Vain
Kate burst into tears, getting up and retreating to her rooms. “Kate!” Karina called, standing to chase after her but Kate shook her head and Karina sat back down.
“We need action then,” Ian said, taking charge and making me incredibly proud of him. “We arm ourselves. Get the locals to help us take shifts.” The table got quiet. “What?” he asked, tension rolling off of him in waves..
“We’ve already asked them,” Karina said, her eyes never leaving her bread.
“And they’ve refused?” Ian asked in disbelief.
“You can’t really blame them,” Karina tried to explain.
“The hell I can’t!” Ian exclaimed. “We would do it for them. We have done it for them!”
“They have families, Din. They can’t risk it.”
Ian’s neck and ears grew red with frustration. “Then we leave,” he said.
“Where?” Mercy asked.
“Anywhere,” he answered.
“We have no where to put the children, Din,” Karina said, looking as exasperated as her voice conveyed.
“What are you suggesting?” Ian asked, his brows furrowed.
“That we stay right where we are and keep watch. Charles seems to think we can do it on our own.”
“Charles,” Ian said, turning toward him, “you know that is foolhardy. We can’t risk it.”
“Where would we go?” he asked in return.
“Somewhere. Anywhere but here.”
“How far south does the property line go?” I asked.
“Just south of Lake Nyaguo,” Charles answered, “but it’s of no importance because we have no way of building camps, no way of caring for the children once we’re there.”
I breathed deeply. Here we go. “I-I need to tell you all something,” I confessed.
“What is it?” Karina asked, tucking a loose strand of hair from my braid behind my ear.
“I had planned on surprising you all next week but I’ve arranged for a group in America to come here and build you a new kitchen house, install a new generator, do the odd repair and create a concrete court for the children to play on as well as a play area. It was supposed to be for Christmas but I can see it’s a blessing in disguise. What say you, if we have them build the new construction on the south side of Nyaguo instead? Nyaguo would be north of us and it would provide protection, we’d only have to worry about our East, West, and South borders.”
“Our borders,” she said, her eyes glassy with unshed tears. “Our borders.”
“Our borders,” Ian said, repeating her and smiling my direction.
“Our borders,” Charles said, his hand landing on mine.
Realization dawned on me. “Yes, our borders.”
“Thank you so much, Sophie,” Karina said, covering my only uncovered hand with her own. “You’ve given our hopeless situation hope.”
“You’re thanking me?” I asked, flabbergasted. “No,” I told them all, choking back a sob. “I need to thank you. You saved me.” I smiled at each of them in return. “It was just my turn to return the favor.”
Ian kissed at my door that night sweetly. We all had a plan and there was hope. The next day, we all decided we would begin preparations to move the children. I’d called Pembrook and told him our new plan and he promised to get the men together earlier with new plans of creating an entirely new compound.
We all decided that when the unexpected came, sometimes new arrangements could become that much more extraordinary.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
But with the new extraordinary you still had the unexpected...
That morning, we all woke anew, with a mission. We informed the children of their Christmas present, a new place to live. Many felt uneasy about the potential move but we assuaged any fears, letting them know it would be safer and that they would have a playground and that seemed to liven them up enough to get them excited.
With that, we went about packing rooms in preparation. Our plan was to set up temporary camps within the new territory. Pembrook had somehow arranged for military CHU’s or Container Housing Units to be dropped off within three days which would allow us to house and care for the children during the weeks of new construction. I didn’t want to know how much that was costing my father and I hoped he didn’t either.
By the time the CHU’s had arrived, we were prepared to transport. Most of the children’s things were packed and ready to go as well. There had been no additional sign that the LRA was near or nearing. We were confident and happy.
The night before we were set to transfer everyone and everything, Ian and I were making our way to the CHU’s, twenty minutes south of the then current Masego. We just needed to make a quick pit stop a mile outside the gates to gather one of the missing cattle and mend a broken fence.
“She’s a stubborn jerk,” I said, pushing the cow toward the damaged fence.
Finally, the old girl hopped it and moved as quickly as a heifer could move toward her meandering comrades.
Ian and I dropped to the ground right next to the fence and laughed, out of breath from pushing the cantankerous bovine. The lights from our jeep lit us from behind, bathing us in an ethereal glow. He leaned into me, wrapping his hand around the nape of my neck and tugging me toward him, kissing me softly on the lips.
