Deeper We Fall (Fall and Rise #1)(39)
Author: Chelsea M. Cameron

“I’ll make sure we at least get one dance in beforehand,” he said, taking my hand and giving me a twirl.

We all entered the party together, but quickly split off. Zan and I ended up in a corner by a window out of the way of a lot of the action. Trish had gone to get a drink, Stryker went out for a smoke, and Will and Audrey found their own corner.

“You see Katie?” I had to pull his ear down and yell so he could hear me.

“There,” he said, pointing. There she was, my roommate in a pink cl**vage-showing, hip-hugging pinstriped dress, doing the mouth tango with Zack. The fedora was on her head, and his hands were all over her.

I flashed back to the night of the bonfire, and how Zack had done that with Lexie. I turned away.

“Are you okay?” Zan sensed my distress.

“Fine. It just… reminds me. Of that night.”

“I understand. Do you want to go outside?”

I nodded. He took my hand and led me out of the large living room where most of the party was, but he didn’t take me out the front door.

“Where are we going?” I yelled.

“You’ll see.”

He pulled me up the stairs, which were crowded with people and opened several doors before finding one that wasn’t occupied. He tried to pull me in, but I jerked his hand back. I was not hooking up with him in a strange frat guy’s bedroom.

“Zan!”

“Just hold on,” he said, tugging me along as if I offered no resistance. We didn’t stop at the bed, but he went to the window, which he pushed open. He stuck his head out, looked around and then hoisted himself through.

“Come on,” he said, holding his hand out. “Outside is this way.”

Somehow I was able to get myself out of the window, even though it was much more difficult than it would have been in jeans.

“That was an act of congress,” I said when we were finally out on a little landing that doubled as a fire escape.

“Here we go,” he said, taking my hand and leading me onto the roof. It was sloped, but not enough that I was scared of sliding off.

The sound of the party was muffled, as if we’d stuck our fingers in our ears.

“Better?” he said once I’d gotten myself into a sitting position.

“Much.” I pulled my coat tighter. It was effing freezing up there. Zan put his arm around me and tucked me into his chest. He blocked a lot of the wind, and he was always warm.

“Do you want to go?”

“We can’t leave yet. We came all the way down here, and I didn’t wear this dress for nothing.”

“What did you wear it for?”

“I don’t know. I just felt sexy and grown-up when I put it on. Is that dumb?” A triumphant yell sounded from the house below. Someone probably won the Beer Pong Championships.

“Not at all.”

He took my hands and put them inside his coat.

“Just in case they get cold.”

We sat for a while, not talking. If only we could see the stars and had some hot tea, it would have been perfect.

“You’re not mad at me, are you?” I asked.

“Mad at you for what?”

“For not knowing what I want.”

“The fact that you’re even sitting next to me is more than I thought I’d ever have, so no.” He kissed my cheek.

“It just isn’t you. It’s like I’ve known these two different Zans. The one that wrecked everything and then the guy who put everything back together.”

“Oh, Charlotte.”

I moved so I could look at him. “What?”

He paused for a long time before he spoke. Choosing the right words. “Would you come somewhere with me tomorrow? You’ll need to drive.”

“I have the day off. I was going to hang out with Audrey and Trish.”

“Please.” He’d never asked me for anything.

“Sure. Where are we going?”

“You’ll see. I just… I need a place where we can talk. A private place.”

If he were any other guy, I would have said it was some sort of covert plan to get me to have sex with him. With Zan, things were different. I knew when he said he wanted to talk, it meant just that.

“Do you want to go back down?” he said a few minutes later.

“We probably should. Trish and Stryker are probably still arguing.” Zan helped me get to my feet and back through the window without any issues.

“And I didn’t even rip the dress,” he said as he set me down.

“Good boy,” I said, patting his cheek.

The party seemed even more raucous when we got back to the heart of it. Above the music and the laugher, I heard someone yelling.

“I believe no means no, you insensitive douchebag!” Zan and I glanced at each other and followed the voice.

A crowd had assembled in the large living room quicker than you could say ‘fistfight.’

Zan shoved his way through as someone yelled back at the guy who had yelled first. Stryker.

“Zack,” Zan breathed. “I’ll be right back.”

“You can get the f**k out of my way, fang boy,” Zack said, trying to shove Stryker backward. My eyes searched and found a sobbing Katie being comforted by Trish and Audrey in the corner. Will was standing just beside Stryker, as if he was waiting for a good moment to step in.

Zan waded into the situation with the grim determination of someone who had been there before.

“Zack, come outside with me,” he said, trying to pull him away from the fracas.

