Awaken Me Darkly (Alien Huntress #1)(21)
Author: Gena Showalter

Damn it, how had this happened? Who had controlled Isabel’s mind? Not Lilla, she’d been deep in stun. That left…no one.

I must have missed subtle details in my vision. God knows I’d gotten some of them wrong. I’d had the human and the alien in the wrong places, thinking a human killed Dallas. How could I have known it would be a humanoid alien? I didn’t know what species Isabel had been, I just knew she couldn’t be Hudson’s daughter, as reports claimed.

“How could this have happened?” I whispered brokenly.

“Go home, Mia,” a masculine voice said from behind me. Jack.

I didn’t turn to face him. “I can’t leave. I won’t leave. You know me better than that.”

He sighed. “You’re no good to me like this. No good to him.”

“Then fire me.”

“Like hell.”

“I just…I can’t leave him. He needs me. He has no one else.”

Jack paused a moment, and I knew what was rolling around inside his mind. Always business first with Jack. “Want me to reassign your cases?” he asked. “Give you a week or two off?”

“What about Steele?” I asked, though I was unable to summon true curiosity.

“I’ll put Ghost and Kittie in charge. They’ll get the job done.”

With those few words, Jack sparked the first stirring of ire within me. He’d made it sound as if I couldn’t get the job done. “That case is mine,” I said with a trace of bitterness. Still, I didn’t spare him a glance. “I’ll finish it.”

“No need. It’s almost wrapped. Lilla’s in custody, and once she’s released from stun, I’m sending Kittie inside her cell. Hopefully, we’ll know where the missing men are by evening.”

I gazed past the bed, past the far window, my eyes listless as swaying trees and glistening pavement came into view. “You promised me no one would talk to her without my permission.”

“That was before.”

“You’re making a big mistake. If you allow Kittie near her, you can kiss Lilla good-bye. She’ll be gone before you can pull your head out of your ass. Besides, I doubt she knows where the missing men are.”

“You’re saying she’s innocent?” he choked.

“Not innocent.” I pushed out a breath. “Just not the mastermind behind the murder or the abductions.”

His brows winged up. “And you think this because?”

“She lives by her emotions, doesn’t think things through. Steele’s murder was emotionless, thought out to the last detail.”

“Mia—” he said, then stopped himself. He uttered another sigh. “If you want to close this case,” he said, “I’ll let you. If you want to interrogate Lilla, I’ll let you do that, too. But you gotta get some rest.”

“Losing faith in me, Jack?” I asked with a humorless chuckle. My head arched back, and I blinked up at the sterile, white ceiling. I didn’t blame him. I’d lost faith in myself.

“No. Never,” he said, shoving his hand into his coat pocket. “There’s no one I trust more than you. Hell, you’ve never let me down.”

“That’s not true. I let you down last night. I let everyone down. Dallas wouldn’t be here if I’d acted more quickly.”

“Would you listen to yourself?” Jack scoffed. “That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. You didn’t know this was going to happen. Dallas made his own choice, and God Himself couldn’t have stopped him from protecting you.”

“You’re wrong. I could have stopped him.” I pounded a fist onto the bed. “I could have kept him unconscious until morning, unable to work. I could have postponed the hunt. I could have made him wait for me at Trollie’s while I spoke to Ghost.”

So many things I could have and should have done differently. I’d known, damn it. I’d known he was in danger, and still I hadn’t protected him.

“Mia,” Jack said softly. “You’re not thinking clearly right now. You haven’t slept in two nights. You gotta get some rest,” he repeated.

I turned my head, and our gazes locked. His cheeks were pale, the perpetual red glow gone. His flannel shirt hung loosely over his shoulders like he’d lost a few pounds. “I’m not a child, Jack.”

“Your eyes are red,” he continued, “your skin is colorless. Honestly, you look like shit.”

“Thanks for the compliment, but I’m fine,” I said, though I knew he was right. My mind was foggy, filled with thick morning dew I just couldn’t seem to penetrate. My eyelids felt heavy, my body weak and shaky.

“You’re about to collapse. I’m ordering you to go home.”

“Fuck your orders.” I couldn’t summon the strength to yell, so my words emerged as a small, hollow whisper. Surprisingly, though, my ire grew a bit more. I pivoted back to bed. “Dallas needs me.”

I didn’t hear Jack approach, but suddenly he stood beside me, his hand on my shoulder. “Staying isn’t going to make him live.”

“At least—” I gulped. “At least he won’t die alone.” God, that hurt so much to say. I almost screamed then, screamed at God, at Jack, at the doctors who couldn’t help this once vivacious man. I had to bite my cheek to keep the sound inside me; I bit until the metallic tang of blood filled my mouth.

Jack gave my shoulder a squeeze. “He was a good man. One of the best. I already miss him.”

Shut up, shut up, shut up!my mind shouted. I covered my ears to block Jack’s voice. He was talking about Dallas as if he were already dead.

Perhaps he was.

I focused on Dallas’s face, so pale, so withdrawn. There truly was no hope for survival.

I couldn’t say those words, however, so I said, “He isn’t dead yet.”

“No, but he’ll need a miracle to survive.” He gave my shoulder another squeeze. “It’s amazing how quickly a man’s life can change, isn’t it? A blink of an eye. A snap of fingers.” He paused. “A heartbeat.”

One of his tears splashed onto my palm. I watched as the clear liquid slipped through my fingers. I’d never seen this strong man cry before. And knowing his own emotions mirrored my own…A tremor racked my spine. He had found some sort of release, yet I had none. My emotions were trapped inside me.

I scrubbed a hand down my face, resisting the urge to bang my head against the bed rail. Maybe physical pain would eclipse my emotional pain.