“What a Christmas,” he told me, gazing at me and brushing his thumb across my lower lip.
“Indeed,” I agreed.
“I love you,” he professed, running his fingers through my hair before meeting my nape once more.
“I love you,” I told him, my hand coming to rest on his forearm at my neck.
His face became serious and I searched his eyes, his furrowed brow.
“Stay with me,” he whispered, the hand that had been resting on my hip moved to meet the other side of my neck.
I swallowed, forcing my gaze downward. I’d had no idea how I was going to answer that because it was a forbidden topic, a forbidden thought. I was scared.
“I don’t know what to say,” I told him truthfully.
“Say you’ll stay. Give it all up, Soph. You have nothing really to go back to, you told me so yourself.”
“Excuse me? I have plenty to go back to,” I said, affronted.
“Yes, but none of it means anything.”
He was right, of course, but I didn’t like how he dismissed my old life so readily. Yeah, I was different since Masego but I could still have a righteous future in the States. But can you leave Ian? Really leave him? How about Mandisa?
I shook my head of the thoughts.
“I don’t have a choice,” I told him.
“You do. Choose me, Soph.”
But with Ian comes responsibility. Could I choose a Masego life for myself? For the rest of my life? Could I commit to it?
I hedged. “I’m due back in court at the completion of my sentence, though.”
“Then I’ll come with you and we’ll come back together,” he said, hugging me to his chest tightly. “It would probably be good to have a Masego rep there anyway.”
I pushed at him slightly. “We don’t have to decide now,” I told him.
He widened the distanced I’d created. “Why are you being so difficult about this?”
“I’m not,” I said. “It’s a really heavy decision, Ian. I want to be careful.”
“What’s to decide?” he asked, incensed. “If the situation were reversed, I wouldn’t hesitate!”
“Of course you wouldn’t! You already live here!”
“I see,” he said, dejected.
He stood and made his way to the back of the truck to grab his tools. I stood and hesitated reaching for him like my gut was screaming at me to do. Don’t lose him! it nagged. I followed him to the back to help but he had already gotten what he needed and was making his way back to the fence.
I stood next to him holding up the loose plank and the quiet was a heady thing. It weighed on my shoulders like nothing else before, a million pounds of unrequested pressure. Whenever I’d ever been faced with a difficult decision, I ran. Always. I ran as fast as I could and never looked back, constantly distracting myself from making any kind of decision that would alter my life one way or another.
But Ian didn’t deserve that. He was in love with me and was sad that he might lose me. How could I possibly get mad at that? How could I possibly tell him no? Masego made me happier than I’d ever been. Ian was the love of my life, I was certain, despite my young age. He was it.
“Ian, I-” I’d begun but he stopped me.
“Do you smell that?” he asked, distracted.
“What?” I asked, taking a deep breath.
“Something’s burning,” he said, standing rigidly straight and peering Masego’s direction.
It was too far away to see it and if there was smoke we couldn’t see it in the dark of the night.
“I smell it, too,” I said, worried we might be caught in an approaching grass fire. “What should we do?”
Suddenly, shots rang out from the direction of Masego. I jumped, grasping Ian’s arm. My heart dropped and a lump formed in my throat.
“What was that?” I asked Ian.
“Get in the jeep, Sophie.”
Ian dropped his tools where they lay and hopped in the driver’s seat so quickly I’d barely had time to register his command. I quickly obeyed, goosebumps rising on my skin when five consecutive shots rang out again. An unchecked sob came bursting from my throat.
“No!” I yelled as Ian started the jeep and peeling backwards from the fence. We raced, the lights from the jeep showing a seemingly endless sea of stark grass. The only sounds the blades slapping against the sides and our breaths as we blundered the length of the fence to get to the entrance.
“Please,” I begged out loud, my knuckles white against the dash.
I glanced at Ian and panic was written over every line of his face. My stomach plummeted further at his expression. Six more consecutive shots spilled from Masego and Ian punched the gas further, grabbing me by the arm and wrenching me into his side.
“Hold on,” he said steadily, before charging through the fence to get to Masego faster. When the truck righted, he said, “The guns, Sophie.”
I grabbed his assault rifle hung at the back of our bench seat and rested the butt against the floor near his leg then opened the glove box and removed the handgun. Instinctively, as Ian had taught me, I removed the magazine and checked the bullets before replacing it. I placed the gun in my lap. My hands shook as I wrenched my hair back into a ponytail.