Tragic

I look over at Spencer, hoping I'm not overstepping my boundaries, and he smiles at me, still breathing heavy from the fight.

Antoine doesn't move, Ronin just stares at me, and Elise is the only one with enough sense to speak. "I'll get the papers."

"Rook, I think you need to wait on that, we can talk about this tomorrow."

"No, Ronin. I don't need to discuss anything with you. I got all the details from Spencer and I'm signing that contract tonight." Because, I don't add, I'll be damned if I'm gonna get stuck here with an ass**le who has pushed me down to the ground twice in the past f**king week while he was angry at another guy.

Elise calls me into the office while the guys just stand around staring at me like idiots, so I walk off, then close the door behind me once I get inside.

"Sit," Elise says.

I do.

"Now, what happened? Last night you and Ronin were practically screwing each other in the rain, and today you disappear with Spencer and come back pissed off. What's going on?"

"It's got nothing to do with Spencer, if that's what you're after. I'm just not sure I need a guy in my life, and to be honest, Elise, you're the one who warned me to stay away from Ronin. So I should be asking you the same question." I snatch the papers out of her hand, grab a pen off the desk and start skimming the stipulations. The contract looks like the last one so I assume it's standard and initial and sign in all the designated places.

I throw it down on the desk and take a deep breath and say in my most polite voice, "I'll move out as soon as I get paid for the TRAGIC contract. Can you give me an approximate time frame for that?"

She just sits on the corner of the desk frowning at me for a few seconds. "We have three more shoots to do, you can do them all tomorrow and we'll give you half. Then the other half once the final contract is delivered. But it will be a long day of non-stop work, Rook, and it's not the sweet kind either."

"I'll be fine. What time should I report?"

"Six AM."

I don't even nod this time, I'm just ready to be alone. So I spin on my heel and leave, walk past the men who stop arguing mid-sentence as soon as I emerge from the office, and head straight to my apartment. I set my phone to five AM so I can wash the crack whore off me before Elise and Josie can turn around and make me up as a meth fiend.

I'd forgotten all about the paint job Spencer did on my back yesterday, and I can't quite reach it to scrub it off in the tub. It doesn't help that I have to hold that damn shower head the whole time either, so I just leave it alone. I sigh, because I'm pretty sure this will piss everyone off if this is a naked day. I try to look at it in the mirror, and I can see that it's a dark bird that might be a rook or a raven, but it also has lettering down at the bottom, near the small of my back, and that is way too little to read backwards.

Well, what can I do?

Nothing, that's what.

When I walk out on the terrace it's still slightly dark, but all the lights inside the studio are on. I go inside and Elise, already busy with that tiny blonde girl, points to the dressing room and says, "See Ronin first."

Wonderful, he's the last person I want to see.

I walk into the dressing room and it's busy and filled with girls. All half-naked, all lining up at Dr. Ronin's scale to be weighed.

The bile comes up in my throat, that's how sick it makes me to think about this weighing-in stuff. And it's not because I'm worried about gaining weight. I might gain some, I might lose some, but I have a natural size to me and this is it. I'm not a fluctuator. It makes me sick because I can't stand the fact that he gets to invade me like this. It feels so…

"Get in line, Rook," Ronin says as I begin to wander off toward a bench that is not yet claimed.

I do what I'm told. I'm weak. There are only two girls ahead of me so it goes fast. I step on the scale without looking at Ronin.

He lets out a small laugh.

"What?" I ask.

"You gained two pounds." He laughs again.

"And you find that funny?" I ask, the irritation with him building.

"No, not funny. Just satisfying."

"Ugh! Where are my clothes?"

He points to a bag hanging from the rack with my name on it and then whispers, "Don't get too comfortable in the clothes, though—it's TRAGIC, remember? Most of this day will be spent wearing nothing. And you better get used to it, Blackbird, because the entire STURGIS contract is nothing but full-body nudes."

I admit, this does make me uncomfortable, but then I remember the beautiful paint on all those nude girls in Spencer's book and relax a little about my decision. Besides, it's done. I signed the contract, it can't be undone without a huge production. And that's not something I'm interested in making.

I step off the scale and look around, not sure what to do next.

"Why are you doing this, Rook?"

"Doing what?" I ask, not looking at him.

"Taking another contract. It's clear that the shoot yesterday set you off, so why do more when you don't have to?"

I turn and meet his questioning gaze. "I do have to. I already told you, Ronin, I want to be independent and take care of myself. This," I say, waving my hand at the naked girls in the dressing room, "is a job that pays me money. And nothing more."

"So why disappear yesterday?"

"I did not disappear, I was with Spencer the entire time. Now, if you could just tell me what to do so I can finish this job and get the hell out of the garden apartment, I'd really appreciate it."