Wanting More (Mitchell Family #5)(50)
Author: Jennifer Foor

My way out wasn’t looking bright anymore and my hope of ever being with Conner again was fading into a forgotten dream.

Chapter 31

Conner

I was tired of waiting and there was only one way to end this game.

Play it my way.

Pushing Amy away that night at the bar was the hardest damn thing I’ve ever done in my life. She didn’t know it, but once I saw her pull away, I drove myself home. Ty and Miranda asked me what was wrong and I just told them I didn’t feel good. Besides, the damn bartender was getting on my last nerve, always trying to get me to take her somewhere.

Seeing the pain in her eyes and hearing her beg me to reconsider played in my head for days. It didn’t help that she continued to reach out to me for some kind of hope that we still had a chance of being together.

What Amy didn’t understand was that I was just waiting for her to take that leap of faith and show up at my door. I hadn’t given up on her, not just yet. She was where I wanted to be, I just needed her to let it happen.

Seeing her with Rick was the last straw for me. I know she was claiming to be pretending, although seeing her in the grocery store and watching him touching her, well, it was just too much to handle. It was like she was nailing my coffin. I could see it in her eyes that she was sorry, but it wasn’t good enough anymore. I’d changed everything about myself to keep her safe and offer her a happy life, while she continued to live under the same roof with someone who’d done nothing but repeatedly hurt her.

I was hardheaded and tired of being the second priority. Maybe it was selfish of me to not give her more time, but I just couldn’t handle it. When I left that grocery store, I glued myself to Ty and Miranda to keep from wanting to take a pill. I just wanted the pain to go away and it was the fast way to make it happen.

When Thanksgiving came around and we were in Kentucky, I found myself missing Amy more than ever. I wasn’t there for an hour before I broke down and sent her a text message and honestly, I figured she would have kept the phone turned off by now, or maybe even thrown it away.

I miss my Blaze.- C

A couple hours went by before my phone buzzed. I was in the woods with my family scoping out hunting spots. My stomach was in knots anticipating what I was about to read. She could have been telling me to burn in hell, I just didn’t know.

I miss you more. – A

Can I call you? – C

Yes. – A

I had to walk around in the woods to find a spot with good enough service before I could call. I swear my heart was beating so fast as the phone began to ring. When I heard her voice, I just felt like driving back to North Carolina and getting her.

Hello?

Hey darlin’. God, it’s good to hear your voice.

She immediately started crying and I don’t think she was trying to hide it from me.

I thought you were never going to talk to me again. I miss you so much, Conner.

Yeah, that’s why I sent you that message. I miss you too. How have you been?

Aside from my heart being broken? Just peachy.

Amy, you pushed me away. If anyone’s heart is broken it’s mine. I gave it all to you and you didn’t want it.

That’s not true, Conner.

Yeah, I think it is. I gave you so many reasons to be with me, but you stayed with him anyway. Is he still being Mr. Perfect?

Did you call me to be mean?

I ran my hands through my hair and realized I was being an ass. I half expected her to hang up on me for it.

I’m sorry, darlin’. I guess I’m still torn up over it.

Conner, time isn’t going to change how much I love you. You can push me away all you want, but I’ve never stopped wanting you.

Well, I need more than you’re willin’ to give me.

So did you go out and find something to make you happy?

Are you really askin’ me if I’ve hooked up with someone else?

Well, I saw the bartender that night you broke up with me and since you’re home in Kentucky, I just figured they’d all be lining up.

It made me laugh that she thought that. Was I that much of a dick to her to make her think that I’d f**k other girls to forget about her? This wasn’t some stupid novel that her or my sister read. This was my real life.

Yeah, hold that thought. I can see my family comin’ and I don’t feel like endin’ this conversation just yet.

My cousin Colt came walking up to me. “Hey, you ready to head back?”

I put my hand over the phone. “Just give me a minute.”

“You want me to take John back?” Colt asked.

“Yeah, if you don’t mind. Do me a favor and don’t mention that it was because I was on the phone. I don’t need anyone in my business.” My sister and her big mouth would just make me more pissed.

“Sure thing. You should have invited her to dinner.”

I shook my head, wishing that she really was with me. “Yeah, it’s not like that. Can we talk about it later?”

Colt chuckled and walked away. “Yeah, see you then.”

Amy? You still there?

Yes.

Sorry, Colt was askin’ me somethin’. Now, as far as me hookin’ up with other women. You really think it’s that easy for me?

According to your sister, it’s how you’ve always been.

My sister needs to stay the hell out of my business. When did you talk about me anyway?

A long time ago.

Well, people change.

Yeah, I guess they do.

Speaking of people changin’, where’s that husband of yours?

Conner, please don’t ask me about him.

No, how come you can talk to me this long? Where is he?

He’s at a meeting. Then he is picking up the turkey and stopping by his daughter’s boyfriends to ask her to come to dinner.

So he leaves you home alone now?

Today he did. Look, I know what you’re thinking and you’re wrong.

Yeah, I don’t think I am. He wouldn’t trust you unless you gave him something he wanted. Guess I know where we stand.

Did I act like this when you were messing around with Heather?

That was a fake relationship, not someone I was married to.

I am faking.

With which one of us?

Fuck you, Conner. I hate that you made me love you and then pushed me away.

I pushed her away because I thought it would make her leave him.

Woman, if you weren’t so damn hard headed we would be together right now, instead of arguin’ about it.

You’re the stubborn one, Conner!

Well it takes one to know one I guess.

Are you going to just hang up and not talk to me for another couple of months?