Confessions of a Shopaholic (Page 23)

At the Clarins counter, my attention is grabbed by a big promotional sign. BUY TWO SKIN-CARE PRODUCTS, AND RECEIVE FREE BEAUTY BAG, CONTAINING TRIAL-SIZE CLEANSER, TONER, AND MOISTURIZER, AUTUMN BLAZE LIPSTICK, EXTRA STRENGTH MASCARA AND SAMPLE-SIZE EAU DYNAMISANTE. STOCKS LIMITED SO HURRY.

But this is fantastic! Do you know how much Clarins lipstick usually costs? And here they are, giving it away! Excitedly I start rooting through all the skin-care products, trying to decide which two to buy. How about some neck cream? I’ve never used that before. And some of this Revitalizing Moisturizer. And then I’ll get a free lipstick! It’s a complete bargain.

“Hi,” I say to the woman in the white uniform. “I’d like the Neck Cream and the Revitalizing Moisturizer. And the beauty bag,” I add, suddenly petrified that I might be too late; that the limited stocks might have run out.

But they haven’t! Thank God. As my VISA card’s processing, the woman hands me my shiny red beauty bag (which I have to admit is a bit smaller than I was expecting) and I excitedly open it up. And there, sure enough, is my free lipstick!

It’s a kind of browny-red color. A bit weird, actually. But if I mix it up a bit with some of my others and add a bit of lip gloss, it’ll look really good.

By the time I get home, I’m exhausted. I open the door to the flat and Suze comes rushing up, like a puppy.

“What did you get?” she cries.

“Don’t look!” I cry back. “You’re not allowed to look! It’s your present.”

“My present!” Suze gets overexcited about birthdays. Well, to be honest, so do I.

I hurry into my bedroom and hide the Benetton bag in the wardrobe. Then I unpack all the rest of my shopping and get out my little silver notebook to itemize my purchases. David E. Barton says this should be done straight away, before items can be forgotten.

“D’you want a drink?” comes Suze’s voice through the door.

“Yes, please!” I shout back, writing in my book, and a moment later she comes in with a glass of wine.

“EastEnders in a minute,” she says.

“Thanks,” I say absently, and keep on writing. I’m following the rules of the book exactly, taking out all my receipts and writing them all down, and I’m feeling really pleased with myself. It just shows, as David E. Barton says, that with a bit of application, anyone can gain control of their finances.

Come to think of it, I’ve bought quite a lot of moisturizer today, haven’t I? To be honest, when I was at the Clarins counter, buying my Revitalizing Moisturizer, I forgot about all those pots I’d bought at Boots. Still, never mind. You always need moisturizer. It’s a staple, like bread and milk, and David E. Barton says you should never scrimp on staples. And apart from that, I don’t think I’ve done too badly. Of course I haven’t added it all up yet, but. .

OK. So here is my final and complete list: Cappuccino £1.50Muffin £1.00Notebook £3.99Pen £1.20Magazines £6.40Leaving present £4.00Egg and cress sandwich 99pCoconut bath oil £2.55Boots Moisturizers £20.97Two cardigans £90.00Evening Standard 35pClarins Neck Cream £14.5 °Clarins Moisturizer £32.50Beauty Bag Free!Banana smoothie £2.0 °Carrot cake £1.20

And that comes to a grand total of. . £177.96

I stare at this figure in utter shock.

No, I’m sorry, that just can’t be right. It can’t be right. I can’t have spent over £170 in one day.

I mean, it isn’t even the weekend. I’ve been at work. I wouldn’t have had time to spend that much. There has to be something wrong somewhere. Maybe I haven’t added it up right. Or maybe I’ve entered something twice.

My eye runs more carefully down the list and suddenly stops in triumph. “Two cardigans.” I knew it! I only bought. .

Oh yes. I did buy two, didn’t I? Blast. Oh, this is too depressing. I’m going to go and watch EastEnders.

OCTAGON — flair style • vision

Financial Services Department

8th Floor, Tower House

London Road, Winchester SO44 3DR

Ms. Rebecca Bloomwood Charge Card Number 7854 4567

Flat 2

4 Burney Rd.

London SW6 8FD

5 March 2000

Dear Ms. Bloomwood:

Thank you for your check for £43.00, received today.

Unfortunately, the check is unsigned. No doubt just an oversight on your part. I am therefore returning it to you and request that you sign it and return to us.

As you are no doubt aware, this payment is already late by eight days.

I look forward to receiving your signed check.

Yours sincerely,

John Hunter