All of You(19)
Author: Christina Lee

“I’m not sure I can ever get enough of you,” he murmured as he captured the skin at the hollow of my throat. “I know the feeling,” I whispered. He was lying on top of me with his bulge rubbing against my hip. I wanted badly to adjust myself so that I could feel the length of him against my underwear, which was becoming increasingly wet.

But the last time we were in this same position in my bed it had been too much for him. I didn’t want him to pull away from me again.

Bennett kissed my forehead, and then my nose. He looked deeply into my eyes, and my entire body tingled in response. He thumbed the end of my T-shirt, and my breathing became shallow. “Take this off?”

I sat up and lifted the shirt over my head. I wasn’t wearing a bra, and I could feel my n**ples harden at his gaze. “Jesus, Avery. I’m not sure I’ve seen more perfect br**sts.” His hand brushed against my collarbone and along the top of my br**sts. “Is this okay?” he asked. I whimpered in response.

My stomach coiled with eagerness as he stroked his thumbs over my hard buds and then cupped my br**sts. He drew one into his mouth and swirled his tongue around my nipple. I arched my back toward him, urging him on. He sucked and licked before giving my other breast the same attention.

He nudged me onto my back and then hovered above me. “I’ve been dreaming about how you’d taste.” My breath lodged in the back of my throat.

He traced his fingers between my br**sts and down to my belly.

“But if you need me to stop, just say the word.” He met my eyes. “I will always stop, Avery.

Always. Do you believe me?”

I nodded. My breaths became ragged with need.

“Do you want me to stop right now?”

“No.” I exhaled a shaky breath. “Please, don’t stop.”

He kissed along my collarbone and then trailed his tongue down the center of my chest, stopping to flick it against my navel. “God, you smell good.”

He feathered kisses against my belly and along the edges of my underwear. I squirmed and panted, almost bursting from anticipation.

I’d never had a man revere my body like this. It was overwhelming.

Bennett planted one scorching kiss over my mound and I felt his hot breath through the thin cotton material. I gripped the bedsheets and moaned.

“Damn it, Bennett,” I panted. “How in the hell do you know exactly how to drive me insane?”

He trailed his tongue along my inner thigh. “I said I was a virgin, Avery. Not a saint.”

“Or even a monk, apparently,” I mumbled.

I felt him smile against my skin.

He thumbed the top of my underwear and dragged the material below my hip. I felt the cool breeze glide over my skin, but it did nothing to squelch the heat between my legs. Bennett licked and sucked the skin around my hipbone. “A tattoo would look sexy right here. And I’d be the only one to see it— when I did this.”

He yanked my panties down my thighs, and I gasped.

He dropped my underwear on the floor, and then his gaze caressed the area between my legs. I suddenly felt modest at his inspection of me. But also special and extremely aroused.

“You’re so beautiful, Avery.”

My pulse skyrocketed when his palms slid up my calves to push apart my knees. Silky strands of his hair skimmed my thighs as he settled between my legs.

His eyes fastened on mine as his mouth lingered above me. He was watching me, wanting to see how I responded to him.

And it was the sexiest damn thing.

His hot breath prickled my skin right before I felt the broad stroke of his wet tongue.

“Oh fuck,” I panted as his fingers curled around my hips.

Eyes glued to mine, he licked me again, slow and gentle, as my legs trembled beneath him.

Then he closed his lips around me and sucked hard. My eyes rolled back in my head as I breathed out his name.

“Jesus, Avery, you taste good.” I felt his deep groan vibrate against my skin, and the familiar tension of an orgasm pulsed low in my belly.

He slipped a finger inside me as he expertly used his tongue and mouth to lick and suck the tiny bundle of nerves at my epicenter.

My fingers were fisted in his hair, and I was close to losing myself.

Still, something held me back. It was so difficult to completely relinquish control. Letting go for Bennett would mean something different now. Because after last night, we’d become something different. Something real.

“I want you to trust me.” Bennett’s finger slid from inside of me and his other hand released hold of my thigh.

