Wanting More (Mitchell Family #5)(30)
Author: Jennifer Foor

She cried out as my erection emptied inside of her and relaxed her head on my chest. I continued to kiss the top of her head and hold her tight. After a few moments, I knew we had to get up and get cleaned up. I cupped her cheeks and kissed her tenderly. “What are you doin’ to me, darlin’?”

She shrugged and started climbing off of me. I grabbed her and pulled her back onto the bed. “As much as I love watching you walk around naked, I’m not ready to let you go just yet.”

“People are going to be here and there’s nothing done. Do you want them to find out about us?”

I ran the back of my hand over her cheek. “I don’t give a damn who knows. How much longer are you goin’ to make me wait before admittin’ that we are good together?”

She shook her head and looked away. “Conner, please don’t do this. We can’t.”

“We can’t, or you don’t want to?” We were sitting on the bed facing each other and my heart was beating so damn fast just talking to her. “Amy, I think about you all the time. I’m tired of wonderin’ if I gotta wait another six months to be with you.”

“It isn’t that I don’t want that. You know I do. We just can’t yet.”

“When then? When are you goin’ to finally be free?”

“When are you going to stop this bullshit plan of seducing Heather? Even Ty would say you were an idiot if he knew what you were doing.” She cocked her eyebrow and I knew the subject pissed her off.

“It’s not like I’m sleepin’ with her.”

“Not yet!”

“Woman, all you have to do is decide to be with me and there won’t be anyone standing in our way. I can promise you that.”

She shook her head and started putting her pants back on. “You don’t know what you want Conner. For you, it’s about the chase. If I was single, you probably wouldn’t even be interested. I’m older than you and have nothing to offer.” She motioned her hands between the two of us. “This is all about the excitement. It’s not real.”

“You don’t believe that.” I grabbed her and pulled her into my arms. “You’re wrong. At first maybe it was about gettin’ in your pants, but it ain’t like that now. Once I had you, I knew I wanted somethin’ more. You can deny it all you want, but I ain’t never wanted a woman, like I continue to want you.”

“I need time, Conner. I need you to be my friend right now.”

I put my hands in my face and held them there for a second. “I ain’t never met a woman as stubborn as your ass. I will break that wall and you will be mine.”

She patted my leg and kissed the top of my head. By the time I looked up she was walking out of my room.

Chapter 18

Amy

Spending time with Conner and Miranda’s family always made me envious. They were all so close and I wanted that for myself. Conner kept pushing my buttons during the baby shower. Every time he got a chance he was catching me standing alone in a corner and reminding me of what we had done in his room.

I wanted to believe that he had real feelings for me, but I think sometimes he forgot that I’d known his sister for a long time and she had told me all of the stories about him. He wasn’t exactly the poster boy for relationships, in fact, she told me once that he didn’t do them at all. Still, the man was always around for me. I could call him in the middle of the night and he would answer.

In the next month Rick became overwhelmed with his new job. His daughter was pretty much living with her boyfriend, behind her father’s back. I kept busy with work and saved up two thousand dollars without anyone noticing. It wasn’t enough to move out, but it gave me hope that it would come soon. When I did leave, I would be without a job and a place to live.

Since Rick was always on the road, we got along better when he was home. His new schedule kept him away for four days out of the week and normally he would sleep for two whole days when he was home. He claimed the money was better, but I never saw a cent. I had no idea what our bills were, not that I even cared anymore.

I stayed focused, becoming even better friends with Conner, while keeping my distance from him. It was easy with Rick being seemingly happy at home. His drinking was lighter and we hadn’t had any kind of confrontations. I knew that he knew I was unhappy though, because there was no chemistry between us. Several times he had initiated sex with me and I ended up just lying there the whole time. I couldn’t get into it. He repulsed me so much that I loathed him.

I will never forget the day when I decided to write my father a letter. I told him how I needed him in my life. It was hard for me to mail it out but I did it anyway. I also reached out to my brother and sister, who I found on the internet, living in other states. It was difficult for me to admit, even on paper, how my life had turned out. It was also hard knowing that the only person I could talk to about it was Connor.

He said he wanted more from me, but I couldn’t see past my current situation to take that kind of leap. It was like he kept hanging on even when I gave him a million reasons to stop being my friend. I felt like in some ways I was using him for his kindness. I didn’t want to be that person, so I ended up pushing him further away. Still, my feelings never changed for Connor, and at the end of every day he was all that I wanted and what I would never have.

After two weeks of waiting I finally heard from my sister. She was in the middle of a divorce and raising her three children by herself. I was happy to be back in contact with her, but as far as getting help, I knew I just couldn’t ask.

She told me that my brother had gone to jail for armed robbery. His wife cleaned out the house and took the kids and nobody ever heard from her again.

I had hopes of reconnecting with my father, but as the weeks turned into months, all my hope went out the door.

For many nights I cried myself to sleep. I was utterly miserable and couldn’t find that one olive branch to help find my way out of it all. I was pretty sure Rick was seeing someone while he was on the road. Since his daughter basically didn’t live at home anymore, he spent more time out driving and less time being off. It was fine with me, since I wished he would get hit by a car and die. I hated to be so cold, but he’d hurt me physically and mentally and I knew I could never get past that.

I knew he’d stopped caring about what I was doing. Conner called me every day and we talked sometimes into the night. He continued to ask me every day to see him, but after two months, he was still pretending to have feelings for Heather. I refused to ask him details of their relationship, but he said he was close to knowing the truth and ending the charade.