Wanting More (Mitchell Family #5)(3)
Author: Jennifer Foor

I tried to leave him once a few years back and that is when the physical abuse happened for the first time. You see, I was used to him verbally abusing me; in fact, he often did it. It made him proud to be able to talk to me like I was a piece of shit. It used to hurt me so much, to a point where I truly believed that I was worthless. It pushed me to work harder, in hopes that someday I would be able to have his love again.

I don’t know how many nights I laid in my bed praying that he would stop drinking. When he was sober, he was the nicest guy. I tried to explain to him one night how he got and he brushed it off, saying I was exaggerating. I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to leave, but knew his name was on my salon. I knew if I tried to leave him, I would lose everything. It was easier for me to just learn to obey him, just so I didn’t have to hear him bitch at me.

For a while, things were better. He’d slowed his drinking down and even went out and took the test to drive tractor trailers. He even seemed excited and promised that our lives were going to be different. At first they were. In fact, for the first six months, he was a changed man. When he went out on the road, he would bring me home flowers and take me out places. Our sex life became so much better and I fell back in love with him completely.

That was until one afternoon when he’d asked me to help him clean out his truck.

His favorite football team had lost to their rivals and he’d drank himself into a stupor. To avoid him being angry at me later, I decided to go ahead and clean his truck without his help. I figured that he would praise me and be grateful for me doing something like that for him. I had no idea there were things he was keeping from me.

The first pair of panties were a shocker, but after I’d found two more, I couldn’t contain the hurt I felt. I’d never been betrayed like that. I don’t know how long I sat out in the cabin of that truck crying. To make matters worse, I also found an entire box of  p**n o tapes and several used condoms that were wrapped in tissues.

I didn’t know what to say. He’d been drinking and I didn’t want the old Rick to come back. Of course, once he woke up, I couldn’t hold in my anger. I brought him the pile of things I found in his truck and he went off on me. The first slap caught me off guard and sent me falling into a chair. As I held my hand over my stinging face, he came at me again, this time grabbing me by the wrist and throwing me down on the ground. The pain of him doing that couldn’t compare to the things he was saying. “Poor little Amy. What did you think? Did you think I was just going to turn down the pu**y? Did you think that I was actually missing you when I was on the road for days at a time? Fuck you, you little worthless piece of trailer trash. Without me you have nothing.”

He went on and on until I grabbed my keys and went running out of the house. He was right about one thing, I had nothing without him. Before meeting Rick, I’d run my credit through the mud and was left with not being able to finance anything. My company was in his name as well as my bank accounts. There was no way for me to get out from under him without sneaking around.

My drive to Miranda’s seemed to take forever, but once I got there, I finally felt like I was safe. She met me at the door and wrapped her arms around me. “Are you okay?”

“I’m better now.”

She sat me down on the couch and got me some tissues. “You want to talk about it?”

I noticed Ty and Bella were running around playing and had to smile at them. I’d wanted kids ever since I was little, but it never happened for Rick and I, even after years of trying. He never seemed to mind since he already had a daughter, but it never filled that void for me.

Shelby was a cute girl, but she had little respect for adults. Miranda had let her babysit once and Bella had drawn all over their walls. I felt horrible over it. Much to my surprise, they laughed it off.

They were good people like that. I admired their relationship so much. The love that Ty felt for Miranda was something I longed to feel. He did little things for her all of the time and always put her on a pedestal. Our town was small and everyone knew everyone, in fact, I’d been cutting Savanna’s and Ty’s mother’s hair since the salon opened. She’d told me all about the breakup and how her daughter had moved to Kentucky to marry Ty’s cousin. It sounded crazy until I met all of them. Those four were so close, it was almost unbelievable. They were a strong family with huge hearts and I admired them so much.

Growing up, I had one brother and a sister. They were both more than five years older than me. My parents divorced when I turned thirteen and it led to a downward spiral. I started sneaking out and hanging out with the older crowds. I lost my virginity at fourteen to a guy that was twenty one. I’d put on makeup and lowered my shirt just enough to fool everyone into thinking I was eighteen. It was stupid and at first I regretted it, but as the time passed, I found that the parties kept my mind away from my shitty home life.

My parents went from being madly in love, to hating each other. My mother turned around and got married one month after her divorce was finalized, while my father reverted to sleeping with girls that weren’t much older than me. Since he owned the local hardware store a town over, I knew I had to get the hell out of dodge if I ever wanted to feel free. When I turned seventeen, I ran off to Vegas with this guy I barely knew. He was twenty three and running from the law.

I didn’t know it at the time, but he had been in a bar fight and was wanted for stabbing someone in the parking lot and robbing them. Once we were out of the state, I had no idea it ever happened until I came back.

When we first got to Vegas it was amazing. We found a little motel to live out of and both of us found jobs. Since I was too young to gamble, I managed to save most of what I made, but my boyfriend, Chase, turned to spending his money on drugs and then finally hookers. I will never forget the night he brought one back to our hotel. He was stoned out of his mind and pulled a knife on me. I was so astonished that I couldn’t believe it was really happening.

His breath smelled of liquor and vomit as he shoved his face against mine and told me I had to take my clothes off and be with the dirty half-dressed skank standing across from me. I did what I had to do to survive.

That next morning, I was on a bus on my way home. Since I wasn’t in love with Chase, it really didn’t hurt me at all. I was more angry at myself than anything.

My mother disowned me for what I’d done, but my father was more forgiving. In that year, he had settled down with a woman who was in her thirties and they were expecting a child together. He seemed happy and I just wanted something solid in my life, so it was easy to accept her.