Until I Break(54)
Author: M. Leighton

“We’re here to settle this.”

One brow shoots up. Another stab to my heart.

“And what’s ‘this’?”

“Us. Or what used to be ‘us.’”

He nods. When he says nothing, I take a deep breath and begin my spiel.

“I’ve done everything I can to make you happy, Alec. I’ve asked you a thousand times to talk to me, to tell me what’s wrong. And you won’t. I—”

“It’s not that I won’t. I simply have nothing to say.”

“That might actually be worse. It’s like you just…disappeared.” I feel my resolve break. Tears fill my eyes. “Alec, what happened? Things were going so well and you just…left.”

“I told you from the beginning—”

“I know, I know,” I interrupt with a snap. “You warned me. It’s my fault for not listening. But you have to at least be honest enough to admit that something happened. Even if you won’t tell me what it was.”

I see the muscle in his jaw begin to tick. “I’ve been nothing but honest with you. I’ve never misled you.”

“No, I’ve done this all on my own. I’ve been in this all by myself from the beginning, is that it? Is that what you’re going with?”

“I’m not ‘going with’ anything. It’s the truth. I was up front about what I wanted, what you could expect.”

“And you got it all, didn’t you? You got it all and I got the broken heart, just like you promised.”

I try to keep my voice low and reasonable, but it gets harder and harder with every second I spend in his cool indifference.

“I didn’t come here to fight.”

I take a step toward him, my fingers balled into tight fists. “Then why? Why did you come here?”

Alec’s lips thin. I can see his anger rising.

“Not for this, I can assure you.”

“Oh, I see. You thought you’d sneak in a quickie before you just changed your address. Nice.”

This is not at all how I pictured things going, but my bitterness is overflowing and there’s nothing I can do to stop it.

Alec straightens. “If this is the way it’s going to be, maybe I should just leave you in peace.”

“It’s too late for that, you bastard,” I force through gritted teeth.

As if something foreign and uncontrollable and…violent overtakes me, I launch myself across the room, hurling my fists at Alec, lashing out in the only way that has any promise of making me feel like I’m not going to explode and then die.

I get in a couple of good licks before he grabs my wrists and twists my arms behind my back, yanking up on them. I cry out in pain, but it doesn’t stop me from using my legs. I try to kick at Alec, but he’s already a step ahead. He has my body pulled in so tightly to his that I can’t make any real headway, can’t do any real damage.

“Does this make you feel better?” he hisses. I struggle against him, shaking my head and shoulders to try and free myself. Alec loops the long fingers of one hand around my wrists, holding them easily in his grip. With his free hand, he grabs my chin and forces me to look at him. “Answer me. Would it make you feel better to hurt me? Is that what you want?”

“Stop it!” I growl, turning my head to escape his grasp. But he has a good grip and he’s not letting go.

“Answer me,” he barks. “Do you want to hurt me?”

“Alec…”

“Answer!”

“Yes,” I spit in a moment of brutal honesty.

His eyes narrow on me. His voice is steady. And quiet. And deadly. “Then do it. Hurt me.” He jerks me against him, his fingers biting into my flesh. “Hurt me!”

Alec crushes his lips to mine, fire and fury in his kiss, before he releases my hands, flinging me away from him and propelling me toward the bed.

I stumble back, temporarily caught off guard. Alec moves purposefully forward, stalking me. There’s rage in his eyes.

I wanted his emotion. Now I have it. He’s not cold and indifferent anymore. He’s irate.

“Come on,” he taunts me. “Hurt me. I want you to.”

I back toward the bed and Alec keeps coming, loosening his tie and peeling off his jacket as he walks.

When he stops in front of me, he reaches out and twists his fingers into the neck of my dress, yanking as hard as he can and tearing it straight down the center.

“Hurt me, damn you! I deserve it!”

Winding his arm around my waist, Alec bends his face to my neck, roughly dragging his lips down to my collar bone and the top of my breast.

Everything I’ve felt for Alec—from overwhelming attraction, to fear, to love, to devastating heart break—bubbles to the surface. Like a flame to dry tumbleweed, I’m instantly incinerated.

I thread my fingers into his hair, pulling his head to one side while I plunder the inside of his mouth with my tongue. His hands push their way into my ripped bodice and tear it the rest of the way down the middle, exposing me to his touch.

I feel his fingers slide under the elastic of my panties and jerk. The thin material gives way easily. I drag my hands from his hair and pull mercilessly at the buttons of his shirt, not caring when I feel them pop off and pepper my chest like tiny plastic bullets. They can do no more damage than what Alec already has. I barely feel them.

Reaching down between my legs, Alec thrusts one finger, then two, then three deep inside me, bringing me up onto my toes. I see the hunger in his eyes before my head falls back on my shoulders and my moan escapes.

Roughly, he pushes me away from him, flinging me onto the bed and falling on top of me. His mouth devours me, his body inflames me, his hands torture me.

And I want it all.

I want all he has to give.

When he enters me, it’s not with ease or patience or practiced skill. It’s with anger. And emotion. And raw need.

I can feel it in his touch, hear it in his growl.

I open my eyes and look at Alec. Although he’s with me, maybe more with me than he’s ever been with me, at the same time, he’s not. He’s completely out of control. It’s alien to him and I can see that it both enrages and terrifies him, but he’s helpless against it now. He’s come too far.

As he moves within me, our fingers grasping desperately at one another, both of us flying toward the sun at Mach Ten, one thought penetrates the haze of my passion. One thought settles over me with perfect clarity.

There is fear, yes. But deep in my soul, I know Alec will never be that out of control again. And maybe he needs to know that, too. Maybe he needs to trust himself. Like I trust him.