Boys, Bears, and a Serious Pair of Hiking Boots(42)
Author: Abby McDonald

I hang on to the swing and lean back, closing my eyes to the looming mountains and green valley stretching up around me.

“Hey, Jenna.”

Startled, I nearly fall off the swing. Struggling to keep my balance, I turn to see Ethan sauntering toward me in that awful plaid shirt of his. Grady and Reeve follow, a few paces behind.

Reeve!

“Hi!” I exclaim breathlessly, my pulse picking up right away. “How’ve you guys been? What’s up?” I quickly smooth my hair back and make sure my shirt isn’t gaping open. Even as I do, I tell myself to stay relaxed, not make a big deal over this. But I can’t help it: even the sight of him with that old red baseball cap jammed low over his eyes is doing strange, fluttery things to my stomach.

And I thought the nervous crush phase was bad.

“Nothing much.” Ethan gives me a look, but thankfully he doesn’t say anything about my weird behavior. I recover, forcing myself to act casual.

“Cool . . .” My gaze slides over to Reeve. He gives me a quick smile but then turns away, looking down the street. My excitement slips.

I turn back to Ethan, trying to seem unconcerned. “So, did you want to get started on the next DVD marathon, maybe tomorrow?”

“Sure,” Grady agrees, kind of quickly.

He elbows Ethan, who says, “Yeah, count me in.”

“Reeve?” I ask, letting my eyes drift. Despite my best efforts, there’s a whole lot of hope bound up in that one word.

“Nope, can’t make it.” He finally turns back to me, but his expression is unreadable.

My heart sinks.

“More overtime?” Ethan asks, leaning against the jungle-gym frame. I try to keep a smile fixed on my face.

Reeve nods. “Yup. I figure I should take it while I can.”

“Good call.”

“Anyway, I’ve got to go.” Reeve jerks his thumb toward the gas station, already edging away. His eyes flicker back to me, just for a moment, and I think I see a private look, but I can’t be sure. “Catch you all later.”

“Bye . . .” My voice trails uselessly after him.

As I watch him walk away, something clenches in my throat. All this time I’ve spent replaying that kiss, going over the whole day, and it doesn’t mean a thing to him. It was just the moment, the adrenaline — he got caught up. And I was expecting . . . I don’t even know what. God, I’m pathetic.

“Want to grab a soda?” I realize Ethan’s talking to me. Grady has bailed as well, off down the street on his skateboard, so it’s just the two of us left.

“Sure.” I nod weakly.

“And you’ve got to hear the new Devon Darsel tracks; I downloaded them last night.” He picks up my bike and begins to wheel it toward the store. I’ve got nothing better to do than follow him, aching a little inside.

I wallow for the rest of the day, running over every look and conversation until I’m not even sure what’s real anymore — and what’s a product of my overactive imagination. But no matter how hard I try, I can’t figure Reeve out. Are stormy, near-death hook-ups such a regular occurrence for him that this one didn’t even register? Or does he think Ethan still likes me and doesn’t want to go behind his back? There are too many possibilities, and none of them makes me feel any less insecure.

A text comes through, lighting up my phone. It’s from Olivia. Where the wild things R=awesome movie! Xx.

I stare at it in disbelief. That’s it? I pour my heart out to her voice mail about my parents and Reeve and I get a one-line, nonsense response!

Even though it’s got to be at least one a.m. out there, I hit my speed dial. By some miracle, she answers on the second ring.

“Olivia, it’s me.”

“Wait, who?”

I stop. “It’s me, Jenna.”

“Hey!” Her voice is high-pitched, and there’s laughter and noise in the background. “I was totally just talking about you!”

“Did you get my messages?” I sit, very still on the edge of my bed, hugging my comforter.

“What?” I hear her cover the handset and say something to someone there.

“My messages.” I swallow back the lump in my throat and try again. “About Reeve, and everything.”

“Uh-huh! See, I told you he liked you, all this time!”

“No, that was Ethan.” I grit my teeth. “He’s g*y, remember? This is Reeve. You know, Reeve.”

I must have sent her dozens of texts and e-mails over the past weeks: spelling out in tiny detail every look and touch and smile that’s gone between us. The first thing I did when I got back from the hike was call Olivia up and leave a giddy message so she could share in it all. But she doesn’t even remember.

“Right, sure, Reeve!” she says quickly, her voice hard to make out over the background noise. “You guys got together — that’s so great.”

“Sure it is.” My voice is flat. “Except we didn’t.”

“Uh-huh.”

I know that tone. It’s the one she uses when she couldn’t care less about what’s being said — not even enough to register what you’re talking about “Where are you, anyway?”

“What?”

“I said, where are you?” I speak louder.

“We’re in Chicago!” Olivia exclaims. “Setting up camp. We got in this evening to protest the Climate Committee meeting!”

“Wait, what happened to the collective?”

“It didn’t work out. They were way too fixed in their rules . . .” Her voice begins to fade out. “So we went . . . Cash says . . . more free-form . . . until . . .”

“Olivia, are you there?”

“With the system, so you . . . overthrowing . . . in the end.” I listen closely, but I can’t make out more than a few words among the static and laughter. Then Olivia’s voice comes back, suddenly clear.

“Here I am! What’s up?”

Suddenly, I’ve had enough.

“You know what? Don’t even bother!” I tell her angrily. “If you can’t even pay attention to anything I tell you . . .”

“But Jenna —”

“No! I haven’t heard from you in forever — and I really needed you this week!” My voice catches on that last part. I sniffle. “It’s not like I’m asking much, but with everything going on with Reeve . . . I don’t know what to do. I miss you!”