Burn (Page 85)

It surprised her, that her mind went back so quickly and easily. She hadn’t realized how she’d carried the betrayals of the past so strongly within her, all these years. She was always waiting to be hurt, to be used, and that had kept her from forming close bonds with any but the most trusted, who were Syd and Al. She didn’t allow anyone else to get close, didn’t allow herself to let down her guard long enough for anyone to break her heart. Not a man, not a friend.

She didn’t mourn the loss of Dylan, or even her own father, but Michelle was a different story. Jenner doubted the woman she’d become and the woman Michelle was now would have anything in common, but suddenly she missed her old friend as much as if they had had their falling out just yesterday.

With all the stress of the past week, suddenly it seemed unimportant to carry a grudge for long ago indiscretions. Michelle had been an important part of her life for a very long time, and even if those days were long gone, even if she couldn’t get back what she’d once had, her life had been richer for having Michelle in it. She wouldn’t take back a single day even if she had the chance.

Years ago she’d walked away from Michelle and she’d never looked back. When this was over – and with every day that passed she was more certain that it would end with her and Syd unharmed and together again – would she walk away from Cael as easily as she had walked away from her old life? Would she cut him out of her mind and, yes damn it, her heart?

Would she even have the chance? The choice? She’d probably wake up one morning and he’d just be gone, leaving her life as abruptly as he’d entered it.

She thought of Michelle again, their celebrations and conversations and arguments, and she smiled. There had been more good times than bad, and though she’d denied them, she hadn’t forgotten. They were a part of who she was, even though she’d changed so much since those days. Even Dylan and Jerry had served their purposes in making her who she was today. She didn’t have any desire to see either of them ever again, but in her own way, she forgave them as she swam in this place that was like another world.

When she came up out of the water, Cael was, as always, close by. There was no one else in the cove, though that might not last.

She walked toward him, her movements slow and easy as she worked against the water, which lapped around her breasts. She pulled off her mask, shook the water out of her hair.

"The first night we were onboard, you made me kiss you."

He pulled off his mask, too, watching her with hooded eyes. "People were watching," he said flatly. "It was necessary."

"No one’s watching now," she said as she came to a stop, so close she was almost touching him. She tilted her head back and looked up at him. She pushed away her anger, her frustration, her hurt, and tried to let herself look at Cael as nothing more than a man. From the beginning she’d been attracted to him, drawn to him in an instinctive way, but she’d fought her response to him – as would any right-minded woman who found herself in the same situation.

But everything wasn’t as it had initially seemed, she knew that now. And she didn’t want to lose him. What a kick in the ass that was!

"Kiss me again," she said. "Not because anyone’s watching and you have to, not because it’s necessary but just … because."

He blew out a breath. "That’s not a good idea." His smooth voice had a rough edge to it, one that made everything in her tighten in response.

"Agreed," she said. "Do it anyway."

He didn’t move. She laid her hand on his chest, feeling the crispness of hair, the warmth of his skin, the pound of his heart.

"Kiss me," she said again, and her own heart was thudding so hard and fast she could barely breathe. "With no one to sell it to but the fishes."

She took the half-step forward that brought her against him, he put his arm around her and pulled her close, and he closed his mouth over hers.

There was no fear this time, no panic. She leaned into him, got lost in the sensations of his mouth on hers, his wet body against hers. His heat was a sharp contrast to the coolness of the water, of her wet skin, and she drank it in.

The isolation, the water, the feel of Cael’s skin against hers and the pleasure his mouth gave made her dizzy with sheer pleasure. For this short moment, she wasn’t worried about tomorrow, revenge, or once again being the outsider when she wanted desperately to be on the inside. It was just a kiss, a kiss for them and no one else.

He cupped her bottom and lifted her, fitting her to him, wrapping her legs around him. He was rock hard, his erection pressing into her. Slowly he moved her against him, undulating her back and forth. A soft cry clogged her throat as she clung to his shoulders, and "just a kiss" changed so rapidly into something else that she felt as if she were spinning out of reality. The throbbing between her legs went from pleasurable to frantic in just a few seconds. Her second cry was taut, aching.

He shoved his hand down the back of her bikini bottoms, his long fingers reaching down and in. She jerked as two of them penetrated her, hard and rough, and just like that everything in her tightened and peaked and she began coming, her raspy cries floating over the sound of the waves. Frantically she tried to stop the cries, tried to stop her body from moving against him so obviously, tried to control the rhythmic tightening around his fingers. This wasn’t happening. This couldn’t be happening. All she’d wanted was a kiss, something to tell her she wasn’t in this alone. She hadn’t expected things to blast out of control that way.

He let her down gently – physically, at least. When she could breathe again, think again, when her legs would hold her weight he uncoiled her legs and let her slide down his body. She leaned against him for a moment, her eyes closed, caught between acute satisfaction and embarrassment.