Derailed (Clayton Falls #1)(10)
Author: Alyssa Rose Ivy

“Molly, wait up.” Kelly tried to keep up with me.

Outside, I stopped to look at her. “I can’t do this. I’m sorry.”

“Okay, let me go back in and get my keys. I’ll take you home.”

“No, thanks, I’ll walk.”

“It’s over a mile, and it’s dark.”

“I don’t care. Sorry.” I took off, not bothering to look behind me.

I couldn’t run fast, not in sandals with heels, but I walked as quickly as I could, knowing exactly where I was going. Once I reached the front steps, I slipped my shoes off as I moved through the front hall. I grabbed a towel from the mud room on my way out the back door.

I pulled off my tank as soon as I hit the dock. I hadn’t unpacked my swimsuits yet, and I wasn’t about to let that stop me. I stripped off my skirt, standing alone on the faded wood dock. Dad was the only one who ever took care things like that, and he’d been gone five years. Wearing only a grey bra and panties, I looked down at the black water and hesitated for a second before diving in.

Cool water greeted me. It was too early in the season for the water temperature to have risen yet. I sunk further down—away from two boys, one who left me and one who I left. I came up for air, the saltiness of my tears blending in with the water.

I floated, letting the slight current move me. Part of me hoped it would take me so far out I’d never find my way back again. The lights from the dock lit the night, but with my eyes closed, I could pretend the world had gone dark.

I’m not sure how long I floated when a voice broke me out of my reverie.

“A little late for a swim, isn’t it?”

I opened my eyes and looked up at the dock to see Ben sitting with his legs hanging over the edge. “A little late for a visit, isn’t it?” I shot back, not ready to face him.

“Well, if you recall, we were supposed to be catching up tonight. You left before that could happen.”

“I wonder why I did that?” I swam reluctantly over to the dock.

“You ready to come out yet?”

“Not with you watching.”

“Like I haven’t seen you wet and naked before.” He smirked.

“I’m not naked.”

“See, so really there’s no reason to worry about it.”

“Turn around,” I ordered.

“Fine, if you insist.” He laughed as he turned to look up at the house.

Not sure how much time he’d give me, I climbed up the ladder, grabbing my towel and quickly wrapping it around me without drying off first. I sat down where Ben had just been sitting, squeezing some water from my hair.

“It’s safe to turn around.”

“I’m not sure safe is the best word.” He sat down right next to me so that our arms and legs nearly touched.

I didn’t think that deserved a response. “How’d you know where to find me?”

“You used to always come out here for a swim when you were upset.” He paused, grinning. “Usually it was because you were mad at me for something stupid.”

“I always had a good reason to be mad.”

“Yeah right. You gave me the silent treatment for a week when I skipped out on the art department fundraiser.”

“Exactly, you deserved it. I spent months organizing that, and then you bailed.”

“And what was I supposed to do to help? Face painting kids wasn’t really my thing.”

“It wouldn’t have mattered whether you sat in the corner the whole time. It was about you not being there.” I regretted the words as soon as they left my mouth. They were only going to remind us both of the night that changed everything for us.

“Yeah, well eighteen-year-old guys don’t always get that.” He looked at me intently, as if seeking the understanding and forgiveness I never gave him at seventeen.

I forced a laugh, pretending I didn’t realize what he was actually saying. “But really, am I that predictable?”

“You were, and I took a lucky guess that some things never change.”

“Some things do though.”

“Maybe only the things that need to change.”

“That’s deep, Ben.”

He cracked a smile. “I’m sorry about tonight.”

“No, you’re not. You knew that would happen when you offered to take requests. Kelly says it’s one of your biggest hits.”

“That doesn’t mean I’m not sorry. I admit I wanted you to hear it, but then, seeing the look on your face and the way you ran out like the place was on fire, I realized it probably wasn’t the best idea.”

“Well, if your goal was to hurt me, you succeeded.”

I started to stand up when Ben wrapped his hand around my wrist. “Wait, come on, let me finish.”

“Oh so there’s more to the story than you trying to hurt me?”

“I didn’t want to hurt you. I just wanted you to know how I felt. But I’ve had a change of heart.”

“What brought on this change of heart?”

“Other than the thought of you dripping wet in your underwear?” He smiled sheepishly.

“I assume, since you came out here to begin with, you had the change of heart beforehand.”

“All right, you got me there. It was just the look on your face. I know a lot of time has passed, but damn it, I still care about you, whether I like it or not.”

“I did you a favor, you know,” I whispered. He still hadn’t released my wrist, and I wasn’t fighting.

“A favor? This I’ve got to hear.”

“I saved you from being with me. You’re lucky.”

He chortled. “In what universe does losing you make me lucky?”

“I’m poison, Ben. Poison.”

“Are you high? Because if you’re not, then you’re seriously scaring me.”

“I should scare you.”

His grip on my wrist tightened. “The only thing that scares me is watching you leave in a few weeks just to find some other douche to marry.”

“Adam wasn’t a douche, and why does that matter?”

“Wasn’t? How bad was this breakup that you’re talking in the past tense?”

“The horrible, final kind,” I said icily.

“I see. Well, I hope you didn’t talk about me in the past tense.”

“No, not with you.”

He smiled slightly. “Well, that’s something.”

“Why does it even matter?”