Falling Away (Fall Away #3)(93)
Author: Penelope Douglas

“No!”

“Thank you,” I chirped, jetting down the hallway and then the stairs, grabbing Madoc’s keys off the entryway table before slipping out the door.

I had to hand it to Jax about one thing. I was glad he’d taught me to drive a stick. It was the only thing these people drove.

The drive to my house—my mom’s house—took about twenty minutes, and even though it was hard not to speed in Madoc’s car, I took my time.

I wasn’t really worried about her. She always took care of herself.

But the truth was, I never worried about my mom. Her presence was constant, like a lamp or a car, and I hadn’t really thought about her having a life unless I was there to see it. What did she do with herself when I was away at college? What did she think about when she was alone?

Who hurt her to make her so vile?

And now, for the first time in her life, she was causing others to worry.

Pulling up outside the house, I slowly climbed out of the car and shoved the keys in my purse. The brick stairs to my front door loomed ahead of me.

I didn’t care. This wasn’t my responsibility.

But I walked anyway.

Climbing the stairs up my lawn, I took out my key and unlocked the front door, taking in the sight right away of unopened mail spilling over the entryway table and onto the floor.

I studied the heap, letting the door close behind me.

What the hell?

I shifted my eyes left and right, noticing that the rest of the downstairs seemed completely in order.

Clean house, polished floors, everything same as always. Except for the vacuum plugged in and sitting in the middle of the area rug.

Other than that and the mail, everything looked fine. She had to be out of town, and someone was collecting the mail for her.

My shoulders relaxed.

Well, since I was here … I still had clothes, some keepsakes from my father, and—if I could handle it—my vintage Nancy Drew collection that I could pack up and still be back in time for Madoc and Fallon’s party.

I set my stuff down on the round entryway table and jogged up the stairs. Swinging myself around the banister, I pushed through my bedroom door and jerked to a halt.

I sucked in a breath. “Mother?”

She lay on my bed, wearing her navy silk bathrobe, tucked in the fetal position, and I just stared as her eyes fluttered open.

Why was she in my bed?

She focused on the wall, not seeming to notice me in front of her, but then she blinked and looked up.

The sadness in her bloodshot brown eyes paralyzed me. This wasn’t my mother.

Her unkempt hair was stuffed into a messy ponytail, stray hairs falling over her face, and the usual smooth surface of her cheekbones and jaw was now showing visible signs of age and stress.

She’d been crying. A lot.

Her eyes fell, and I watched as her shaky arms pushed her up to a sitting position. She barely had the strength to move.

Her heavy eyes were tired, and I swallowed the fat lump in my throat seeing the misery on her face.

My eyes stung.

“Mother?” I whispered.

And just then her face cracked. She broke into tears and buried her face in her hands, and I watched her, wondering what the hell was going on and if this was real. My heart felt as if it were being torn in two.

Tears blurred my eyes as I scowled at her. This wasn’t real. It was an act.

She was hunched over, sobbing into her hands, and I shook my head, unable to believe her. I had no idea how to take this.

Then I saw my bedside table. There was a picture of my father with me.

Me. Juliet. Not K.C.

I was ten years old, and he had snuck me to a carnival without my mother knowing during one of his stints out of the hospital. He’d kept the picture in his hospital room, but I never knew what happened to it after he’d died.

She’d kept it.

And then I saw another picture. Cracked and dull, the photo was clearly old. Picking it up, I looked into the face of a little girl, standing with two adults. It was my mother as a child with her parents. Her father wore a suit as he stood above her mother, who sat on a chair, stiff with her hands resting in her lap. My mother—about thirteen or so—stood to the side, untouched. No one was smiling.

I looked back down at her, seeing her drop her hands to her lap and keep her head down as she fisted her robe and cried.

I blinked, letting my silent tears spill over. I didn’t know what to do.

I didn’t love my mother. I didn’t even know her.

But as I looked down at her and saw her broken life and the weight of her mistakes crumbling her composure, I felt the despair she must be feeling. What a horror it must be to realize you’ve gone too far to go back. And what pain it must be to have a life full of regret and know there are not nearly enough years to undo the damage.

Through all of her faults—the abuse, the neglect, the pain—she’d lost everything, and I was happier without her. I didn’t fear her, and I could go right now and not lose anything.

But I didn’t go.

I sat down, next to her on the bed, and waited for her to stop crying.

“Hey, you.” Tate fell down next to me on the lawn chair where I sat. “Where’ve you been?”

“To hell and back,” I muttered, sipping my wine cooler. “You know, the usual.”

After my mother had calmed down, I got her in the shower, put her in clean pajamas, and made her eat a sandwich.

She didn’t say a single word the entire time, and after she’d gone to bed—in her own room—I’d stayed until she was asleep.

I’d return tomorrow. And if she finally spoke and said things I didn’t like, I would leave. But I had to go back to check on her. I was strong enough.

“So, where’s your dad?” I asked Tate, looking her up and down and noticing the relaxed demeanor.

She blew out a breath. “Jet-lagged. Went home a while ago.”

I narrowed my eyes, studying her with a slight grin. “Are you drunk, Tate?”

She snorted as if I’d said something funny, and I glanced over and saw Jared, sitting on a chair, staring off as he tipped back a shot of liquor. Aura hovered close to his side, sitting next to him and drawing on his biceps, the one that didn’t currently sport a tattoo. Since she did everyone’s tattoos, it was nothing to see her here. She’d become close to us all. But it was odd to see Jared drinking and Tate …

“You are drunk, aren’t you?” I teased, but still felt somewhat concerned.

“I’m not drunk!” Fallon nearly bowled me over as she crashed to my other side. “I’m severely and illegally buzzed with my father standing right over there but definitely not drunk.”