With his mouth still on me, he reached for my hands, which were now tangled in the sheets. He laced his fingers with mine and held on tight.

“Come for me, baby.” Then his tongue and mouth became relentless—lapping between my slick folds and sucking with the right amount of pressure.

Pleasure and heat built to an overwhelming intensity in my body. “Oh God, Bennett, don’t stop.” I squeezed my eyes shut as color and light danced behind my eyelids and my whole world exploded into a million pieces.

He gripped my hands and his mouth held steady as I shivered and shook and called out his name.

Then he pulled me into his arms and stroked my hair. “Thank you.”

My skin felt slick and my voice was raspy. “For what?” “For being vulnerable in front of me.”

Chapter Nineteen

Bennett and I saw each other regularly the next couple of weeks. We hung out at the corner bar for drinks, met at the campus coffee shop between classes, and ordered takeout while we studied together.

We agreed not to get in the habit of sleeping in each other’s beds. Though I was willing to give this trust thing a try, I wasn’t ready to enfold myself in his life completely.

One thing was for certain—it was hard to leave Bennett after a marathon make-out session on my couch or at his door. I’d want to ask him to stay and fall asleep with me, but I held myself back. And I could tell he did as well.

When I had let him go down on me the other night, it was the most intense orgasm I’d ever experienced. And though I had come during sex with other men, it was just a means to an end for me. So letting go and trusting him on a whole different level—one where emotions were involved—had been intense and heady and satisfying.

But I was scared of losing myself completely in Bennett. And signs of it were already showing.

Beginning with the night of the almost-break-in at my window. Not that it was Bennett’s fault. The thought of allowing someone to infiltrate my life made me feel defenseless. It was terrifying and sweet and exasperating all at the same time.

Rob had text me twice that week, and I decided to be honest with him. I told him I’d met someone and was giving it a chance. Bennett and I never said we were exclusive, but there was an unspoken understanding there. Besides, seeing any hurt or jealousy in his eyes would have been painful. Rob: Is this because of that guy—your neighbor?

Me: Really none of your business. Why do you ask? Rob: Could tell something’s been different about you lately.

Me: Guess it’s just time to move on, Rob.

Rob: Sure, understood. One question, though? If I had wanted more, would it have made a difference?

Whoa, what? Rob had never given me that impression. I’d thought we had a clear and mutual understanding. Part of me felt awful. He was a decent guy. Maybe he was searching for something— someone—more meaningful, too. Not that I was actually ever searching.

But I didn’t want to lead him on. So I needed to be completely up front with him. Me: Geez Rob . . . I’m sorry. I don’t know what to say. The honest truth is . . . probably not.

Rob: That’s cool. Take care, Avery. You know where to find me.

I could almost hear the disappointment resonating from his words, and as I sat staring at our exchanged dialogue, I was filled with a hollow regret.

Adam and his girlfriend were coming up for the weekend. I got Saturday off work and made some casual dinner plans for us. I wasn’t sure if I was ready to introduce Bennett to my family, but as the weekend drew nearer, I realized that I wanted him there.

Bennett: What time is your brother coming in?

Me: Noon. Want to grab dinner with us at that Mexican restaurant on First?

Bennett: Sounds good. See you later.

Adam and Andrea made a cute couple. The way my brother doted on her had me a bit worried until I saw that she was just as sweet on him. I drove them around the university campus, since both were considering applying there. I showed them the bookstore and the library, the admissions office, and the buildings in which most of my nursing classes were located.

We parked in the square near the campus and walked to all the little shops. The day was beautiful, the leaves were in full color, and Andrea admired how quaint the town was.

Ella met us for lunch at the campus coffee shop. They had a great selection of soups and sandwiches. She’d always loved Adam and wanted to catch up with him. She also wanted to meet his new girlfriend and give her approval.

She was almost as protective of Adam as I was. And I understood why. After what had happened to her brother, I didn’t question her motives. Her love for and loyalty to Adam. It was a primitive response to the hell she and her family had been put through.

