You Were Mine (Rosemary Beach #9)(16)
Author: Abbi Glines

She had undone her bikini straps for me once. But I’d lost that girl, along with her adoring gazes. Pain sliced through my chest whenever I thought of never having that again. I wasn’t going to lie, I had looked for it elsewhere. When I knew I would never have Bethy again, I had tried to recapture that feeling I’d had with her. I had tried with so many women. But even the ones with stars in their eyes never measured up. They weren’t Bethy.

It had taken me six long years to face the fact that I would only ever want her. Coming back to Rosemary Beach and seeing her with Jace, I had told myself her happiness would be enough for me. But it hadn’t been. I had wanted more. So I’d left Rosemary Beach again, not wanting to ruin what she had with Jace.

But my leaving hadn’t helped anything. It had only made things worse.

I never should have returned. But I had, and I couldn’t change that now.

I wasn’t leaving Bethy again.

Bethy

This was easier than I’d expected. The peace and quiet were perfect. I felt the warmth from the day’s sun on my arms and legs as I walked toward the luau on the main part of the island. This wasn’t the rehearsal dinner—that would be tomorrow night. This was Della and Woods’s version of a bachelor and bachelorette party. Woods had been adamant about not having one, and he didn’t want Della to have one, either. He wanted to party with their friends as a couple, not celebrate apart. So we were doing it island-style at a luau. The coconut tops and authentic grass skirts that Della had delivered to our huts were a surprise. I had to admit they were more comfortable than I’d imagined. I was glad I’d gotten some sun on my arms before putting on the top.

Tiki torches lit the way as I walked toward the gathering crowd.

“Hello, Bethy.” Tripp’s voice startled me, and I turned to see him; he was wearing a pair of board shorts and nothing else. He had several tattoos now. I didn’t want to study them or admire them, so I tore my gaze off his naked chest and turned back around.

“Hi,” I replied coolly. Ignoring him on this island would be uncomfortable for everyone. I didn’t want that for Woods and Della. It was time I moved past this and ended all emotion where Tripp was concerned.

As if he had read my thoughts, he gave me space and didn’t say another word. We walked in silence toward the group, and then Tripp walked off to the right to the bar without a backward glance my way.

Letting out the breath I’d been holding, I went in the opposite direction and found Blaire sipping a fruity drink and talking to Della.

“Rush is a very big fan of the outfit. He said he was eternally grateful to you,” Blaire was saying, giggling, as I walked up. I could only imagine how excited Rush was about the coconut bra and the grass skirt Blaire was wearing.

“Hello, Bethy,” Della said through her laughter. “It appears the men are very happy with the ladies’ outfits tonight. Well, except for Grant. Harlow texted me that she was having a hard time getting out of the hut in it. Grant was being a caveman about her wearing it in public.”

That sounded like Grant. He’d been all fun and games until Harlow walked into his life. Now he was a protective daddy and a possessive husband. It looked good on him.

“So how do you like your hut?” Della asked, watching me carefully. As if she were prepared for me not to love it.

“I think it’s fabulous. So not a hut, more like a personal paradise on water.”

Della glanced over my shoulder and then back at me and smiled. “Good. I’m glad you’re happy. We’ve filled up every hut on the island. I want everyone to be happy with their accommodations.”

“Seriously. This place is amazing,” I assured her.

“Rush and I are staying on the main island,” Blaire said, taking a sip of her drink. “Those huts look fabulous, but once Nate gets here, I wouldn’t be able to sleep thinking about him running off into the water so easily. But the hut they gave us on the main island is beautiful. We love it, and it’s far enough off the water that I won’t be nervous about Nate taking a flying leap into it.”

Blaire glanced over my shoulder, then looked back at me with a frown. “Bethy, what’s going on with you and Tripp?” she asked. Leave it to Blaire to just ask me straight out. I had dodged this question with her so many times I couldn’t count anymore.

“Nothing,” I replied, feeling guilty for not telling her the truth.

“You’re lying to me. I can see it all over your face. Plus, Tripp watches your every move.”

Della had a nervous look on her face. She knew something. She and Tripp were friends. Good friends. He’d been the reason she came to Rosemary Beach in the first place. I had been so incredibly jealous of her. I had hated myself for it, too. Pretending it hadn’t been killing me when she’d stayed at Tripp’s condo had been hard. But then it hadn’t been but a couple of weeks before it was obvious that Della wanted Woods.

“Bethy, look at me,” Blaire said in a low voice.

I glanced up at her, and the concerned frown on her face only deepened. “Did something happen with you and Tripp?”

I was tired of pretending it hadn’t happened. “A long time ago. Before he left Rosemary Beach the first time,” I admitted in a whisper.

Della let out a sigh, and I looked over at her to see relief on her face. She had known. He’d told her. But she hadn’t said anything. Not even to Blaire.

“Thought so. That’s the only thing that made sense,” Blaire said, studying someone across the fire. I didn’t have to look to know she was watching Tripp. “Was it serious?”

“Yes,” I replied. I couldn’t tell her more. I couldn’t tell either of them more. It was a secret that hurt too much to share. It was my biggest mistake. I would never forgive myself. Every time I held Nate and Lila Kate, I knew I would never be worthy of having kids. I couldn’t forgive myself. How could I expect anyone else to?

“But it was a long time ago. Why are you so mad at him?” Blaire asked.

Because he made me question my love for Jace. Because he reminded me that I had something big once. Something huge. He reminded me that what I felt for Jace wasn’t as big. And I hated myself for that. I hated him for it. “I can’t talk about it. Please, just drop it,” I said, unable to look at her.

I didn’t wait for a response. I forced a smile at Della, then turned and headed away from the group. I wanted the darkness for a moment. To be alone. To pull myself together so I could go back and pretend I was OK.