Derailed (Clayton Falls #1)(38)
Author: Alyssa Rose Ivy

Ben didn’t let go until he had to get ready to play again.

As soon as Ben left, Kelly descended. “Let’s go to the bathroom.”

“All right.” I followed her, ready for the onslaught.

She waited until the door closed behind us. “Still going to tell me you’re just casually exclusive or whatever you were calling it?”

“I don’t know what’s going on, but I can’t stay away from him.” I took an elastic band from around my wrist and pulled my hair back into a ponytail. The bar was hot, and I was nervous about talking to Ben.

“No kidding. He looks like a kid in a candy store, by the way. I think we know how he feels about it.”

“I don’t know what’s going to happen long term, but for now I might just see where it goes.”

She reapplied her lipstick. “You have to tell him the truth about Adam.”

“I know. But not now. I don’t want to ruin it yet.”

“Why would it ruin anything? It won’t change how he feels.”

“Please. Just let it go for tonight.”

“Okay. But it’s going to happen eventually.”

“I know.”

I pushed the thoughts away. We headed back out just as the Grizzlies started the set. Kelly and Tom left before it was over. Tom was still tired from working overtime the night before.

Ben announced he was about to play his last song, and the audience started chanting for “Six Feet Under.” My stomach clenched. He’d promised.

“Sorry, folks, we won’t be playing that song anymore.”

Boos followed.

“Don’t you want to know why?” Ben asked with a grin.

A variety of answers came from the crowd, the most vocal being that they didn’t care.

“She’s come back to me.” Ben smiled right at me before starting in on another one of their songs. The crowd cheered. Evidently they did care.

I was so busy planning what I was going to tell him that I didn’t realize the band had finished. Ben’s arms slid around my waist pulling me back against him. “Any chance I get to take you home tonight?”

“Do I even have to answer that?”

“Let’s get out of here.” He grabbed his guitar, took my hand, and pulled me out the door.

“Wow, where’s the fire?”

“You look too hot tonight.” Ben buckled my seatbelt for me, inpatient and ready to leave. We were on the road within seconds.

He put his hand on my leg, just where the fabric from my skirt ended.

“Can I talk to you about something?”

He looked over at me worriedly. “As long as you’re not about to tell me to drop you off at home, because if that’s what you’re about to ask, the answer is no.”

“No, it’s just that… I’m not so sure I can keep doing this whole casual thing.”

“I’m listening.”

“Can’t you make this easier on me?” I gave him my best pleading look.

“As far as I’m concerned, you became my girlfriend when you agreed to make us exclusive.”

“Wow, am I really Ben Mathews’s girlfriend again?”

He moved his hand under my skirt and squeezed my leg. “Hell yes. It’s about time.”

***

Even though Ben and I had been together many times since I’d been back in town, that night was different. He carried me inside and right to his bedroom, placing me gently down on his bed. He undressed me slowly, and I did the same for him. Neither of us wanted to rush it, afraid of destroying the magic.

“I wish I could take a picture of you right now.” He slid in beside me. He’d pulled down the quilt, and the sheets felt cool below us.

“A picture?” I closed my eyes, enjoying how good it felt to have his hands tracing over my curves.

“Yeah, you look so happy. I’ve missed that.”

“I’ve missed it too.”

***

I fought off sleep, but it wasn’t easy. Wrapped in a cocoon of Ben’s arms, legs, and the sheet, my eyes kept blinking shut. I’d made a mistake. It was the middle of the night, and I didn’t have my car. If I wanted to leave, I’d have to walk home.

I tried to make a to-do list, counted numbers backward, anything to fight it, but I felt my consciousness fading.

Adam’s screams were different. He smiled, almost laughing as I struggled to reach him. “I won’t be alone anymore.” His eyes met mine, and I couldn’t look away.

“What?” Was the hook about to let me go? Would I get to him in time?

“Thanks for giving him to me. It seems you’re building yourself a nice collection.”

“What?”

I looked past him and saw my dad’s head bobbing in the water, but it was the face next to him that turned my blood cold—Ben.

“No!” I screamed, as the hook dropped me into the icy water, but I didn’t fight it this time. I had no reason left to try.

I screamed and thrashed, trying to push away the fragments from the dream. I didn’t understand why I couldn’t move. I should have been able to move.

“Molly? What’s wrong?” Ben’s hoarse voice, heavy with sleep, came from right next to me, and I remembered where I was.

“I’m sorry.” I struggled out of his arms and searched around for my clothes in the dark.

“Where are you going? What’s going on? Did you have a nightmare?” Ben sat upright, still trying to wake up.

“This has to stop! I can’t do this to you too.” I gave up on finding my bra and pulled my tank on.

I threw on my skirt, found my shoes, and headed through the doorway of his bedroom. Reaching up, I traced over the dent in the wall. I’d already caused enough damage.

“Molly! What are you talking about? You can’t just leave.”

“I’ve done it before, haven’t I?” I didn’t wait for a response. I found my purse by the front door and walked outside.

“Wait! What the f**k!?” Ben ran after me.

Catching up to me on his front lawn, he pulled back on my shoulder, spinning me around. “What’s going on?”

I looked at him, standing out in the front yard in just his boxers, wearing an expression like I’d just pulled the rug out from under him—which maybe I had. “I’m leaving.”

“Why? Because you had a bad dream?”

“No, because I can’t be with you.”

“Why the hell not? A few hours ago you were all about it.”