“Adam,” Ella squealed. “Get over here and give me a hug.”

Adam grinned and introduced her to Andrea.

“I love your hair,” Andrea said, reaching out to touch Ella’s waves. “I try to get mine that wavy, but it never works.”

“I like her already,” Ella said, nudging Adam’s shoulder.

We stood in front of the coffee shop, and I saw a line forming at the counter. “Let’s grab seats before they fill up.”

I plopped my coat down on a chair to reserve a table in the back corner and then joined the three of them in line. Adam and Ella were busy catching up, and Andrea asked me what sandwiches were good.

“The turkey bacon one is probably my favorite, but the others are good, too,” I said. “So your parents were okay with you coming up this weekend?”

“Totally,” she said. “They adore Adam. He’s over at our house a lot. Especially . . . if your mom has company on the weekends.”

My stomach tightened with that familiar tension. “How often is that happening lately? Be honest with me.”

“Maybe once a month.”

At least the broad had slowed down some since I left.

“Andrea, do me a favor. Make sure to stay away on those weekends?” I knew Adam was protective of her, but still I worried.

“Adam doesn’t let me come over on weekends, actually,” she said, her cheeks growing rosy. “I get why he insists.”

God, I was so proud of my brother. I pulled him into a hug from behind and stood on tiptoes to kiss his cheek.

“What was that for?” he said.

“Just because I love you.” I messed his hair.

He shrugged and turned back to Ella. They were discussing Ella’s other brother, who was gearing up for basketball season with Adam.

“My parents were thrilled we were coming to see the campus,” Andrea said. “And since they knew we were staying with you, they were cool with it.”

I bit my fingernail. “Would they be cool with it if they knew I only had one air mattress for you guys to share?”

Andrea blushed a harsh shade of crimson. “You don’t have to worry about us, Avery. We would never—”

“Oh gosh, Andrea, I didn’t mean it like that,” I said, gripping her shoulder. “I just meant . . . a good big sister would have planned that part more carefully. But I trust you guys to behave yourselves at my house.”

There was that word again—trust. If they’d only known what I did back in high school. No sexcapades until college, but plenty of making out—on my terms—to rid my mind of Gavin and Tim.

“I’m so not worried about it.”

We were next up to place our orders, and I treated everybody to lunch.

I took bites of my turkey bacon sandwich while Ella talked about her psychology classes. Andrea was interested in social work as her major and also wanted to know about dorm life.

I had never experienced the dorms like Ella. I’d commuted to campus from my teeny efficiency apartment close to home so I could keep my eye on Adam. I only felt comfortable moving farther away when Adam had turned into a six-foot-two, two-hundred-pound hulking high school junior.

“Look who’s here,” Ella said between bites of her sandwich. “It’s Avery’s new boyfriend.”

My head jerked around. Bennett was clear across the other side of the room with Nate and two girls. Bennett’s and Nate’s backs were to us, giving me a clear view of their company. The girl nearest Bennett had a pixie cut with flowery tattoos up and down both arms and a nose ring. The other girl leaned over a book close to Nate, black hair spilling over her shoulder as they talked and laughed.

Bennett was having an animated conversation with tattoo girl, too. Pretty tattoo girl. Maybe he had more in common with her than with someone like me. A ball of jealousy lodged in my throat, and I cleared it several times.

When I turned my attention back to our table, I realized no one was speaking. Adam was staring at me, his mouth slightly ajar. “You have a boyfriend?”

“No,” I said, shaking my head a little too forcefully. “Just someone I’m getting to know. I actually invited Bennett out to dinner with us tonight.”

Although now I wanted to rescind my invitation, pronto.

“Bitch, you were so shooting daggers at tattoo girl just now,” Ella said.

“I was not,” I said through gritted teeth. “Besides, it’s not like we’re exclusive or anything. You know I wouldn’t want that.”

Ella twisted her bottom lip and Adam still studied me intently.

“What?” I barked at him.

“I . . . I just haven’t seen you like this,” he said. “In a long time.”