Born of Silence (The League Gen 1 #4)(25)
Author: Sherrilyn Kenyon

She couldn’t meet any of their gazes as she remembered the extremely intimate moment that hadn’t ended well for either of them. “He accidentally slipped.”

It was Syn’s turn to laugh at her until he paused next to a bloody hand towel that Darling had tossed at the door leading to her room last night. His humor died instantly as he bent over to pick up and examine the saturated cloth. “How bad was he hurt?”

Fury darkened her brow, but it wasn’t at them. Her anger was reserved for the members of her team. “That’s from a nosebleed.”

Syn cursed. “Are they getting worse?”

“It’s hard to say,” she answered honestly. “Sometimes it’s just a little blood for a few minutes, and others…” She gestured toward the towel in his hand. “That one was severe.”

“Any idea what triggered it?”

“No. They’re random. That one started right after he’d dozed off.”

Syn dropped the towel in the trash. “What about pain? Does his head hurt with them?”

“Sometimes. But it’s not too bad, so I’m not sure if it’s from the nosebleeds or…” She caught herself before she mentioned his eyesight. Syn obviously knew about it, but she wasn’t sure if Hauk knew. “Something else.”

Syn nodded. “Anything else I should know about?”

Zarya hesitated as she remembered the nasty incident Darling had the day before. “I probably shouldn’t say anything, but I don’t know if he will, and it is something that concerns me.”

“What?”

She bit her lip as she glanced to Hauk.

Hauk winked at her. “You can speak freely, little sister. Don’t worry. I’m well aware of his current injuries and limitations. He’s been my wingman for a long time, and when you put your life into the hands of others, you don’t keep secrets. We know everything about each other.”

Not entirely true. Darling had never told them he was heterosexual, but she didn’t want to remind them of that.

She glanced back at Syn. “He has a lot of pain in the bathroom. He won’t let me check on him and he keeps the door locked whenever he goes. But I know it’s bad. It takes him a long time, and when he comes out, he’s always shaking and pale. Usually clammy, too. And very weak. It takes him at least half an hour before he’s moving freely again.”

Sadness darkened Syn’s eyes. “That unfortunately isn’t going to change. They messed him up really good internally. We’re damn lucky to still have him with us.” He swept his gaze around the tattered room, then flashed a wicked, lopsided grin at her. “But at least the front plumbing seems to be in excellent working condition. I’m sure that’s a relief to him.”

Those words mortified her. She wanted to crawl under something and hide.

Fortunately, Darling finally came out of the bathroom, wearing nothing but a towel around his lean hips. He rubbed a second one against his damp hair. “I see you two met Zarya. Did they introduce themselves to you, love?”

“They did, indeed.” She looked up at Darling as he paused by her side. “I’ll leave you alone to talk in private. Do you want me to order you something to eat?”

His eyes glowing with warmth, Darling gave her an evil grin that rivaled Syn’s. “I had my breakfast already.” Wrapping one possessive arm around her, he leaned down and gave her a kiss that instantly set her on fire.

Maris cleared his throat. “Should we come back at a later time?”

Ignoring the question, Darling pulled away and met Maris’s arched brow. “Sweetie, will you please make sure she gets something to eat for me? I know her stomach was growling earlier.”

“Absolutely. We’ll be next door if you need us.” When Maris went to pick her up to carry her, she stopped him.

“My ankle’s better. I’m not even wrapping it now.”

He looked to Darling for a confirmation.

“You can argue with her if you want. I always lose. Maybe you’ll have better luck. I’m pretty sure she likes you better anyway.”

Maris laughed, then offered her his arm. “Come, my lady. Let’s go gossip.”

Darling waited until Maris had closed the door to Zarya’s room before he faced his friends. He draped his towel over his shoulder.

Hauk kept opening and closing his mouth like a fish out of water. “I am so confused. That was a woman, right?”

“Yes.”

Syn scratched at his ear. “The same woman who was in the room with you when we rescued you? The leader of the Resistance that tortured the hell out of you? And you’re paying for her sister to be educated?”

“Again, yes, yes, and yes.”

Hauk turned around slowly, looking at the mess in the room. “But… you’re gay.”

Darling snorted. “Apparently, I’m not.”

“Since when?” Syn asked.

“Birth.”

Grimacing, Hauk pressed his hand against his temple as if trying to make sense out of it all was giving him a vicious headache. “You are totally screwing with my head, and you’re doing it on purpose, aren’t you?”

“No,” Darling said, sobering. “It’s really a long story, and I don’t feel like getting into it right now.” He had something much more important to think about.

He faced Syn. “What I want to know is if you can fix this,” he gestured at his face. “And how long will it take to make me look human again?”

Syn let out a slow breath. “You want the bad news or the worse news?”

12

Finishing up her breakfast, Zarya kept glancing back at Maris who watched her closely as if she was some kind of experiment that had gone horribly awry. Dressed in an elegant gold jacquard jacket, he stood with one foot toward the door, ready to bolt for some reason. “What’s wrong?”

He widened his eyes innocently. “Not a thing.”

