Fallen Too Far

It wasn’t like this was life altering for Nan. Everything she’d ever known hadn’t just been blown to hell. My life had just flipped on its axis. This wasn’t about Nan. This was about me. Me, dammit. Why did they have to protect her? From what did she need protecting?

I parked the truck outside the office and Darla met me at the front door.

"You forget to check the schedule, girl? This is your day off." She was smiling at me but her smile vanished when my eyes met hers. She stopped walking and grabbed the railing on the porch of the office. Then she shook her head. "You know, don’t you?"

Even Mrs. Darla had known. I simply nodded. She let out a long-winded sigh, "I’d heard the rumors like most folks but no knew the whole truth. I don’t want to know it ’cause it ain’t my business but if it’s close to what I’ve heard then I know this hurts."  Darla walked down the rest of the stairs. The commanding little firecracker I knew was gone. She opened her arms when she got to the bottom step and I ran into them. I didn’t think about it. I needed someone to hold me. The sobs came the moment she wrapped me up in her arms.

"I know it sucks, sugar. I wish someone would’ve told you sooner."

I couldn’t talk. I just cried and clung to her while she held on tight.

"Blaire? What’s wrong?" Bethy’s voice sounded worried and I looked up to see her running down the steps toward us. "Oh shit. You know," she said, stopping in her tracks. "I should’ve told you but I was scared to. I didn’t know all the facts. I just knew what Jace had overheard from Nan. I didn’t want to tell you the wrong thing. I was hoping Rush would tell you. He did, didn’t he? I thought for sure he would after the way I saw him looking at you last night."

I eased back out of Darla’s arms and wiped at my face. "No. He didn’t tell me. I overheard. My dad and Georgianna came home."

"Shit," Bethy said in a frustrated sigh. "Are you leaving?" The pained expression in her eyes told me she already knew the answer to that.

I only nodded.

"Where will you go?" Darla asked.

"Back to Alabama. Back home. I have some money saved up now. I’ll be able to find a job and I do have friends there. My mom and sister’s graves are there." I didn’t finish. I couldn’t without breaking down again.

"We’ll miss you around here," Darla said with a sad smile.

I would miss them too. All of them. Even Woods. I nodded. "Me too."

Bethy let out a loud sob and running over to me she threw her arms around my neck. "I never had a friend like you before. I don’t want you to leave."

My eyes filled up with tears again. I’d made a few friend here. Not everyone had betrayed me. "Maybe you could come to Bama and visit sometime," I whispered in a choked sob.

She pulled back and sniffed. "You’d let me come visit?"

"Of course," I replied.

"Okay. Is next week too soon?"

If I could’ve managed the energy to smile, I would have. I doubted I’d ever smile again. "As soon as you’re ready."

She nodded and rubbed her red nose with her arm.

"I’ll let Woods know. He’ll understand," Darla said from behind us.

"Thank you."

"You be careful. Take care. Let us know how you’re doing."

"I will," I replied, wondering if it would be a lie. Would I ever talk to them again?

Darla stepped back and motioned for Bethy to come stand beside her. I waved at them both and opened the truck door to climb in. It was time I left this place behind.

Chapter Twenty-Five

The sigh of relief I expected when I drove under the first out of only three traffic lights in Sumit, Alabama didn’t come. The numbness had taken over completely on my seven-hour drive. The words I’d heard my father say about my mother replayed over and over in my head until I couldn’t feel anything for anyone.

I turned left at traffic light number two and headed for the cemetery. I needed to talk to momma before I checked into the only motel in town. I wanted to let her know that I didn’t believe any of it. I knew what kind of woman she was. What kind of mother she was. No one would ever compare. She’d been my rock when she’d been the one dying. Never had I feared that she’d walk away from me.

The gravel parking lot was empty. The last time I’d been here most of the town had come to pay their last respects to my mom. Today the afternoon sun was fading away and the shadows were the only company I had.

Stepping out of my truck, I swallowed the lump that had risen in my throat. Being here again. Knowing she was here but she wasn’t. I walked down the path to her grave wondering if anyone had come to see her while I’d been gone. She had friends. Surely someone had stopped by with fresh flowers. My eyes stung. I didn’t like thinking she’d been left alone for weeks. I was glad that I’d had them bury her beside Valerie. It had made the walking away easier.

The fresh patch of dirt was now covered in grass. Mr. Murphy had told me he would cover it in sod for free. I hadn’t been able to pay any extra. Seeing the green grass made me feel like she was properly covered as silly as that sounded. Her grave looked just like Valerie’s now. The headstone wasn’t as fancy as my sister’s. It was a simple; it had been all I could afford. I’d spent hours trying to decide exactly what I wanted it to say.

Rebecca Hanson Wynn

April 19, 1967 – June 2, 2012

The love she left behind will be the reason dreams are reached. She was the rock in a world that was crumbling. Her strength will remain. It’s in our hearts.

The family that loved me was no longer here. Standing here looking at their graves it rang home how alone I really was. I didn’t have family anymore. I would never acknowledge my father’s existence after this day.