Wanting More (Mitchell Family #5)(49)
Author: Jennifer Foor

He wasn’t happy about it.

Since Rick was up my ass when he was off, he purposely drug me all over town on the weekends. I will never forget being in that grocery store and seeing Conner and Ty pushing two carts with a twin in each one. Ty waved to me and turned around to say something to Conner. He got a big smile on his face, but it disappeared as soon as he saw Rick coming around the corner.

I knew that Ty knew that Conner and I were more than friends. I wasn’t sure how much he knew, but it was enough for me to worry. In this particular circumstance, Ty walked out of the isle like it was no big deal, while Conner stayed back watching me closely.

Rick walked up behind me and reached a box off the shelf. He put his arm around me to place the box in the cart and smacked my ass and as he pulled away he kissed me right on the lips. I could see the pain in the Conner’s eyes and I immediately wanted to vomit. If I went running to him, all of my time would have been wasted, so I stayed back and watched him push his cart out of the aisle. I wanted to cry, but had to pretend that I never saw Conner, just in case Rick did.

Thankfully, Rick never noticed that the guy in the baseball hat and hoodie was the man of my dreams, but I had. I also knew that he wasn’t going to be able to deal with what he’d just saw.

We were able to finish our shopping without seeing him again, but the damage was done.

All I wanted to do was get to my secret phone and explain myself, but I couldn’t do that either. In fact, it was a couple of hours before I was able to check it and I kind of wished I hadn’t.

This ain’t cool. – C

Please say something. – C

I’m going crazy here. I need to talk to you. –C

I thought about what I could say in a text message that would make him feel better, but there was nothing.

I’ll come to the bar and meet you out back while you’re at pool league. Meet me out back around seven. I love you. – A

I’ll be at the bar, but I ain’t happy with the way you love me right now. This is bullshit! – C

As soon as Rick left for work, I rushed out the door to meet Conner. My drive there was filled with fear and anxiety. I’d seen Conner angry and even hurt, but I was the cause and I just couldn’t stand myself. He was leaning against the back of the building with a beer in his hand. Right before I climbed out of the car the bartender went walking up to him and said something, before turning to see me and walking back into the bar. After watching her walk away, he turned his attention back to me.

“What was that?” I was pissed. This was the second time that I’d seen her giving him that look and it wasn’t a ‘thanks for the dollar tip last week’ kind of look.

“Nothin’.”

I put my hands my hips. “You expect me to believe that what I just saw was nothing? I’m not an idiot Conner. That girl wants you and you know it.”

He leaned back against the wall again and started laughing. “You know, it’s funny that you even noticed considerin’ you’re too damn busy f**kin’ your husband again. I mean, how are you even here? Did you take a break from suckin’ on his dick to tell me to wait a couple more months?”

Never in my life had I ever felt the way I felt that very second. I walked right up to him and slapped him in the face. “How dare you say that to me.”

He grabbed my arm and held it as he got up in my face. I could smell the alcohol on his breath and the tears filled my eyes. “I call it like I see it, darlin’.”

Even as I began to sob, he wouldn’t listen to me. “Please Conner, you have to believe me. I’m not sleeping with Rick, I swear.”

“You know, I get that I’m not good at relationships, but after dealin’ with this shit with you, I just don’t think I’m even interested in havin’ one anymore. My life was a hell of a lot better when a f**k was just a f**k.” He let go of my arm and crossed his.

I tried to hold him; to separate his arms and fall into his chest, but he wouldn’t let me. He looked at me with such cold eyes. “Conner, please. I swear that you’re all I want. What do I have to do to prove it to you?”

“Just like you told me you loved me, but never could leave him. Do you know how it felt to see him touchin’ you? I can’t do this shit anymore, Amy. I’m not goin’ to let you hurt me anymore. Get back in your car and go home to your husband that beats and cheats on you. Have a nice f**kin’ life.” He took his beer and chucked it out into the dark parking lot and walked back into the bar.

Ty and Miranda were in there and I knew I couldn’t chase after him. I fell down to the ground and cried my eyes out. When I managed to get in the car, I only made it a mile down the road before I had to pull over.

I knew he was mad at me, but I had no idea just how mad. He wasn’t going to wait for me. I’d lost Conner and all of my hopes of ever being happy again.

For the next week, I sent hundreds of text messages. I called and left messages where I was crying so bad I was sure he couldn’t understand the words I was saying.

He never responded to any of them.

Even Rick knew something was wrong and it was hard for me to not be able to explain. I made up a lie that I was having female problems and needed to have tests done. I didn’t feel bad for lying to Rick, especially knowing that because of him, I’d lost everything. The salon suddenly meant nothing to me without Conner in my life.

One week turned into four and all of my hopes of ever being able to talk to Conner again were slowly fading away.

I’d considered driving to the farm and begging him for another chance. I’d even considered telling Miranda the whole truth and pleading with her to help me. The problem was that I was still married and all of the help in the world couldn’t fix my current situation. Conner wasn’t ever going to forgive me until I could forgive myself and just walk away.

While trying to figure out a way out of my awful life, I started looking into Rick’s mail when he wasn’t watching me. I had cloned his phone, but never caught him making any calls to anyone suspicious. With him being home, my spy time was limited. At night, I’d followed him to work a couple times, but he never met anyone before he went in. I was beginning to think that maybe Rick had been telling the truth all along. Maybe he really did want to work things out with me.

That scared me even more. I’d promised to be with a man I was trying to take down and the only thing I could dig up on him was that for once he was being honest.