“No way, man. This guy was trying to tell me what I can do with my girl,” Zack said, trying to get to Stryker, who held his hands up, as if to say that he didn’t want any part of a fight. The crowd was getting restless, itching for someone to throw a punch. People tried to shove me aside, but I threw out my elbows and handed out a few bruises.

“Let’s just go outside and get some air and we can deal with it, okay?” Zan said, trying to take one of Zack’s arms and remove him from the situation.

“Fuck you, Zan. Fuck you.” Zack jerked away from Zan’s grasp and tried to punch him, but Zan was too fast. Unbalanced from the thwarted punch, Zack went down.

“Need a hand?” Will said, leaning down to help Zan.

“I’ve got it,” Zan said, his voice sharp. I’d never heard him be sharp with anyone. “I’ve got it,” he said again, heaving a swearing and thrashing Zack to his feet and starting to drag him out of the house. The crowd parted like the Red Sea for Moses.

I wanted to follow, but Will beat me to it.

“I’ll make sure they’re okay. You check on Katie.”

“Thanks, Will.”

Shoving my way through the crowd, I finally reached my friends.

“What happened?” I said, as someone turned the music back up. Audrey was busy holding Katie up and dabbing at her running mascara.

“Zack started groping her and she told him no, and he didn’t like it. Stryker was just getting a drink and happened to be walking by, so he told Zack he should listen to Katie, and then their testosterone exploded,” Trish said.

“The penis effect?”

“Exactly.”

“Stryker was about to beat the shit out of him when you came down.”

“Zan should have let him.”

Trish nodded.

“Hey, Katie,” I said, wishing the dress allowed me to carry a purse. I couldn’t shove any tissues in the tiny little phone holster I had strapped to my leg.

“It was so stupid, Lot. He just got a little handsy. That was all.”

“Katie.”

“I know! I know you hate him!” She chucked her now-black tissue on the floor. It was already littered with cups and wrappers and God knew what else.

“Katie,” I said as she started to walk away.

“I just want to go home.”

She’d been so excited about tonight, and just like that, it was ruined. By none other than Zack Goddamn Parker.

Zan

I got Zack outside even though he didn’t make it easy on me. He kept saying that he was going to beat the shit out of Stryker. Yeah, that was going to happen. Stryker was a black belt in Jujitsu, and even though he hadn’t practiced in a while, he could still take out my drunk brother.

“I’d beat the shit out of that p**sy-ass loser,” Zack said as I dragged him to a bench on the lawn of the frat house.

“Sure you would, bud.” Steve had always called Zack bud when he was younger and he was still trying to kiss up to my mother.

“Everything okay?” Will was striding across the lawn to check on us.

“We’re good,” I said. I’d done this enough times. I could take care of my damn brother.

“Anything I can do?”

“Call a cab? I’d rather not drag his ass all the way across campus.”

“No prob.” Will pulled out his phone and found the number for the local cab company. “Done,” he said when he hung up. “Should be here in a few minutes.”

“Where is he?” Zack tried to stand up and I shoved him back down. “I just wanted to have a good time with my girl.”

“I know, I know,” I said, wishing Will would go the hell away.

I glanced up at him, and he nodded at me, his hands in his pockets.

“Some party.”

“Yeah,” I said. This was the first time we’d been sort of alone.

“You make her happy, you know,” he said, shuffling from one foot to another and hunching his shoulders in the cold. “Lottie,” he said, as if I didn’t know who he was talking about.

“She lights up when she sees you. Even before you got together. Even when she was pretending to hate you.”

A group of half-naked girls stumbled past us, yelling about something. They cheered as they walked up the steps, and there were cheers inside as well.

“I’m not saying that it makes me happy. I also don’t get how she can flip from wanting you to burn in hell to making out with you in such a short time, but I’ve made some questionable dating decisions myself, so…” Clearly, the gift of conversation was genetic. That almost made me smile.

“What I’m trying to say is that I’m not going to stand in your way.” He held out his hand. I stared at it for a second, and then shook it with mine.

“From what I’ve seen, you’re a good guy. You just did a bad thing, and you’ve been paying for it. But I guess you’re not the only one.” He jerked his chin at Zack, who was slumped over on the armrest of the bench.

He didn’t really know what he was talking about, but I let it go. I’d always let it go.

“That looks like the cab.” Lights swept over the lawn and pulled into the circular driveway. “Hold on a sec and I’ll get Lottie.”

“It’s okay. I’ll call her later.” I didn’t want to see Charlotte’s face right now. Seeing everything written on her face would just turn this shitty night into an even shittier one.

I’d been a moron to think this could work with her.

With Will’s help, I got Zack into the cab.

“Tell Charlotte I’ll call her when I can. I want to know how Katie’s doing.”