Beautiful Disaster

I can only guess what Nate must be thinking of all this while he’s following our info dump screaming match with a look on his face as if he had swallowed a live toad, but then again the only one seemingly amused by this is Rose. At least my mother hasn’t gotten herself a refill yet, and I don’t even bother to check how my father is reacting – the displeasure of having to witness how his son is once again openly admitting his frivolous lifestyle is coming off him in waves.

Jazz doesn’t say anything to Alice’s claim but I can see how much the words hurt him, and the implication that I’m no better than her when she doesn’t seem to give a shit about the damage she’s causing is what finally makes me snap. Coming to my feet I lean across the table, using every inch of my height to be physically imposing, as I try to stare Alice down.

"You know what, I’m done with hearing your excuses! Go on living in your dream world where you are perfect and everyone else is out to either get you or make your life miserable! But have you ever asked yourself why you can’t keep anyone close to you for an extended amount of time? Or am I wrong that the longest you’ve ever had a relationship with anyone besides Jazz was numbered in weeks? That none of your friends from high school or college or your previous job even send you a birthday message on facebook? Have you ever considered that maybe, just maybe, it’s not everyone else but you who’s so f**ked up that people don’t want to deal with you any more?"

I hear my mother gasp from somewhere to my right but do my best to ignore her, instead turn away from the stone-faced mask Alice’s features have turned into to Nate, offering him a wry grin and a snort.

"Good luck, buddy, trust me when I tell you that you’ll be the next in a long, long line who knows better than to want to be anywhere near her. Unless it’s your thing to hang out with a delusional, manipulative, frigid bitch who gets off on making everyone around her feel like shit."

I don’t even get to gloat at her as the moment I fall silent my mother utters a truly scandalized, "Edward!" while my father gets up, nearly toppling over the chair behind him.

"I will not have this in my house! You will take your accusations back and apologize to Alice, or -"

"Or what?" I sneer, turning to face him now. "You’ll kick me out? You’ll disown me? Be my guest, I really don’t want to be part of a family that backs liars and cheaters who are doing everything possible to ruin everyone else’s life!"

The hate and disgust I see in his face is making my physically ill, but before I can say more, Bella is in front of me, pushing me bodily back from the table and keeping herself like a shield between me and pretty much everyone else. The look she sends me is pleading but her voice is still calm, almost neutral when she touches my arm.

"Come, let’s go home."

No, "This is enough!" or, "Why do you even bother!", just those four simple words, but they sum up everything that needs to be said. I don’t even say good-bye to anyone, just step around her and angle towards the front door, with her at my heels after she thanks my mother for the food – though pointedly not the company – and wishes everyone Happy Thanksgiving. I can’t say if Jazz does the same or not, but I’ve barely shrugged into my jacket when they both join me at the front porch.

My anger is draining from me uncharacteristically fast, leaving me feeling hollow inside as I pivot the streets back to our condo. Neither of them speaks a single word on the whole way there but Bella keeps her hand on my thigh, a silent token of support that I appreciate more than I can say.

Once home Bella forgoes her usual offer of making coffee, and the three of us sink down on the sofa, misery personified with Bella in the middle of me and Jazz curled around her. My very soul seems to hurt when I realize that he’s crying against her shoulder, but there’s nothing I feel I can say or do to help, so I leave her to comfort him while I just stare at the ceiling.

"That went well," Bella finally breaks the silence after Jazz has gone quiet for a while, her tone dry yet full of desolation. At my grunt she turns her head and looks at me, then offers me a small smile. "No one called me a slut for once. You have to admit, that is some sort of improvement."

I really don’t know what to respond, but I’m not happy when the door bells rings, effectively keeping me from finding a good come-back. I’m not yet done trying to ignore it when it goes off again, followed by a quick knock on the door.

"Shall I get that?" Bella offers, but I shake my head, extracting myself from her grudgingly.

I can feel both her and Jasper’s gaze between my shoulder blades as I trudge over to the door, absentmindedly running my hand through my hair that is a hopeless case now that Bella has been running her fingers through it for a long while.

I’m not even that surprised when I open the door and find myself confronted with a slight figure, bearing a stack of microwave boxes in her arms.

"Edward, can we talk?"

Chapter 29

I feel my whole body tense with apprehension, but force my voice to remain civil as I answer with a question on my own.

"Why are you here, mom?"

She opens her mouth as if to offer one of her cutting, ironic answers, but then closes it again as she thinks better of that.

"I came here to talk to you, that’s all. I also bring this meager offering of food, if that helps make me appear less threatening."

I feel like smiling despite the feeling of unease still gripping me, then nod.

"Sure, do you want to come in?"

"If you want me to, but why don’t we take a walk in the park, like we used to when you were in kindergarten? I even brought some stale bread for the ducks," she adds with a gentle smile.

It’s obvious that she’s trying to pacify me – whether I need to be pacified or not – and before I can answer Bella slips in beside me, one arm slung across my lower back to keep herself anchored there beside me. She greets my mother with a sad but nevertheless nice smile, the gesture getting eerily mirrored, before my mom wordlessly hands the boxes to her.

"Guess I’ll grab my coat then," I say once Bella has walked into the kitchen to store the food in the freezer. Glancing at the clock of the microwave I decide that I might as well walk to the hospital once we’re done talking, seeing as I only have another hour until my shift starts.

Hugging Bella from behind I kiss her good-bye, then squeeze Jazz’s shoulder on my way back to the door. When I join my mother outside I still can’t shake the bad feeling off that she’s going to scold me for acting like a total jackass any moment now, but when we have to wait for the elevator, she turns to me and frowns.

"I’m not here because of what you said before you stormed out, we don’t even have to breach that subject at all. Living with your father for more than half of my life has made me accustomed to ignoring everything that could be even slightly uncomfortable. I’m here because I think that this talk is long overdue, and with what happened today, well, let’s just say I feel the need to tell my son how proud I am of the man he has become."

The arriving elevator car keeps me from having to find an answer to that in my stunned state, and we both don’t say a word for the short walk over to the park, but it’s no longer the uncomfortable silence from before in the hallway. During the day it has become increasingly warmer, thawing the last bits of snow to gray slush. Not many people are outside under the overcast sky, leaving us to have our talk in comfortable privacy.

"Did you just say that to lull me into complacency, or do you really think that?"

She smiles at the question, but I don’t have to explain what I mean.