Falling Awake(70)
Author: Jayne Ann Krentz

“I see.” Farrell sat back, thoughtful now. “Leila won’t be happy to hear this.”

“Yeah, well, my family has never approved of my career choices, you know that.”

“Probably because you’ve never actually had what anyone would call a real career.”

“Enough about me,” she said evenly. “Let’s talk about you.”

“Don’t worry, you’ll be paid for the time you put in as a trainee instructor.”

“I’m not worried about my paycheck. Well, I am, of course, but that’s another issue. At the moment I’m a lot more concerned about you and Leila. I told myself I should stay out of it.” She sighed. “But I just can’t seem to help myself. What’s wrong?”

He stiffened. “What are you talking about?”

“Come on, Farrell, it’s been clear to me from the start that you only hired me because Leila and Tamsyn put pressure on you.”

His mouth thinned. “I admit I wasn’t real keen on the idea of a creative dreaming seminar. Sounded a little too metaphysical and New Agey for the Kyler Method.”

“There’s more to it than that. You’ve been trying to avoid me ever since I got here. When we do come face to face you act like you have an appointment elsewhere. On top of that, my sister is very unhappy. What’s going on, Farrell?”

“Keep your voice down.” Farrell glanced toward the closed door. “I don’t want Sheila to overhear you. We try to maintain a positive, businesslike image around here. The last thing I need is a major scene in my office.”

“I’ve got news for you; if you don’t tell me what’s going on, you’re going to get a full-blown family quarrel right here in your executive suite.”

Farrell studied her speculatively for a few seconds. “You’d do it, wouldn’t you?”

She straightened her shoulders. “Yes, I would.”

“You’re right, you know. This is none of your business.”

“I love Leila and I care about you. We’re family. What do you expect me to do?”

“Try to fix things, of course.” He shoved himself up out of his chair and went to stand at the window. “That’s what you do, isn’t it? Give advice to other people?”

The bitterness in his words made her go very, very still.

“Farrell?” she prompted gently. “Are you seriously ill? Because if that’s the case, you must know that Leila loves you and would want to be there for you, just as you would be there for her.”

“I’m not ill.”

“Thank God.” She relaxed slightly. “But I don’t understand. What else could possibly be so terrible that you would be afraid to talk it over with Leila?”

He stared glumly out the window at the elegant lines of the lobby of Kyler headquarters. “It’s all coming apart, Isabel.”

“What is coming apart?”

“Everything I’ve built during the last four years. That dream I had, the one you and Leila convinced me to make real, has become a nightmare.”

She watched him uneasily. “Define ‘nightmare.’ ”

“I’m overextended financially. I’ve got some big loan payments coming up in three months and I don’t have the cash reserves to make them. Kyler, Inc., is headed straight into bankruptcy. I’m on a runaway train and I don’t know how to stop it.”

“Are you telling me that this is just a business problem?”

He swung around to stare at her. “Just a business problem?”

“I was afraid it was something really serious.”

“For your information, this is about as serious as it gets. But I guess I can’t expect you to see it that way, can I? You’re the one member of the family who isn’t interested in success, the one whose idea of investing is to buy thousands of dollars’ worth of furniture, store it in a rental locker and drop the insurance, the one whose big, long-term goal is to set herself up as a psychic dream consultant. Sure, I can see why you wouldn’t be overly concerned about a little thing like bankruptcy.”

She cleared her throat. “I’m going to let that go for now because, well, because you’re sort of right. But neither my current financial situation nor my career objectives are the issue here. And, no, I’m sorry, Farrell, but I don’t think your business problems are anywhere near as serious as your marriage, and I can guarantee you that Leila will take the same point of view. Why haven’t you told her you’re in trouble?”

“Don’t you understand? I’m supposed to be Mr. Perfect. The man her daddy approved of right from the start.” He jabbed at his chest with his thumb. “I’m the guy who goes on television talk shows and tells people that if they follow my method they can become successful, just like me.”

“You can’t possibly believe that Leila only married you because you’re a success and Dad gave his approval.”

Farrell exhaled deeply. “I know that’s not the sole reason she married me. But I’m also damn sure she wouldn’t have looked twice at a guy who dug ditches for a living.”

“That’s not fair. She loves you, Farrell, and it’s not because you’re successful. It’s because you’re the person you are—a good man with some big dreams. Okay, so maybe some of the dreams aren’t working out. So what? That doesn’t change the important things.”

“It’s not that simple, Isabel.”

She pushed herself to her feet. “Listen up, brother-in-law. My sister is sinking into a deep depression because she thinks Kyler, Inc., has become more important to you than having a family. Trust me, finding out that the reason you’ve been acting weird lately is because you’ve got financial problems is going to come as an enormous relief to her.”

Farrell hesitated, desperation in every line of his body. “How do you know that?”

“I know my sister.” She went to the door. “But try to remember that Leila has a few dreams of her own and that they all involve having a full-time husband who cares about his family. You might not be able to make every dream come true, but you have the power to make that one real, don’t you?”

She went out into the hall and closed the door very quietly behind her.

34

bruce Hopton dropped the heavy, leather-bound logbook onto the desk and flipped it open. “This is the sign-in sheet for the night the old man died. Need anything else?”