Until I Break(50)
Author: M. Leighton

His comment stings, but I let it roll off me. Tonight, I can’t afford to let anything steal my focus. I have to do this, not only for Alec, but for me. I need to find a way to deal with my past, whether it mends things between us or not. I can’t live with this fear for the rest of my life.

I clench and unclench my fingers a couple of times to relax them before I make my move and reach for Alec’s hand. Slowly, with my eyes still on his, I slide my fingers over his palm. He grips my fingers and pushes away from the bar. He narrows his eyes on me, suspicious but intrigued, setting fire to my stomach. I smile at him and tip my head behind me, toward the steps, a silent indication for him to follow.

Still holding his hand, I turn toward the wide, curved staircase. Slowly and with great purpose, I mount each step, tugging Alec along behind me. With my every movement, I’m hyper aware of the clothing beneath my dress, of the fingers lying lightly in mine, of the man trailing along behind me. I remind myself that I trust him and that he’s worth this. And that I need it, and maybe he does, too.

I press on.

At the top of the stairs, I turn to the right, toward the room my things are in. All my senses are on high alert, but I’m not as nervous as I would’ve been had I not downed a couple of drinks before Alec arrived. I’m far from drunk, but it did manage to take the edge off.

I twist the knob and push open the door, stopping just outside it so Alec can look in. I’m sure he has an inkling of what I’m up to, but I want to give him the full effect.

Nearly every surface is covered in lit candles, giving the room a soft, dreamy feel that’s incongruous with the kinky paraphernalia scattered about. I watch Alec’s face as he scans the area, making note of several items before glancing back at me.

He says nothing, just arches that one brow. It’s almost like he’s daring me.

My stomach flips over. I tug on his hand, pulling him further into the room and closing the door behind him. I reach up to remove his domino. And then I remove mine.

“You promised you’d help me. And I’m not cured yet,” I explain as I reach for his tie, loosening the knot.

“Is that right?”

I nod, releasing the first button on his shirt and then letting my hands trail down his flat stomach to coyly graze the bulge behind his zipper.

I throw off every “Samantha” insecurity and embrace the brazen Laura Drake in me. I trade soft for sexy, docile for daring, fearful for fearless.

I cup him boldly, leaning in to whisper in his ear, “Now’s your chance to show me.” I nip his lobe, hard enough to feel it all the way in my stomach. There’s something intoxicating about being this way, about burying Samantha and all her issues for a little while and just feeling, exploring. Risking.

“Show you what,” he asks, his arm winding around my waist to pull me closer.

I lean back to look into his face. “Everything.”

Alec’s hand moves up my back and into my loose hair. I feel his fingers curl into a fist. “Are you sure you want to do this? Are you sure you’re ready?”

I cup his face in my hands and drag my tongue along his lower lip before I suck it into my mouth. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

Alec’s hand tugs on my head, roughly angling it for his mouth. When it descends on mine, I taste his hunger. I taste the ravenous beast I’m attempting to unleash. And while there is excitement and anticipation and desire like nothing I’ve ever known, still, there is a dash of fear sprinkled among the rest. But Alec needs this. And so do I. It’s for those reasons that I continue.

I plant my hands against Alec’s chest and push with all my might. He lets me go, his breathing ragged and his eyes dark with wicked, feral passion.

I back away from him, reaching behind me to unzip my dress as I go. I pull the sleeves off my shoulders and let the garment fall to my waist, revealing the black gossamer teddy beneath.

Alec’s eyes travel to my length and back again, stopping to focus on my ni**les. I feel them harden, ready for what’s to come. I know he can see them perfectly through the sheer material. It’s not meant to leave much to the imagination.

I stop and wiggle my hips, letting the material of my dress fall to a heap on the floor around my black high heels. I stand straight and tall before him, knowing that he can see every curve and valley and shadow, even in the pale candlelight. And he can see the delicate zippers that give him access to various body parts, all his for the quick flick of his fingers. But I’m sure he knows that. I found this among the items he ordered from Ursula. I was appalled at first. Now I’m excited.

Carefully stepping out of the puddle of my dress, I walk to the bed and climb onto it, standing with my legs spread and my hair teasing my shoulders. Alec’s eyes are like hot coals on me, burning every surface they touch, setting my world on fire.

Slowly, I reach down and take the zipper tabs that begin at my navel and I pull down and out, at an angle toward my hips. When the zippers stop, I tug and a large piece of sheer material falls away from my lower abdomen and crotch, leaving me bare from waist to groin. With a flourish I fling it to the side and drop to my knees on the bed, reaching to my left and right to take the ends of two black silk scarves tied to the bed. I wind them around my wrists.

“Show me,” I repeat, my eyes trained on his.

Alec hesitates only for a second. I’m not sure why, whether it’s the fact that I’m challenging him, or the thought that I might end up freaking out. Whatever the cause, it lasts only for a split second. I know the instant he gives in. I see it the moment that the wild side takes over.

Walking slowly toward me, further loosening his tie and pulling it from around his neck, Alec puts one knee on the bed and reaches for my legs, jerking me roughly toward him. Twisting one hand in my hair, he yanks my head back and crushes his lips against mine, his tongue invading my mouth, demanding more of me than I’ve ever before given.

I’m breathless when he releases me. His eyes are steady on me as he reaches out to unwind the scarves from my wrists and bring my hands together in front of me. With three quick turns, he binds them together with his tie.

“Lie back,” he orders.

I pull my legs from beneath me and relax onto my back. I’m surprised when Alec walks around the bed and unties one of the black scarves. He kneels on the bed and drapes it over my eyes.

“Lift.” Obediently, I lift my head so he can make a knot in the material. My mouth is bone dry and my pulse is flying like a runaway train. I can see shadows and shapes through the thin scarf, but nothing clearly enough to make me feel comfortable.