Derailed (Clayton Falls #1)(27)
Author: Alyssa Rose Ivy

“Even as I lived my life pretending you didn’t exist, I kept waiting for you to come back to me. I thought I was dreaming when I first saw you at Marney’s, and you told me you were single.”

My chest hurt, and my throat felt like it was closing up. “Ben I don’t know what to say…”

“But I wasn’t dreaming. You are really back, and you’re lying here on my bed with me.”

“Ben—” I tore my eyes away from the wall.

“No. Don’t. Don’t remind me that this is just a casual thing. I get that. And I’m okay with it—at least for now. I just need to have you with me in any way I can get you. Don’t let this scare you away. I don’t expect any more from you.” He pulled me against him again, but this time the gesture wasn’t to give reassurance. He kissed me roughly, his hands equally rough as they kept me at his side. I’m not sure where things would have gone from there if his phone hadn’t rung.

He composed himself for a moment before answering. “Hi, Mom.”

I suppressed a giggle. Awkward. “Yup, Molly’s with me.”

“Umm, sure. We can pick those up. You want us to come right over?”

“All right, we’ll be there soon.”

“We’re okay, right?” he asked after hanging up. “I haven’t completely scared you off, have I?”

I wanted to tell him it wasn’t okay, that I couldn’t be with him if he still had feelings that strong, but I was getting so damn tired of lying all the time. I didn’t want to stay away from Ben. I didn’t want him to stop loving me because I loved him. I just wished I had more to give or that I was strong enough to walk away before I did more damage. But maybe the damage was already done. Maybe he really meant it when he said he’d take me in any way he could. Maybe he could accept me as broken and messed up as I was. I kept all those thoughts to myself. “I’m still here, aren’t I?”

“Yeah, you are.” He smiled before getting up and pulling me to my feet, catapulting me into his arms.

Chapter Twelve

Ben’s parents were waiting for us on the side porch. His mother stood up and hugged me the second she saw us. “It’s so nice to have you here, Molly. I was so happy to hear you were back.”

“Thanks, Mary. It’s nice to be home.” Even though Ben’s dad was always Mr. Mathews, for some reason I’d always called his mother by her first name. I was prepared for a cold reception, not the warm welcome I received, so I didn’t know how to act at first. “Thanks for inviting me for dinner.” Mary hadn’t changed at all. Her long brown hair was pulled back into a low pony tail, and she wore her usual style of casual dress.

“Of course, sweetie. I just wish we didn’t have to twist your arm to get you here.”

Ben jumped in quickly. “Mom, I never even asked her. It’s not like she kept refusing.”

“Yes, but you said you knew she would refuse.”

“Which is true, so please drop it. She’s here now, it’s over.”

I took the argument as a cue to take a seat in one of the Adirondack chairs I’d always loved.

“Can I get you something? I made some sweet tea.”

“Yes, please. That would be great.” She poured me a glass and had Ben hand it to me.

“I can’t seem to get any real answers from my son.” She turned to glare at him. “What brings you back to town?”

“I quit law school and needed a place to catch my breath for a while.” I wished I had a better answer, but that one would have to do. I took a few sips of my tea.

“Do you plan to stay in town long?”

No matter how many times someone asked me the question, I still didn’t have a good answer. “I don’t know. I took a job at Marney’s until I can figure something out. This was a last minute decision.”

“What did you study in school again?” Mr. Mathews asked.

“Political science. Yeah, I know. It’s not really going to help me get a job.”

Ben laughed, taking a seat in the chair next to me.

“If you want more hours than Gail can give you, I am sure I can find you something at the marina. If nothing else, I could hire you to take some new pictures for our advertisements.” Mr. Mathews appeared eager to help.

“Oh, thanks. That’s awfully nice of you, but I’m okay really. Plus, I would take those pictures for free.”

“Not a chance. I’ll pay you. Why don’t you stop by my office sometime, and we can discuss the details?”

“Sure. I can do that.” Maybe I could make some money from photography after all.

“Great. I have to say it’s nice to see you two kids together again. You’ve always made such a good looking couple.” He smiled.

Together again? What had Ben told his parents?

“Dad, we aren’t really a couple. I told you that,” Ben stammered.

Mary leaned forward in her chair. “And if you recall, I told you that no girl like Molly actually wants a strictly sexual relationship.”

Oh my god. Oh my god. This conversation wasn’t happening. Women like Mary didn’t say things like ‘sexual relationship.’ “Could you excuse me for a second?” I sped inside and to the half bath off the kitchen, closing and locking the door behind me.

I splashed some water on my face, trying to figure out how I was going to get myself out of this incredibly awkward situation. I didn’t have my car, and I was on the opposite side of town from my house. I could conceivably walk, but it would take a while. Getting stranded without a car was becoming a pattern.

Before I could work myself up too much, there was a knock on the door. “One minute.”

“Molly, it’s me, honey,” Mary called.

I reluctantly opened the door, trying to compose myself.

“Why don’t we have a little chat? Want to help me husk the corn? Mark just took Ben out front to look at some problems he’s having with the landscaping.”

“Okay.” I didn’t see any other choice. I hoped she didn’t realize just how embarrassed I was.

I took a large bag of corn from the counter and followed Mary back out onto the porch. Removing the first ear, I set to work.

“I didn’t mean to upset you. Sometimes my big mouth gets me in trouble.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” I reassured her.

“Yes, I do. But that doesn’t change anything.”