Cut & Run (Cut & Run #1)(84)
Author: Abigail Roux

Zane’s face went still. “How much do you remember?” he asked quietly, eyes filled with silent questions.

Ty licked his lips nervously and shrugged. He hated when people asked him that. He hated admitting when he couldn’t recall something.

“Enough that I know kissing me wasn’t a really weird thing for you to do,” he answered vaguely.

Rather than being surprised or confused, Zane looked disappointed.

So, Ty remembered they’d had a good time. Sort of. But that was all, apparently. Zane nodded and offered a small, forced smile. At least he had that. It would do while he figured out how to make the longing for that fire between them to stop.

Ty watched his reaction carefully, confused by it. “What am I missing?” he asked in frustration. He had worked for weeks to regain the memories he had lost. He knew he was still missing quite a few, some that he would never get back, but until right then he hadn’t come across any holes that had seemed important, either to him or to someone else.

Zane swallowed hard as he slid his hand to take Ty’s and lace their fingers together. “Are you feeling this, too?” he asked, echoing what they’d asked each other months ago, only to have it pushed aside. But not forgotten.

Ty watched their fingers intertwine, fighting back the fluttering in his stomach when Zane spoke. He jerked his head up sharply and met Zane’s eyes. That one he did remember, although he had regretted that conversation for months, blushing furiously whenever he thought of it even when he was alone. He shook his head and swallowed. “No,” he answered hoarsely, echoing the answer he had given before.

Slowly, Zane raised his other hand to cup Ty’s reddening cheek. “Me, either,” he breathed before leaning forward to kiss Ty gently.

Ty groaned plaintively to break the kiss, and he took a step back to put some distance between them. “Jesus Christ, Zane,” he muttered in exasperation. “I was horrible to you. Why are you even here?”

Zane clamped down on the emotion swirling inside him, forcing himself to be as reasonable as he could. Some insane declaration would get them nowhere but upset and blustering. “I missed you,” he admitted hoarsely.

“All the damn time.”

Instead of asking why in the hell Zane had missed someone who’d been so shitty to him for the majority of their time together, Ty decided to accept it as a gift and shook his head, moving closer again. “I missed you, too,” he admitted.

A small smile pulled at Zane’s lips as Ty stepped back into his reach.

“Missed a pansy-assed poster boy?” he teased as he pulled Ty to him.

“I had a head injury,” Ty answered defensively, mumbling against Zane’s cheek.

“You called me that before the head injury,” Zane needled.

“Exactly,” Ty affirmed with a small smile against Zane’s skin.

Ty’s lips against him made Zane happier than he could remember being in some time. Four months’ time, if he was honest, which he really tried to avoid.

Ty turned his head, breathing in Zane’s scent. “Why don’t you go back to the shower idea,” he suggested softly, pulling away gently again.

Zane kept hold of Ty’s hand even as the other man backed away. He felt both relieved and scared, and it was a toss-up as to which was stronger.

“Your shower idea? Or my shower idea?”

Ty snorted softly and looked back down at their joined hands. “Which do you prefer?” he asked with a small smile.

“My idea,” Zane admitted, tilting his head to one side as he raised their combined fists. “But that won’t get me food anytime soon.”

Ty grinned mischievously, acknowledging the obvious joke he could make and passing it over. “Tell you what,” he murmured as he tugged at their hands and brought Zane closer. “You go shower, and I’ll order pizza and change the sheets on the bed,” he offered.

The purr started low in Zane’s chest and built as he stepped right up against Ty for one more enveloping kiss. “Deal,” he murmured.

Ty grinned against his lips and gently extricated himself. “What do you want on your pizza?” he asked as he moved away before Zane could snag him again.

“Anything but onions and fish,” Zane said as he reached for the jacket. “I’m gonna duck outside for a smoke first, okay?”

“Those things’ll kill you,” Ty admonished as he headed for the phone.

Zane had the cigarette between his lips already as he headed for the back porch. “I think the bullets will get me first,” he said wryly as he stepped out and pulled the door shut behind him.

Ty stared after him for a moment, unsettled. He wasn’t sure what it was about the situation that left him feeling odd. He sighed heavily and dialed the nearest pizza joint, placing the order and giving his phone number for delivery. Then he headed up the narrow stairs to the bedroom at the front of the little row house and began yanking the sheets off the bed. They smelled like the girl from the bar and expensive cigars and possibly Mike’s Hard Lemonade. Ty was a little hazy on the details. Regardless, Zane didn’t really need to catch a whiff of any of those things.

Taking his time with the smoke, Zane stared off into the city that sprawled out down the hill from the roofs of the brownstones. He spent a few long minutes picking apart his own feelings—why he felt simultaneously steadier and shakier than he had in months. Steadier, because he was with Ty.

It had to be. But just the implications shook him. He had no idea how he had become so dependent on the other man without even seeing it happening.

How did he do something about it? More importantly … did he want to do something about it?

Christ. He shook his head. Zane didn’t even know what “it” was. But he knew he was afraid it would disappear. He didn’t want to watch Ty walk away again. He finished the cigarette, stubbed it out on the concrete, and dropped it into the planter that looked like it had been used for that purpose before. Zane briefly wondered who had been smoking out here if Ty was so against cigarettes, and he drew in a deep breath. He knew Ty’s habits. It didn’t bear thinking. Shower first. Then he’d see what other emotions reared their heads. Hopefully they’d be ones he understood.

He found Ty upstairs, searching for the spare set of sheets and muttering to himself as he rummaged through the top shelf of the closet.

Zane stopped in the doorway. “Towels in here?” he asked, taking in the length of Ty’s body and pushing back the desire that revived inside.