Come to Me Quietly (Closer to You #1) by A.L. Jackson-fiction (Page 75)

Come to Me Quietly (Closer to You #1)(75)
Author: A.L. Jackson

A small sob worked its way up my throat. I pressed my fist to my mouth, trying to hold it in.

Because he had… he had left me behind. He forgot me, leaving me completely alone. It hurt so much. And I was trying so hard to see myself on the other side of it, to be strong because I knew there would be a time when I would treasure what he’d given me. There’d be a time when I was no longer afraid and I’d smile when I saw him in glimmers of what he’d injected into my life.

Tremors rolled through the length of my body, shaking me to my core because all I wanted was for him to be a part of it.

Mom reached out to touch the memory of her friend’s face. Her voice dropped in slow encouragement. “You know, she always said the two of you would end up together. She’d watch you playing together and then give me this look that said I told you so.” Warm laughter trickled from her mouth, something that sounded so hopeful and so very sad. “You don’t know how happy it would make her to know you love her son the way she always hoped you would… how happy it makes me to know you’ve found someone to love this way.”

Her assertion burned me deep inside. “Mom, how can you say that? He’s gone.” I emphasized the word because I realized then that was what I really needed to accept.

Sorrow squeezed my spirit.

He was gone.

Mom cupped my cheek. “Hearts have a way of finding their way home.”

Tuesday evening I drove the short distance back to the apartment after my classes ended for the day. Sunlight barely clung to the sky. Golds blazed at the horizon and danced with the waning blue. Through the windshield, I lifted my face to it, hit with the intense urge to curl up on my bed with my sketch pad, to free my hand and see his face.

All I wanted was to see his face.

I wound around the lot and parked in my spot. Sucking in a deep breath, I got my bag and stepped from the car. I felt drained. Fatigued. I always felt a little bit off, like this overall sickness burdened my body. My feet were heavy as I crossed the lot, heavier as I studied them, coaxing them to take the next step. I took them one at a time, holding on to the railing for support.

All the breath left me when I lifted my head, and I was engulfed in fear and panic and an almost terrifying explosion of relief.

Because the only eyes I wanted to see were watching me from where he sat on the top step, his forearms resting on his knees, his intense ice blue eyes staring down at me.

“Jared.”

TWENTY-FOUR

Jared

God, seeing her had to be about the best feeling I’d ever experienced. With just the suggestion of her face, dizzying waves of relief slammed into me, filling up that hollowed-out void.

Aly.

Slanting a nervous hand through my hair, I did my best to sit still while I stared down at the green eyes that had locked on me. Strands of the darkest hair swirled all around her, stirred up by the cool breeze that had fallen with the descending night. Frozen midstep, she clung to the railing like maybe she feared she would fall, like the world had just dropped out from beneath her feet.

I guess mine had the moment I opened my eyes to find her hovering over me that first night I’d slept on her couch.

God knew she was the only one who’d managed to change it.

A somber smile pulled at my mouth while something profoundly heavy pulled at my heart.

The girl was so beautiful. Breathtaking.

Air seemed impossible to find, my pulse all thready and harsh. Every cell in my body was screaming at me to get up, to take her in my arms, to kiss her and hold her and make sure she was real because I’d spent so many nights dreaming about her that I wasn’t entirely sure what real was anymore.

Cautiously, I climbed to my feet. A tumult of thoughts fired through my mind while somehow I remained at a complete loss for words. I had no idea how she’d react to me being here, had no clue what she was thinking, couldn’t tell if she was happy or relieved or angry because she just looked f**king sad.

I wanted to wipe that sadness from her face and erase it from her heart because there was no question I was the one who’d written it there. The most selfish part of me coming back was I still didn’t know if I knew how. The only thing I knew was I could no longer stay away. It just wasn’t possible when she was the only thing I could see.

“Aly,” I finally managed to whisper, her name the sum of all the tumult coursing through me. She was all that mattered.

Five steps down, she stood there, unmoving, before her head slowly began to shake, her lips trembling as tears broke loose. Her eyes squeezed shut. She dropped her face, her free hand in a fist as she spoke toward the concrete steps. “You came back.”

Her voice ached with uncertainty and loss, swam with turmoil, echoed the broken girl I’d left standing in the middle of the lot screaming my name.

And it stung. This girl had been hurting just as badly as me.

But what had I expected? That she was fine? That there’d been a second’s chance that she’d moved on like I promised her she would?

I mean, damn it, there’d been no denying what I felt in her touch.

And there was no denying now how I hurt her.

Lines creased between my eyes. “How could I not?” My hand fluttered in her direction, wishing I could make every f**king inch of space separating us disappear. “I lied to you, Aly. That night… ” I swallowed hard as my attention shot to the place where I’d left her behind before I angled it back on her. “I left knowing I could never forget you, but praying somehow you could forget me. And I know I shouldn’t be here. I know I should give you a chance to forget, but, Aly… I miss you.”

I missed her. God, I missed her.

Aly looked up at me through the hair shielding her face, the face that was all twisted in grief, soaked with tears and the scars I’d carved in her spirit.

“Aly – ”

Harshly, she shook her head, a quick command for silence. She didn’t look away from me as she slowly started up the steps. She edged to the left, and I turned to let her by. An overwhelming fear of rejection punched me in the gut when I realized I was too late.

Until she glanced up at me as she passed, her eyes imploring. Please.

On the landing, Aly fumbled with her keys and unlocked the door, left it open in invitation as she went inside. She didn’t stop when she dumped that huge-ass purse from her shoulder and onto the floor, the act rushing me with all these memories of the days I’d spent waiting for her to walk through that door. Shit. Could I be more of a fool? Because here I was, asking for the same thing I’d been asking for before, seeking out her comfort when I knew it could never be something I would deserve. What the hell did I think had changed? But something had… I felt it deep… whatever had struck me that night on the deserted road in Nevada, the night I realized I wanted to live. That I had something to live for.