Drowning Instinct(69)
Author: Ilsa J. Bick

Cured is just a synonym for coming around to your way of thinking.

Cured is the word you use when I finally agree.

But here‘s the problem with that, Bobby-o. You and the therapists can yammer until you‘re blue in the face, but I just can‘t agree with you and probably never will.

Because Mitch gave me love. He handed me back my life and that doesn‘t make me a victim.

When I close my eyes, Bob, he‘s there, right in front of me, and all I see in the dark is him.

All I see is him.

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Oooo, you just knocked, Bobby-o. I know it‘s you. Oh, sure, nurses and doctors knock, but they never wait for an invitation. They just barge on in. I think they hate closed doors. Come to think of it, they‘re a lot like parents that way.

Anyway.

I know you‘re chomping at the bit to get at what‘s in this little machine. Well, Bobby-o, here‘s what I say to that.

These are my memories. They are my feelings, and you can‘t have them. Because you‘ll use them against Mitch, dead or alive, and I can‘t let you do that. Not everything Mitch and I had was a lie, and he saved me, Bob: first when he said I had to let him go, and again when he saw that I would die if he didn‘t stop trying to save himself.

So now it‘s my turn to save him.

You want to crucify Mitch? Find someone else. Because these words are mine, Bobby-o; they are mine.

That‘s not to say that I won‘t give you back your recorder, though.

Just give me a sec while I find that little red button, the one labeled era Acknowledgments

Every book is tough. Every relationship, whether it‘s between two people or a writer and her book, is about taking risks. This story was extremely difficult because my intent was to present a situation in which there are no stereotypical predators or victims.

Only a very special editor tolerates and champions that kind of ambiguity. Lucky for me, Andrew Karre is of that rare breed and for this, I offer my sincerest thanks.

Jennifer Laughran has proven yet again to be a fabulous advocate and a writer‘s dream-agent. Thank you, Jenn, for getting what this was about and taking the plunge.

For my stalwart husband, David: I could tell you how wonderful and patient you are, and there still wouldn‘t be enough hours in the day.

One last word about this book: Are these damaged people? Absolutely. Are there monsters in these pages? Yes; one, for sure. Yet many relationships are bound as much by hatred as love; growth may come from damage; and reality is complex.

In my experience, the truly evil are few and good people, with the very best of intentions, often make very bad decisions and get in way over their heads before they know it. People drown, quietly, before our eyes, all the time.