Yeah, right. She wasn’t about to believe that given his strange behavior. Quirking a brow at him, she placed her napkin next to her plate. “Then what’s with that look?”

Blinking with feigned innocence, he postured behind the padded chair next to hers. “What look?”

She waited until he did it again. “That one.”

He visibly cringed, then made an exaggerated twist of his hand. “Uh… well… I’m trying to think of a way to broach an uncomfortable topic with you.”

She would much rather have the truth, plain and simple. “Just spit it out, Mari. I can’t stand games. Whatever it is, I assure you, I can handle it.”

He chewed his bottom lip. Something that made her even more trepidatious. How bad could it be?

“You sure you’re ready for this?” he asked hesitantly.

Not really, but…“Absolutely. Hit me.”

“All right then.” He spoke in a tone that made the knot in her stomach tighten even more. He pulled the chair out from the table and finally sat down. Still, he hesitated as he toyed with a bit of lace that fell from his gold sleeve. “I’m sure you’re aware of the fact that when you’re hav**g s*x you’re a screamer, right?”

Now it was her turn to cringe as a nasty suspicion went through her.

Please, please let me be wrong…

“You heard us?” she whispered in horror.

“Oh honey…” He placed his hand over hers comfortingly. “With the acoustics in this place… everyone has heard you. Even Syn and Hauk. That’s how I knew to wait almost an hour before I brought them up.”

She felt suddenly ill over that news. “What?”

Patting her hand, he nodded. “Three quarters of the staff is convinced he’s torturing you up here. None are willing to believe any man can have that kind of stamina or that any woman can have that many orgasms in a week, never mind a single day.”

She wanted to crawl into a hole and die over that. “Why didn’t you tell me this earlier?”

“Didn’t want to embarrass you. As you saw, I had to force myself to bring it up even now. I knew you’d feel awful about it.” He screwed his face up sympathetically. “But look on the bright side. I’m both jealous and impressed with Darling’s skills. I had no idea he had all that in him. Girl, you are so lucky. Trust me, for I have a lot of experience in this area, most men cannot do what he does to you for as long as he does it. If we could figure out what he’s eating or doing to cause that, we’d be even richer.”

Mortified to the core of her soul, she leaned forward on the table and covered her face with her hands. “I am so humiliated.”

“Don’t be. We should all be so lucky.”

“Could you please stop using that word?” Lucky kept ramming home how much she’d been screaming the last few days.

She was even hoarse from it.

Maris laughed. “Sorry, sweetie. Couldn’t resist. So, now that it’s just the two of us, how did Darling cut his hand last night?” He wagged his brows wickedly at her.

Of course, he’d ask her that. Could this day get any more mortifying?

But for some reason, she really didn’t mind talking to Maris about such intimate things. Somehow, he made the most embarrassing moment funny. “You know the tawdry murals in my bathroom?”

“Yes.”

“Some of those positions should come with warning labels.”

Maris laughed. “I would have paid to see that.”

“And I feel terrible about it,” she said, covering her plate with the silver dome, and pushing it aside. “I’m the one who slipped first. Darling got hurt because I’m a klutz.”

“Well, from where I was standing in there, he didn’t seem to mind.”

“That’s because he’s insane.”

“He is indeed.” Maris shooed her from her seat. “You go on and get your bath. I’ll take care of this for you.”

“Thank you, Mari.”

He squeezed her hand before she got up and made her way into the bathroom. Thank goodness someone had cleaned up the mess from last night’s “accident.” Aside from the broken glass, there had been blood everywhere—even on the walls.

Between cutting his hand and three nosebleeds, it was a miracle he hadn’t bled out.

But that wasn’t the most disconcerting part.

Gah, someone… a complete stranger… had come in here last night and seen what all we’d done…

And they’d most likely heard us in Darling’s room while they cleaned in here. Zarya covered her face with her hands as she realized what an insatiable slut she must look like to everyone. Never in her life had she been more horrified.

Well, you are legally his sex slave…

His very public mistress as the collar on her neck attested to. Still, that didn’t make her feel any better. In fact, it stung what little dignity she had left.

Why was it whenever Darling was around, all she could think about was touching him? Having him inside her? Of course, it didn’t help that whenever he was around her, he was a complete and utter horndog.

An exceptionally skilled horndog who knew how to set her on fire with nothing more than a quirk of his lips and a hot look that scorched her all the way through.

Even so, she’d had a life before this. Granted it was one focused on destroying his family, but she had been a well-respected military leader.

Now…

I’m a nobleman’s plaything.

No, not just a nobleman.

Darling’s. If it were anyone else, she wouldn’t stomach it.

But the very thought of him wrung her heart. His life had been so unnecessarily tragic and it shouldn’t have been like that for him. Any more than she should have had the tragedies that marked her past—the loss of her sisters, brother, and parents.

She couldn’t even think of them without wanting blood. Especially Gerrit. While they had fought every day of their lives together, he’d died protecting her from their enemies. She winced at the involuntary image of him expelling his last breath before he went limp in her arms while she begged him not to die on her.

Or the look on her father’s face when she’d told him how Geritt died…

A part of her had always wondered if he hadn’t wished it’d been she who’d died that day.

