Derailed (Clayton Falls #1)(9)
Author: Alyssa Rose Ivy

Just like the previous night, Kelly pulled into a spot out front of Gill’s. Wearing a short jean skirt and a gray tank that had an almost sparkly quality to it and didn’t completely hide the fact that I had a chest, I kind of understood what Kelly was getting at. Still, it’s not like I was wearing a dress.

“We’re right on time. They should be on real soon.” Kelly opened the door and we walked inside. We grabbed a few beers before pushing past the bar.

The Grizzlies must really bring in a crowd, I thought, because the place was twice as packed as the night before. Kelly led us over to a table off to the side. It was close enough we’d get a good view, but not enough to immediately bring us to the band’s attention.

Just as I started to relax, we were interrupted. “So, I’m supposed to apologize to you.” Jake’s body language suggested he wanted to do anything but apologize.

“Don’t bother. You said what you wanted to say.”

He slumped down in a chair. “Are you really not going to argue with me?”

“You sound disappointed,” Kelly said.

“Geez, if you can’t fight with me, what good are you?”

“I guess I’m useless then, sorry.” I shrugged, drinking from my beer. I didn’t have the energy to deal with Jake. I was nervous enough about watching Ben.

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Jake, if you don’t get away from this table in the next five seconds, you’re going to be sorry.” Kelly sounded surprisingly menacing.

“Molly Sander letting other people fight her battles… And I thought I’d seen everything.” Jake pushed back his chair and sauntered away.

“So, imagine what would happen if Jake decided to funnel some of that anger toward other, more interesting pursuits.”

“Interesting pursuits?” I laughed.

“Seriously. I think he gets off when you fight with him, and you aren’t playing along anymore.”

“Ughh, you seriously have the dirtiest mind. How does Tom live with you?”

“He lives with me just fine. He likes what I come up with using my dirty mind.”

I put my head in my hands. “Please, no more details.”

“No more details about what?”

I glanced up. Ronny and a few of his friends joined us. “I didn’t expect to see you here again so soon.”

“You know me, always at the bar.”

“My, you’ve grown up Molly. It’s weird to see you at a bar, drinking,” one of the guys who I recognized as Shayna’s friend Matt said.

“Yeah, I’m growing up.”

“Where’s Nancy tonight?” Kelly asked Matt.

“Home with the kids.”

“Nice wife.”

“Haha. She gets her girls’ nights out. I play fair.”

The conversation died out as the Grizzlies took the stage.

The intro to the first song was instrumental. Ben sat at the piano. He played guitar half the time, but I loved his piano playing best. I was the one who convinced him to integrate piano into the band in the first place. I was happy to see they’d stuck with it. I didn’t recognize the song, but it didn’t surprise me. I doubted they were playing the same stuff after all this time.

Just as I was settling into the light melody, Ben started to sing. His voice made me shiver, just like it always did. Something about his voice got to me. Maybe it was the almost gravelly quality to it, but Ben’s voice touched me in a way no one else’s voice ever did.

I tried to concentrate on the lyrics, something about a forgotten bicycle on a rainy day. Ben sometimes liked to tap into childhood memories in his song writing. This time I could almost believe I listened to a young boy lament leaving his bike in the rain.

Ronny got us another round of beers, and I tried to avoid looking at Ben. Familiar longing moved through me. We may have been apart for five years, but three years of history is hard to erase.

I snuck a glance at him and noticed him staring at me.

Kelly leaned over to whisper in my ear. “It looks like your outfit worked.”

I smacked her arm. “Shut up.”

I started to laugh, and Ben’s lips twisted into a smile. If he was embarrassed to be caught staring, he didn’t show it. Of course, he was also playing a gig.

The set went quickly, and I tried to prepare myself if Ben actually did want to hang out afterward.

“All right, one more song. Any requests?” Ben asked the crowd.

“Play ‘Six Feet Under,’” someone yelled, getting the crowd cheering.

“Uh oh,” Kelly said quietly.

“Why uh oh?”

“It’s about you.”

“He wrote a song called ‘Six Feet Under’ about me? Is it as bad as the name implies?”

“Yeah. Really bad.” Kelly looked down at the table.

“Great, this is exactly what I need. Why the hell did he bother with the invitation if he was going to torture me?”

“I’d say he didn’t expect to play it, but it’s one of their hits. I was going to warn you, but I hoped—”

The music started, interrupting Kelly.

Fifteen and you said you’d love me forever,

Sixteen and you gave yourself to me,

Seventeen and you put me in a grave six feet under.

Whatever happened to forever meaning living and breathing—

No, you had to bring me to my knees.

My chest got tight again. Images from my dreams combined with guilt over ending things with Ben so badly. I finished my beer, eagerly grabbing Kelly’s half-finished one and drinking it as well, hoping to make the pain stop.

I hope you like the world out there,

I hope you like the way he feels,

Maybe one day you’ll remember that you promised forever just to me.

Days became months became years and still no forever, not even a someday—

I just sit here where you put me six feet under, wondering why you punished me.

Then I did the stupidest thing ever; I looked up and met his eyes, saw the pain there, the intense way he looked at me.

Someday I’ll stop waiting,

I’ll stop expecting to be saved,

I’ll accept that you meant to put me here and prefer the way he tastes.

Maybe then I’ll have reached the end.

But until then I’ll sit here where you put me in a grave six feet under, hoping one day you’ll return to rescue me.

I closed my eyes, and all I could see was Adam’s pale and lifeless face. I snapped. Getting up, I grabbed my purse and headed to the door.