Carnal Secrets (The Phoenix Pack #3)(44)
Author: Suzanne Wright

“I’ll be driving you to work this morning,” he said stiffly as he came forward, making her shuffle backward.

“I want to see Nick.”

His expression hardened. “You’ll have to wait until later.”

“I want to see him now.”

He arched a brow. “Why? So you can hurt him even more than you already have?”

She inhaled deeply. “I understand you’re mad at me, I know how protective you are of Nick—”

“Then we don’t need to have this conversation.”

What was bugging her more than Derren’s reprimanding tone was the fact that Nick hadn’t come outside. He had to know that Derren was trying to keep her away; he had to hear what was going on, but he wasn’t interfering. That meant one of two things: Nick genuinely didn’t want to see or speak to her, or he had something to hide. A dark suspicion whispered into her mind. Was he with another female? Had he sought comfort from someone else? Amber? She actually wouldn’t blame him, but she’d kill the bitch for sure.

It was only at this second that she appreciated just how hard last night had been for Nick. Just how deep her actions must have cut him. She really had some apologizing to do. And she needed to do it now.

“My SUV is behind Nick’s car,” said Derren, waving a hand toward it.

He thought he could keep her away from her own mate? Pfft. Acting as compliant as he obviously expected her to be, she nodded and walked toward the SUV. Sharply, she swerved, ramming her elbow into his throat, and then followed that up with a punch to his jaw. Then she was dashing toward the motor home.

Derren quickly made a grab for her as he came up behind her, but she’d expected that. She twisted slightly and kicked him hard in the chest, making him stumble. Then she opened the door and barged inside the motor home. She passed the sofa, dinette, small kitchen, bathroom, and continued to the rear of the vehicle where there were two doors. Taking a gamble that the one on the left was Nick’s bedroom, she opened it wide. And stopped dead.

Nick was lying on the bed on his stomach, fully clothed, pale, and sleeping deeply. So deeply that his shifter senses hadn’t been able to waken him, despite that they would have picked up the argument outside, the tension in the air, and also her scent. His wolf would sense all of that too, but clearly he was having no luck with waking Nick either. Even Bruce, who was sprawled beside the bed and licking the golden-tanned arm that was hanging over the mattress, wasn’t managing to wake him.

Just then, Derren came up behind her and grabbed her shoulders gently but firmly, pulling her back and leading her away. Distracted by her concern, she didn’t fight him. “Why is he lying there like that?” she asked quietly in a shaky voice. “What’s wrong with him?”

She thought Derren wasn’t going to answer, but then he sighed and said, “He gets headaches. Bad ones.”

“That doesn’t explain why he’s not waking up.”

“The worse the pain, the more pills he takes. Yesterday, he had three headaches, and the pain was agonizing each time. Put that pain together with a whole lot of pills, and you’ve got someone who’s so deeply asleep, he’s close to unconscious.”

Suddenly unsteady, she took a seat on the sofa. She’d noticed the occasional tint of pain in his eyes, but she hadn’t prodded him about it, determined to hide her concern for him…like an insensitive bitch—something out of character for her. She’d let the anger she harbored change her behavior in some ways. No more of that. That wasn’t the person she wanted to be. “I didn’t know about the headaches.”

“Why would you? I’ll bet you haven’t taken the time to try to know him at all.”

“Look, you can take as many potshots at me as you want. But not now, okay. I need to understand what’s happening with Nick. And if you’re not going to let me wake him up and talk to him”—not that she really would disturb him, but Derren didn’t need to know that—“then you’re going to have to be the one to tell me.”

He snorted. “After what you did last night, I’m not in the mood to tell you shit. I’m guessing part of the reason you went on that date was because you wanted a reaction. Well, here’s your reaction. I hope you’re happy.”

Panic fluttered through her. “You’re saying that the bad headache he had last night was my fault? That I caused it?”

“If Nick’s right, yes. He believes they’re triggered by emotional stress. And he’s sure had a lot of that lately, hasn’t he?”

Shaya flinched and bowed her head. “I was hurt.”

“Yes, you were. But you were so wrapped up in your own pain that you didn’t notice his—or if you did, you didn’t care. Did you know that being around you when he can’t claim you physically hurts him?” That made her head snap up. “The mating urges make you uncomfortable. They put him in pain. It was bad enough when he wasn’t around you. Being close to you makes the urges worse.”

She ran a hand through her hair. “I didn’t know.”

“Would it have made any difference to you?” His tone communicated that he believed the answer was no.

Exasperated with both herself and Derren, she met his gaze unflinchingly—not caring that he’d find it odd for a submissive wolf to face the brunt of his anger. “I know you’re pissed at me, but you can’t judge me when you haven’t found your own mate. You don’t know what it’s like to finally find the person who’s so important to you that he’s supposed to make every bad thing that happened before not hurt as much. You don’t know what it’s like to have that person who’s made just for you completely reject you and cold-shoulder you. You can’t know how being abandoned by your mate makes you feel dead inside.”

Derren’s expression and tone softened. “So can we agree that you’ve both suffered enough?”

She exhaled heavily. “Yes.”

“If you’re too hurt to accept him in your life, you need to tell him that, Shaya. Yes, I know you’ve been saying that to him since he got here, but you haven’t totally meant it, and he sensed that. If you really want him gone, tell him, and this time mean it.” Hearing movement in the bedroom, Derren said, “Here’s your chance. I’ll take a walk, give you both some privacy.”

Shaya got to her feet, waiting anxiously. Seconds later, Nick came out of the bedroom with Bruce by his side. Relieved that he wasn’t staggering weakly, her wolf settled slightly. Spotting her, he double-blinked.