Accidentally…Over? (Accidentally Yours #5)(26)
Author: Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

“Uhhh. Gracias?” She took the piece of paper and waited for the man to move from her path, which he did not.

“Ya viene el fin del mundo! Arrepiéntanse ahora,” the man repeated, a wild look in his eyes. What did he want?

“All right. That’s about enough,” Máax blurted out. “I get the point, but you’re certainly not helping my confidence here.”

Unable to see anyone, the man stumbled back and fell on his ass.

“Máax,” Ashli chastised.

“Oh. He had it coming. Trust me,” Máax replied as the man scurried away, flashing frantic glances over his shoulder. “Así es!” Máax barked at the fleeing man. “This f**king world ain’t over until I say it’s f**king over! You got that?”

“Wow. Nice. Real nice, Máax,” she grumbled and hopped inside the awaiting SUV, feeling the large, annoying, transparent deity sneak in one final grope of her ass as he slid in beside her.

The moment the door closed, she swung with her hand, and it landed with a loud slap.

“Ouch!” Máax hollered. “What the infernum was that for?”

Ashli rubbed her stinging palm. “Don’t ever do that again, you giant perv!”

“What? My hand slipped.”

“Oh, right. Just like it slipped when I was talking to Fernando?” she argued.

“I was simply trying to get your attention,” he grumbled. “You were spending too much time with that male.”

“That was what? A minute?” Ashli responded.

“Sir?” the driver asked. He was another large man, dressed in a black suit and wearing dark glasses. A man who appeared to be his fashion twin sat in the passenger seat.

“Timothy, did you pick up her things from her house?” Máax asked, ignoring her question.

“Yes, sir,” the driver replied.

“And everything else is ready?”

“As you instructed, sir.”

“Good. Let’s go,” Máax said.

Ashli wasn’t going to let him off the hook; she didn’t appreciate him trying to control her. “Máax, answer me. What do you mean, ‘too much time’?”

“A figure of speech, Ashli. My observations were not based on physical time,” he clarified.

“Then what?” she asked.

Long pause. “I simply do not approve of how he looks at you.”

Was he jealous? Of Fernando? Seriously? The thought made her both excited and annoyed. In any case, given what he’d said earlier, his possessiveness was over-the-top hypocritical. “That’s no excuse. Keep your hands off my ass.”

“My ass,” he retorted.

“What?” She turned her head toward the sound of his voice.

“Technically, you are my mate. That makes it mine.”

She rolled her eyes. How dare he! First she was too lowly for him, and now she belonged to him?

“Oh, really?” she asked. “Because if I were to follow your logic, then I could argue that you are my mate, and therefore, your hand belongs to me. In which case, as owner of your hand, I forbid your hand from touching my ass.” She paused. “Or your…” Did gods actually pleasure themselves?

Well, he may be a god, but he’s also male.

“I forbid your hand from ever touching your mandy bar,” she said smugly.

“Mandy bar?” he questioned.

Quiet chuckles erupted from the men in the front. She ignored them.

“Ugh! Yes. Your… you know.” She flashed a glance down at the black leather seat to where his groin would be.

Máax and the men burst out laughing.

“You are quite amusing.” Máax chuckled. “I believe it is called a penis. Can you not say the word?”

She narrowed her eyes. “Well—I-I… I can say it. Penis. There. I said it!”

He continued laughing to himself. “Mandy bar.” He sighed with one last chuckle.

She swatted his arm. “Oh, stop it. My mother didn’t raise me to be vulgar.”

“Very well. But if you are going to give mine a name, it should be a shlong-a-saurus or a dong-zilla, not man-dee-bar.”

The men began to roar.

She gasped with disbelief. “Wha—Ohmygod.” He was so full of himself. “I’m sure your ka-junk-a-junk is more like a gherkin-saurus or willy-pop.”

More roaring from the front seat.

“Really now?” he replied, then grabbed her hand, slapped it right over his groin.

“Jesus.” She snapped her hand back from the colossal, dormant anaconda between his legs. “You didn’t have to go there.”

“Oh, but I did,” he said smugly. “When it comes to such important matters, I want there being no doubt in your mind of my superiority.” He leaned in and whispered in her ear, “All eleven inches of it.”

“Eleven inches?” she whispered. She had to admit, that was impressive. Not that she’d let him know it. Or know about the mental image that suddenly popped in her mind of them lying na**d in bed together, him slowly sliding himself between her legs.

Away, lusty thoughts! Away!

“Too bad,” she said in a shaky voice filled with false conviction, “you’re creepy and invisible. Must be frustrating when women scream and run the other way.”

The men stopped laughing, and there was a long silence.

“You, Ashli, are the only woman I’ve ever chased or had any interest in chasing,” he said in a very cold tone.

Why had he said that? Did he really mean it? She was the only one?

She suddenly felt twisted inside. Like she was somehow special.

Wait! He completely treated you like dirt. Now he’s flattering you a little, and you’re ready to jump on him?

“Well,” she said, “too bad then that you’ll never catch me; I happen to run very fast. And for the record, though I don’t date, I’m pretty sure I’d stay away from any guy who thinks I’m inferior to a pile of poop.”

Máax went silent again for several moments. “Yes. Well, that was uncalled for, and I’m sorry for saying it. But I assure you, it was only an attempt on my part to convince myself to stop…” His voice trailed off.

“Stop what?”

“Wanting something I cannot catch,” he replied.

Ashli’s thoughts spun in dizzying, pathetic circles while the black SUV charged down the highway toward the Cancún airport. She couldn’t deny Máax’s words left her feeling more confused than ever. She didn’t want to like him, but she couldn’t help herself; there was simply something about him she found irresistible—besides that body. And that smell. And his voice. Ugh! He was downright magnetic.