Beautiful Disaster

I still rouse a few times that night with a hard-on, but keep myself from waking Bella to take care of it, seeing as she’ll be doing that and nothing else soon. By the time Jazz has to get up I feel ready to jump both of them anyway, but instead I follow Jazz into the shower and jerk him off while he makes fun of my perpetual horniness. Sadly, we don’t have enough time that I can bend him over the sink and f**k that smirk right out of him, but one can’t have everything, right?

Before I drive Jazz to the airport, I crawl back onto the bed until I’m hunched over Bella who is still dozing groggily, nudging my nose against the side of her neck until I hear her breath hitch. It’s a clear sign she’s awake, but still pretending to be asleep. Grinning deviously I kiss her shoulder, then whisper in her ear; I can’t see her face as it’s still buried in the pillow, but I don’t really need to.

"The moment I’m back from dropping Jazz off, the game’s on. I expect to find you kneeling in the living room, naked and ready for me. And, by default, for the next day you’re not allowed to look at me or speak to me unless I give you permission first or ask you something. Any hint of defiance on your side will be punished swiftly and harshly, so you better be on your best behavior as my obedient slave."

Even though she still keeps up the sleeping act I feel her body tense underneath me, and I chuckle softly when she pushes her ass back against me so that it is rubbing my crotch through the thick duvet.

"There’s a list in the night stand with a few more things I’ve come up with that I would love to include. Check off what you’re okay with, strike through what you’re not. If you forget or are too lazy for that, I will take that as your silent submission and do it all anyway. Consider this your last choice until Friday morning whether you look at it or not."

I kiss her shoulder lovingly before I crawl back off the bed, getting a low, contented hum in return from her. I don’t really expect her to balk at any of my ideas, but three of them are still on her list of soft limits although I think she’s outgrown her hesitancy to try. I’m curious whether she will protest –

or leave the list untouched and herself none the wiser about what I have in store for her. As her safewords are still active whatever we do, I’m not concerned about pushing her that one step too far – she’ll let me know if I need to back off, or if she’s ready to take the plunge.

Kissing Jazz good-bye at the airport leaves me strangely melancholic, even though I know that he will be back again in thirty hours. Yet the thought of what is to come soon has me in a good mood. On the way home I pick up fresh bagels and muffins for breakfast – or whenever we’ll actually get to eat them.

As expected, I find Bella kneeling on the living room floor upon my return, but she’s not as relaxed as I’m used to from the playroom. Her usual air of serenity is replaced by a certain jumpiness, and I see her twitch at least twice in the minute I take to just stand by the door and watch her. She doesn’t turn her head in my direction, doesn’t even look up from the spot on the floor in front of her spread knees. She’s following my directions to the letter – but I can’t say that I feel the satisfaction or rush I expected to, and she doesn’t appear to, either.

Just to screw with her before we get to any actual f**king, I take my time undressing, then flop down on the couch in only my underwear and t-shirt to watch the morning news. Being ignored like that must be driving her crazy, and I deliberately build on that when I idly push my hand into my boxers and start to stroke my cock. I’m hard in no time, and the knowledge that she must be watching me stealthily is only adding to it, but I still don’t feel the thrill I’ve been anticipating for days.

Getting tired of my own games quickly, I lose my patience and walk over to where she is still kneeling, head down and hands behind her back, but not even when she sucks me off at my command does my irritation fade. While she tries hard to do her best – which her being her, on her knees and all that, isn’t that hard to accomplish – it just isn’t what I yearn for, which I have to admit to myself when I come down the back of her throat.

Because I’m pensive, and quite frankly a little lost in my own thoughts, I keep my c**k there a little too long until she starts to gag, and it’s only then that I realize what is missing. As close as this is to what most people probably think of as the perfect scene, it just isn’t us. And if I’ve learned anything since hooking up with Bella, it is the fact that just because everyone sees something as good doesn’t mean it’s right for us.

A week of planning is suddenly turned upside-down. I decide to take a little time to re-evaluate, so I leave Bella kneeling where she is and go upstairs.

In passing I check the nightstand, and not surprisingly find my notes untouched. The fact that she wants to be unaware just plays into my hands, and I head back into the playroom to make sure I have everything in stock for my new, impromptu plan.

I can’t really change all that much about what I’ve organized for tonight, but until then I can do with her whatever I want – and the fact that I don’t have to adhere to my own script is weirdly liberating. Before I go downstairs again I pause, still a little uncertain about whether she’ll appreciate the change or not. I remember all too clearly that it was her express wish to submit to me completely today, but she can still do that later – and it’s not like I will leave her much choice but to bow to my will, one way or another, before we go out to dinner.

My c**k is particularly pleased by the new ideas forming in my head, but I do my best to will away my hard-on as I can’t use it right now. Donning a faded pair of jeans I quickly rifle through Bella’s closet, coming up with some old cotton panties and bra I haven’t seen on her except for when we’ve neglected to do the laundry, and an old sundress she has set aside to donate to Goodwill.

The fact that she doesn’t even frown when I drop the clothes in front of her a minute later is a testament to her commitment to be the perfect sub today, but it does weird me out a little more about my initial plan. This just isn’t us. As much as I want to be the one to make her scream at the top of her lungs, this meekness is simply unnerving.

"Dress."

She gets up quickly and puts on the clothes without question, with not a single look in my direction, then sinks back onto her knees, waiting. I watch her for a full minute, itching to jump into action and trying to find a reason to scold her, but of course there is none. She’s the image of total submissiveness today, and the more I watch her, the more it grates on my nerves.

Being the first to break, I walk around her and crouch down at her back, then grab her breast and dig my fingers into it while I push my other hand into her panties. She’s wet already but not as drenched as I want her to be before we start, confirming that just like me, this isn’t really pushing all her buttons the way it would if this really was our perfect scene. Leaning in I lick along the side of her neck, then gently bite into her ear lobe before I whisper to her, grinning at the light shiver I feel running through her body.

"You are such a good girl today, but that’s utterly boring. I think I need a change of plan."

I’m strangely happy to get my first real reaction out of her when I hear her breath hitch and feel her spine straighten, but her lack of a verbal acknowledgement prompts me to bite down on her shoulder.

"You’ll have time enough to be my meek little slave later when you’re too exhausted to put up a fight anymore, but not right now."

Even without being able to see her face I can tell that she’s conflicted – she knows I’m not above making her mess up deliberately so I have a good enough reason to punish her, but my words must sound as tantalizing to her as they are to me – now it’s up to her to decide how to act. While she takes her time with that I switch my grip on her tit, and when I pinch her nipple hard, her cry seems to drag her out of her indecision.