Wanted (Most Wanted #1)(51)
Author: J. Kenner

His words crashed over me, tempting me even as he tethered me. Didn’t I already know this was a man I could let go with—a man who unleashed a wildness in me that didn’t involve fast cars or petty theft. With Evan, I felt free to be Lina again, even though Angie was the woman I needed to be. The woman I was going to have to be starting in three short weeks. Once I stepped into the world of politics, I needed to be squeaky clean because anything else could cost my father his career, not to mention his reputation.

This was my last chance. To let go. To fly. To have this man that I craved.

Just you and me and this one weekend.

It sounded so perfect. So tempting.

And too damn short.

I took a deep breath, trying to organize my thoughts. Because the truth was, I wanted more than this one night with Evan. I wanted a connection. I wanted the time we had left to be real and solid and shining.

I needed him, and I trusted him, but I was afraid that my earlier frenzied accusation about him trying to snatch the Creature Notebook had left a shadow looming between us. And the only way I could think of to banish that dark, was to explain exactly why Jahn had given the notebook to me in the first place.

“Earlier this year,” I began. “When they rushed Jahn into surgery, he didn’t wake up when they expected him to—nothing seemed to go right. It was horrible.”

“I remember.”

“I was a wreck.”

“I remember that, too,” he said, and I nodded agreement. Evan and Tyler and Cole had spent at least as much time at the hospital as I had, and I’d been grateful whenever our visits had overlapped because I’d soaked up their strength and claimed it for my own.

“I can’t recall any of the details of those days. They’re a blur. But the moment that they said he crossed the line—that he was okay—I had to get out of there. I had to just go, you know? Because all of that fear and worry that I’d been holding inside while I paced the hospital and waited was poisoning me. I had to get it out. And I—well, I kind of stole a diamond bracelet.”

His scarred brow lifted. “All right,” he said. “You have my attention.”

“I got away with it, or so I thought. But it turns out there were security cameras. It took them over a month, but they caught me.”

I shuddered, remembering how mortified I’d been when the cops had confronted me in the condo lobby on April Fool’s Day. Jahn had been home from the hospital about a week, but he hadn’t yet been cleared to go back to the office. I’d been on my way back from an ice cream run, and they’d taken me away. “I spent the night in jail, and the next day I told Jahn everything—including why I did it.”

“Why did you?”

“To feel that rush,” I said, looking right at his eyes. “Sometimes, when I needed to let go, when everything just got to be too much for me—well, sometimes that’s what I would do.”

“I get it,” Evan said, and I knew that he needed no further explanation. “So you were in jail,” he continued. “What did Jahn do?”

“He moved heaven and earth for me without ever leaving his condo. I think you could probably interview the arresting officers now, and even they’d swear they have no knowledge of me. This is a big year for my dad, what with the talk of him being on the short list to run as VP. That kind of scandal would not have been good.”

“And then he changed his will,” Evan said, seeing exactly where I was going with this.

“He did,” I said. “He left me the notebook. Me, not you. And I think it was his way of telling me that no matter how badly I fucked up, that he still believed in me. That he still trusted and respected me.” I shrugged. “I loved that notebook, and he knew it. I guess the bottom line is that I think the bequest was his way of saying that he loved me.”

Evan nodded slowly. “Why are you telling me this now?”

I hesitated, taking a moment to draw courage. “Because I wanted you to understand why I’m not going to give it to you. And because—”

“Why?”

“Because

I want three weeks,” I announced boldly. “And I thought you deserved the truth before I said so.”

“What are you talking about?” He was watching me intently, and there was a small crease above his nose, as if he was concentrating on a particularly knotty problem. That, apparently, would be me.

I sucked in a breath. “I’m moving to Washington. My dad got me a job as a legislative aide. That’s why I went to Destiny.” My cheeks flamed, which was ridiculous considering all we’d done together in the last few hours. “I wanted to have you. Just once, like I said. I wanted to finish what we started. More than that, I wanted the way you make me feel.”

“But?” There was an edge to his voice that I couldn’t quite identify.

“But once wasn’t enough. Now I want more,” I said firmly. “You asked me how high? Well, that’s my answer. As high as you can take me before I leave. And who knows—maybe we’ll get each other out of our systems.”

I was breathing hard, watching him. And, dammit, just thinking about what I was suggesting had turned me on. My nipples were tight behind the terry cloth of the robe, and I was suddenly aware of the heat at the juncture of my thighs.

“No,” he said.

I looked up sharply, prepared to protest, but didn’t have the chance before he continued.

“No,” he repeated. “I don’t think you’ll ever be out of my system. But as for how high I can take you …”

I held my breath as he reached out, trailing a finger down the neckline of the robe.

“We’ve already gone pretty damn far,” he whispered. Slowly, he reached out and tugged loose the tie of the robe, then spread the top open, revealing my shoulders and breasts. “But have we gone far enough?” he asked. He brushed the pad of his thumb over my already erect nipple. “You’re right, baby. I can take you one hell of a lot further.” He took his thumb off my breast and drew it along my lower lip, then thrust it gently into my mouth. I opened for him, sucking and tasting, my eyes closed as I simply reveled in it.

I wanted it—god how I wanted it. Wanted to go completely and totally wild with him. And yet the tightness in my chest was growing. A bone-deep trepidation. Because the more I realized that this was really happening, the more my old fears bubbled up.

Part of me screamed that I was the one that started this, so I needed to just keep my damn mouth shut. But I couldn’t help it. All my doubts—all my fears—were once again rising to the surface.