Wanted (Most Wanted #1)(38)
Author: J. Kenner

“Just once or you’ll regret it. Besides, your uncle only said he wasn’t the guy for you, right? Not that you couldn’t fuck him. After all, it’s not like you’re marrying him.”

I took a sip of my beer. “You have a very convoluted way of thinking,” I told her. “I like it.”

She laughed. “Years of dedicated practice. And I know you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

She shrugged. “Just that you get off on the thrill. He’s put on the brakes? Big deal. That just makes him more of a challenge. And a lot more interesting challenge than snagging a couple of earrings.”

I leaned back in my seat. “I don’t do that anymore,” I said, purposefully staring at the white movie screen instead of Kat because I didn’t want her to see the truth in my eyes. Didn’t want her to see how close I’d come just a few hours ago. “I told you.” I hadn’t told her why. Hadn’t told her about the arrest. For one, I hadn’t wanted to get into it. For another, I’d been damned embarrassed at getting caught. But most important, Jahn had moved heaven and earth to get my record clear, because I was so freaked out about my transgression soiling my dad’s pristine reputation and ruining his shot at the vice presidency.

Which means I wasn’t about to tell anyone. Not even my best girlfriend.

More than that, the fact that I’d come so close today only underscored just how much of a wreck I was.

I thought of Evan. Of the peace I’d felt in his arms. Of the way I’d slept through the night with no nightmares nipping at my heels.

I so desperately wanted to be soothed like that again. I was centered right now, but I was balancing on a fence, and it would only take the slightest push to send me tumbling over.

I wanted the man. Needed him, even. And that only made the pain of his rejection that much keener.

Beside me, Kat was oblivious to my mental meanderings. Even so, she’d reached pretty much the same conclusion. “The point is that you’d get off on the thrill of having a guy like Evan Black in your bed.”

“I would,” I admitted, because I could hardly deny it. But that didn’t mean I was going to chase him.

I leaned toward her, sliding into gossip mode, both to distract her and because I wanted her reaction. “Kevin says the FBI is watching Evan. Tyler and Cole, too.”

Kat shifted in her seat, obviously intrigued. “Really? Do you think it’s true? I bet it is. They all have that bad boy look about them.” The corner of her mouth curved up. “Especially Cole.”

“You are so not subtle, you know.”

“What? He’s hot.”

“Can’t argue with that. Hell, they all are.”

“But are they criminal masterminds?” Her voice was laced with intrigue.

“Maybe. I don’t know.” I shrugged. “Probably not.”

“Oh, I bet they are,” she said. “Most of the time, the cops get it right. They just don’t always get the bad guys. Of course, that depends on how you define ‘bad guy.’” She leaned back in her seat, looking almost smug.

I frowned, the idea that Evan might end up behind bars was undeniably disturbing. But at the same time, the idea that he was cool enough and smart enough to avoid that net … well, I couldn’t deny that just thinking about it got my blood pumping. Like playing chicken on the train tracks or surfing on the roof of a car. Or even like snagging a pair of crappy earrings from Neiman Marcus.

She laughed. “Oh, man, the look on your face. You are so busted.”

I grimaced, but I didn’t deny.

“At any rate,” Kat continued, “all of this is beside the point.”

“I’ve completely forgotten what the point is.”

“The point is that you have to go for it. If you’re really moving to Washington—and I know the way you are with your dad, so I’m not even going to try to talk you out of it—then you need to go for it.”

“Go for it, as in what?” I asked, even though I knew damn well what she meant—and was only a hairsbreadth away from agreeing.

“Take a chance, Angie. You don’t have to be in Washington for a few more weeks, right? So work your magic and get Evan in your bed. If you don’t do it once, you’re going to regret it forever.”

She was right. Not only would I regret it, but I wasn’t sure that I could get through the next few weeks. That I could keep myself pulled together as I moved through the condo that had once been so full of Jahn’s laughter and conversation. As I packed to move to a city I didn’t want to live in for a job I wasn’t sure I’d even like, but that I knew Gracie would have loved.

The nightmares would return in full force. Hell, I could already feel them poking at me, like jabs from behind a dark curtain.

Could I take three weeks of this without needing to break free?

I could if I was in Evan’s arms—I was certain of it.

Without him, though …

Without him, I was terrified of simply crashing.

But that wasn’t the only reason that Kat’s proposal enticed me. The truth was, I simply wanted the man. Wanted him, and was certain that he wanted me, too.

I remembered the way I’d felt when he’d stood close to me in the elevator, the way the air had vibrated between us. The scent of him. The presence of him.

And then I remembered the way he’d shut me down. The way he’d shut us both down.

I shook my head. “I don’t know …”

“What’s not to know? It’s not like you’re going to get arrested—though you may end up on a surveillance tape.”

“Oh, like that’s an enticement?”

She ignored my half-assed protest. “And since he’s already said no once, if he says it again, you’re in the exact same place. And if he says yes, you’re golden, right? I mean, honestly, Angie, what have you got to lose?”

I remembered the feel of his hands upon me in the alley, the way my body had fired and opened to him.

I remembered the smell of cocoa when he handed me the mug, and how the soft glow in his eyes had warmed me even more than the liquid. I remembered the way I’d come awake the next morning, clear and crisp and nightmare free.

What did I have to lose?

That was easy—nothing.

Nothing, that is, except my heart.

It turns out that the whole “go after Evan Black” plan was a little more complicated than I’d anticipated, primarily because I had no idea how to get in touch with him other than through his office. I’d done that, leaving a message with his assistant through the automated voicemail system. Since I didn’t immediately get a call back—and I fully expected him to ignore the message—I decided to scour the entire condo in the hopes of finding his personal cell number. Then I’d cross my fingers and hope he’d answer.