Accidentally…Over? (Accidentally Yours #5)(25)
Author: Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

At least it was late morning and the rush of vacationing caffeine addicts would be over. She wouldn’t have to worry about having an epic freak-out in front of a ton of customers. The thought of a bunch of soldiers running her café and of her leaving it behind for an indefinite period of time did not sit well. The café was a piece of her family’s history, a cherished, beloved heirloom.

She approached the first small bend in the beachfront road, the one that skirted the edge of the eco-resort next door to her café, and noted something odd: a crowd. All female. Right in front of her shop. Given this was low season for tourists, it was normal to see a few random people strolling down the narrow dirt road, but not a crowd.

Was someone famous in town? Maybe Spin Doctors, Meat Loaf—gasp!—Nirvana?

She approached, realizing the crowd was really a line flowing from her café into the street. She squeezed her way past the eager, chatting women through the front door.

Huhhh?

A team of six men—enormous, frigging smokin’ hot, unshaven men, wearing cutoffs and well-fitted tees—were busing tables, washing dishes, and sweeping the floor. The drool practically flowed from the women’s mouths as they gawked and ooh-ahed, waiting for their turn to order something from the largest man, with cropped brown hair and stunning green eyes, who stood behind the register beside Fernando. Ashli had never seen so many sexually ravenous women, nor had she seen so many people inside her tiny café.

Speechless, Ashli also stared at the burly men. The white aprons they wore, the ones with the café’s logo—a tiny, fluffy cloud that said “Cielito Lindo”—looked more like doilies pasted on their massive chests. It looks like my café was taken over by Chippendales. And at any moment, the men would burst out into a choreographed dance where they’d reveal that those cutoffs were seamed with Velcro.

Fernando looked up and spotted Ashli. “Caray, Ashli. Where have you been?”

She made her way to the register only to be stopped by a short little lady in a neon-orange beach dress. “Excuse me, but the line is back there.” She scowled.

Ashli glimpsed at the mob of glaring female beachgoers. They looked like they might drag her outside and beat her with their flip-flops.

“Uhhh… sorry ladies,” Ashli said apologetically. “I just need this guy for a moment. But I’ll leave the big one right where he is.” Ashli pointed to Fernando. “Can I talk to you outside?”

“Yes, please,” he replied and quickly followed her toward the back patio, out to the beach.

She knew Fernando was about to start asking all sorts of questions, but what would she say? The truth was completely out of the question. Death is stalking me. An annoying, arrogant, rude, handsome, sexy god, who smells like heaven and is completely transparent, was sent from the future to prevent me from dying, so I can save the planet someday—not that I believe it. Oh, and I’m supposedly his “mate,” whatever that means, but he finds me beneath him and plans to have me wiped from his memory. That bothers me. I don’t know why. I’m stupid.

“From the way you’re walking, I’m guessing your head is better?” Fernando said, catching up and walking beside her.

The wind suddenly picked up, blowing her wild curls over her face. Oh, good. Maybe then he won’t see the panic in my eyes.

“Fine. I’m fine,” she said, trying to mask her nervousness. “But I need to leave for a while. It’s a… family emergency.”

Fernando grabbed her elbow and stopped her. “Ashli, are you in trouble?” he whispered. “Who are these men? And why do I get the feeling that they are not really your cousins.”

Is that what they’d told him?

“They’re distant cousins. I barely know them.”

“Why don’t they speak?” he asked. “Well, one does—that guy behind the register with me, Brutus. But the others haven’t said a word. It’s really weird.”

Ashli felt a poke in the small of her back. She yelped.

Máax. What a knave!

“Are you okay?” Fernando looked at her with curiosity.

“Ummm… yeah. I have this annoying cough. So, so, so annoying. I wish it would go away.” She felt a tiny pinch on her bottom, causing her to yelp again.

Ohmygod. What a jerk!

Fernando probably thought her marbles were going to show up on the back of a milk carton.

She coughed again, trying to mimic that yelp. “See. Totally annoying. Not funny. Not at all.”

Then she felt something that nearly sent her spinning with her fist, but she resisted. Máax had placed his hand on her ass. And left it there.

“Darn it! Don’t you just hate those?” Ashi swatted a nonexistent no-see-um and turned, using her body to shield the view of her elbow jabbing into Máax’s chest.

Máax grunted on impact, and she made certain to flash a satisfied little smile before coughing again, this time with a deep voice—hack, hack, hack—to mask Máax’s groan.

“Damn pests!” she said. “Don’t you just want to squish them with your bare hands?”

Fernando stared. “Are you sure your head injury is better?”

Nope! “I have to go, Fernando.” She stepped to the side, but the hand returned to her ass. Did he think this was funny? “Oh! And don’t worry about my cousins,” she added. “They’re the quiet type but totally harmless. I’ll call you every day and check in on things. Okay?”

“Uh… Okay.” He gave her another look, this one saying that he thought she was completely full of shit.

Smart guy!

She gave him a hug, and they headed back toward the café. Once inside, the tallest of the men stopped and stared for a moment before pasting on an exaggerated smile. “Ashli. My dear cousin. Say hello to Uncle Máax for us. We hope he recovers from his head cold.”

Ashli smiled back uncomfortably. “Thanks. I’ll let him know, Brutus.”

She pushed her way through the anxious female crowd and headed outside. A black SUV with tinted windows immediately pulled up, and Máax ushered her toward it. Their ride, she presumed.

Just then, a scraggly-looking older man wearing a worn straw hat and a grungy shirt stepped between her and the vehicle. “Ya viene el fin del mundo! Arrepiéntanse ahora.” He shoved a flier in her face.

The end of the world is coming. Repent now. Jeez, thanks.