To this day, the guilt of surviving an attack that had killed her brother haunted her unmercifully.

Yeah, life sucks for us all.

The tragedy of her own past was what allowed her to understand Darling so well. And it was what made her recognize the saddest truth of all—those events, as horrific as they were, were what had forged the man she loved. Without them, he’d be like the rest of the spoiled aristocracy she and the Resistance had been trying to overthrow. Obnoxious. Selfish.

Revolting.

Instead, he was a man worth dying for.

Pulling his shirt over her head, she paused as she caught his scent on her skin. It sent a rush through her body. There was nothing she loved more than that warm, masculine scent.

All he had to do was look at her and she was his.

Strange how she seldom saw his scars now. It was only when he slept in her arms that they were apparent to her. While he was awake, she was more focused on his eyes and quirky expressions and personality. So much so, that she barely noticed his physical appearance.

She turned the water on and regulated it. A smile curved her lips as she remembered Darling pinning her to the wall last night while the water poured over them.

Maris was right. He did have more stamina than anyone she’d ever heard of. Even after he’d fallen and bled all over this shower, he’d been unwilling to stop long enough to bandage his hand. Instead, he’d laughed about it and told her not to fret.

“I can’t feel pain and pleasure at the same time. So I’d rather focus on the latter and deal with the former when I have to.”

The man was nuts.

Trying not to think about Darling’s lunacy, she stepped inside to bathe.

Zarya lost track of time while she savored the warmth of the water, and washed her hair. She was just about to finish when the door opened behind her.

Ready to fight, she turned to confront her intruder.

Darling stood there, ogling her.

“Oh gods…”—she covered her heart with her hand—“you scared me. You need to make some noise when you move.”

“Sorry.” He leaned down to kiss her bare shoulder.

“So what did the doctor say?” she asked him.

Darling straightened, his features deadly earnest. “I’m going in for surgery day after tomorrow.”

Her heart clenched at those words and the fear they gave her. Why would he choose to do it so soon? “Are you sure you want to do this?”

“Yes.”

Worry ran rampant through her. Maris had told her that Darling didn’t do well under anesthesia. His body barely tolerated it.

“Are you doing this for you or for me? Because you know I don’t care about it at all. I think you’re wonderful just like you are.”

His features stern, he pulled the washcloth from the bar, then turned her around so that he could wash her back. She didn’t know why he liked doing that, but it always felt really good.

He made small circles over her back, then trailed the cloth down her spine. “It’s not for you, Z. I mean… some of it is. I hate that this is what you have to look at when you hold me. I know how awful I appear and I applaud you for not cringing every time you see me. But honestly, I can’t take it anymore. I can’t stand to look at myself. Every time I catch my reflection against anything, I get severely sucker-punched over what I see there.”

Darling swallowed. “Believe me, I know removing the scars won’t fix the rest. I know they’re superficial. My voice and vision will still be screwed up. And the memories will always be there, stabbing me.” He flinched as if one of them hit him just from mentioning it. “But the scars bring it home and kick it down my throat. I’m ready to move forward, and I can’t do that when all I see is a victim every time I look in the mirror.”

She wanted to tell him he wasn’t a victim. That he’d never been a victim, but that wasn’t true and she knew it. The worst tragedy of all was when someone this strong, this capable, was held down and unable to protect himself while others abused and violated him. Like her with this damnable collar on. To know that you were fully capable of protecting yourself and to be unable to do so…

That was its own special kind of hell and it did untold damage to the psyche.

In her mind, she saw the photos Maris had shown her from Darling’s medical report.

Saw the way Darling had looked hanging in front of her that day when she’d thought he’d killed Kere. What had been done to him disgusted her. And she was an outsider to it. He’d been the one who had to endure the true, unvarnished degradation and horror of his torture.

The one who couldn’t even sleep for it.

All she wanted was to heal him.

His breathing ragged from the pain of those memories, he returned the cloth to her hand. He glared at her throat with so much animosity and fury that it actually scared her. She wanted to say something to soothe him, but fear froze her vocal cords.

This wasn’t the man who made love to her for hours on end.

This was the feral warrior, Kere, and by the look on his face, it was obvious he wanted blood.

Her blood.

With a twist to his lips that was truly terrifying, he reached for her throat.

He’s going to kill you…

Just as she started to punch him to protect herself, he broke her slave’s collar in half. Her jaw went slack as he stepped away and angrily tore the collar into pieces, then tossed it into the trash can next to the tub.

“What are you doing?” she asked, confused by his actions.

Those blue eyes scorched her with his repressed insanity. “I spent too many years imprisoned here. I refuse to do that to someone else, especially you. I don’t want you to stay with me because you have no choice. I want you here because you want to be with me.” A tic worked furiously in his jaw. “I told Gera not to prep you anymore unless you requested it.”

His gaze dropped to her breast before his features softened to the teasing countenance she’d come to cherish most. “Although I did like the flavored body paint.”

She smiled at him. “As long as you’re the one who applies it and not some strange woman I’ve never met before, I have no objection to using it.”