Falling for the Groomsman (Wedding Dare #1)(24)
Author: Diane Alberts

She shrugged. “To me, you’ll always be him. Nothing you do or say will erase that from my mind.”

“I’ll have to try my best to make it up to you from now on. To make you stop living in the past, and start living in the now.” His arms tightened around her. “And Red? When I want something, I get it.”

She rested her head on his shoulder and wrapped her arms around his neck. “I fear you’re in for a disappointment this time around. I’m not up for grabs.”

“You were a few minutes ago when I was—”

“That’s different.” She looked up at him, her gorgeous eyes stopping him in his tracks. “What we did back there was just sex. Really, really amazing sex. But sex nonetheless. It doesn’t mean you have me. It was just a way to scratch an item off my list.”

He flinched, even though he’d known she would say that. She was determined to keep him at arm’s length. “Tell me about this list.”

“No.” Her fingers flexed on him. “And you can’t make me.”

The hell he couldn’t. Reining in his temper, he took a deep breath. “Fine. Tell me this, then: Do you believe in second chances?”

“I think it depends on the situation.” She stared off into the distance, her hand wrapping around the back of his neck. “But I could use a few of them myself.”

He latched onto that statement, hungry for anything about her. Anything she didn’t tell other people. He’d never met a woman so closed off to talking about herself as her. “What would you do over?”

“I…” She cut herself off, her fingers softening on him. He held his breath, certain she was going to push him away again. Refuse to answer. But she opened her mouth again. “When my parents died…” She looked away from him. “I didn’t take their last call because I was angry with them. Want to know why?”

His heart broke for the pain she must be feeling, still, to this day. “Red…”

“I was mad because they wouldn’t send me more money for food. I’d blown through my monthly allowance in two weeks, and wanted more.”

“You were a kid. You didn’t know—”

“You’re right. I didn’t.” She took a deep breath and rested her head on his shoulder again. “But I’d still like a chance to do it all over again. To answer my stupid phone and tell them I loved them one more time before it was too late.”

“I get that.” He rested his chin on the top of her head. “But they loved you. You know that, right?”

She nodded against his shoulder. “I do.”

“Why did you go to Mexico right afterward like that?” He shifted her weight. “It was three months, but you were still a wreck. You didn’t seem like you really wanted to be there at all.”

“That’s because I didn’t. But if I didn’t go, the girls would have canceled their plans for me, and they were so excited about it.” Her shoulders went tense. “I was going to go home and hang with my brother, but they suggested they do the same. Go with me. I couldn’t make them cancel their plans for me, so I acted as if I wanted to forget and have some fun.”

That made sense, knowing what he knew about her. She was the type of woman who put the needs of someone she loved before her own. He nodded. Time to change the topic. “Wait. You have a brother?”

“Yeah.” She grinned. “You didn’t know that?”

“Nope.” He gritted his teeth. How did he not know that about her? He should have tried to find out more about her long ago. He shouldn’t have tried to shove her away in the past. “Speaking of which, I’d like a few do-overs myself.”

“Let me guess,” she said sarcastically. “Mexico?”

“Yeah, but not what you’re thinking.” He took a deep breath. Should he open himself up to her like this? Why the hell not? It’s not as if she’d get more angry at him than she already was. “I would never have left like I did, if I could go back. I’d have held you all night long, as close as I could. I would have known you had a brother, damn it. Is he older or younger?”

“Younger.” She reared her head back and blinked up at him, her mouth open. “But w-why would you care about that stuff? We haven’t exactly kept in touch over the years.”

“It’s what I should have done, and if I had a chance to do it all over again, I wouldn’t change a thing except instead of running…I’d have stood firm. I wouldn’t have given up so easily.” He met her eyes. “Maybe we would have even been together.”

“I don’t believe you.” She pressed her lips together and shook her head for good measure. “If you regretted it every day, why didn’t you come see me one of the many times you came back to the U.S.? Try to win me over? I mean, I really haven’t seen you at all.”

“I did, once. When I came home a year after Mexico, I passed by a restaurant, and you were inside. I saw you and some brown-haired guy sitting close and talking and laughing, so I backed off. He had his arm around you, and you were resting your head on his shoulder. You looked so…so happy.” He met her eyes, unable to believe he was admitting this shit to her. “I couldn’t bring myself to walk through that door when you were happy and with someone else. What happened to that guy?”

She bit down hard on her lip, not dropping his gaze. She didn’t show much emotion, or at least not that he could read, but she dropped her lids. “Did he have tattoos all down his arms?”

“Yes.” Tyler hugged her tighter to his chest as he stepped over a log. “Who was he?”

She opened her mouth, closed it, and let out a little sound that might have been a moan. “My brother I was just talking about. He was in the military, and he’d gotten in some trouble back home. He’d just signed up with the marines, and we were saying good-bye before he went to boot camp.”

Relief hit him hard and fast. “Oh.” He stepped over a fallen branch. “Shit.”

“Yeah.” She rested her head on his shoulder again. “But, you know, I haven’t been a nun all these years. I have been with other men.”

He stiffened, the relief going away in a blink of the eye. “I’d rather not think about that.”

“That came out wrong. I’m trying to say is that I wasn’t a broken shell of a woman who couldn’t live without you because you left or anything. I was fine. Happy, even.”