, it invades every part of your being. Yet, how could I be upset that Gabe loved her? When his love for her was one of the very reasons I loved him? —Saylor

Saylor

The coffee was bitter.

It didn’t help.

I took a seat on the cold metal chair and tapped my nails against the coffee mug. An hour went by, and finally someone walked into the tiny hospitality room.

“Found you.” Lisa winked then plopped down next to me. “So are we wallowing or are we just… thinking?”

I smiled. “A little bit of both.”

“He loves you.” Lisa’s eyes didn’t meet mine. “For what it’s worth, I’ve known Ashton all my life, and he loves you, loves you something fierce.” She covered my hand with hers, “You may be sharing him for now, but considering the circumstances, I can’t imagine a better person to be sharing him with. And that’s the truth. Kimmy… she would have loved you.”

For some reason that made me want to cry. “What was she like?”

“Talented.” Lisa removed her hand. “Loud.” Laughing, she rose and grabbed her own cup of coffee. “I looked up to her so much. It’s funny, even though she and Ashton had something special, they never left me out, even though I was two years younger and ridiculously naïve.”

“Freshman?” Everything sort of clicked. “You just started school though.”

Lisa’s face darkened. “Yeah, well, I didn’t go to school right away. I mean, it was my idea to help Ashton escape everything, but I didn’t follow him right away. I um, I stayed in LA for a bit.”

“And stopped modeling?” I asked. “What happened?”

“I think,” she said, taking a seat, “that we’ve had enough sad stories for one day.” Her smile returned. “I just wanted to let you know — just in case you were having doubts — he needs you.”

“Thank you.” The room fell silent.

“I overheard them talking about hospice,” Lisa mumbled. “I hope that doesn’t mean what I think it does.”

“It does.” Another voice chimed in. Kiersten walked into the room, looking about as crappy as I felt, and sat at the table. “I just talked with Wes. The infection’s getting worse, not better. I just… I don’t know. I wish there was something we could do.” Her eyes met mine. “When Wes went through his surgery and everything, at least he knew we were present, you know? He was able to talk with us, cry with us.” Her voice wavered. “But Kimmy? Or Princess? She’s hurt and doesn’t know why. All she knows is Gabe’s sad and she can’t figure out why. You know? I just wish we could give her happiness.”