Find You in the Dark (Find You in the Dark #1)(73)
Author: A. Meredith Walters

When I was finished, Clay carefully lifted me up and I angled myself so that I could slide down on top of him. Clay pulled my mouth back down to his as I held him inside of me. Not breaking our kiss, Clay moved his hands until he held my hips and I started to move up and down, enjoying the control I had.

“I love how I feel inside you.” He whispered against my lips as I pressed into him, taking him as deep as he could go. “You’re mine. Forever.” He groaned as I started to pick up the pace. I broke off our kiss so that I could throw my head back, bracing myself against his chest.

Suddenly, Clay grabbed a hold of me and flipped me on my back, pushing into me as he laid me down. I moaned loudly as I wrapped my legs around his waist in an effort to keep him buried inside me. “I love you so much.” I panted as we moved our bodies together. After weeks of madness and separation, we came together in one beautiful cacophony of need and desire.

Together, like this, I felt we could take on anything. Clay moaned as I clenched myself around him and he kissed me deeply as he went as far as he could into my body. I opened my eyes to find Clay watching me with such tender sadness that it took my breath away.

I reached up to run my fingers over his face. “What is it?” I asked breathlessly, never stopping the perfect rhythmic movements with him. Clay smiled, a truly gorgeous smile. “I just love you so much. Sometimes it hurts.” “I don’t want it to hurt, Clay. Our love should make you feel wonderful.” I told him, even as I almost wanted to laugh at how cheesy I sounded.

Clay didn’t say anything more as we each began to build toward a burning explosion. Clay wrapped his arms around me, burying his face in my hair as I shattered around him. Finally, he surged into my body one last time as he came and we lay against each other, too tired to move. Clay pushed up on his elbow and brushed my sweat soaked hair off of my forehead. He kissed my eyelids before rubbing my nose with his. I laughed at his affectionate gesture.

He took my hand and placed it over his heart. The frantic beat strong against my palm. “This is all I need. You, me, together.” He said, still a little breathless. I picked up his hand and kissed his palm. Clay pulled out of me and rolled us both onto our sides, so that he held my back against his chest.

“Get some sleep, baby.” He said quietly in my ear, kissing the back of my neck. So we fell asleep wrapped up in each other, unwilling to think any more of the reality we would find ourselves thrown back into when we woke.

Chapter Twenty-Two

I awoke the next morning to the sound of my cell phone beeping. I had a moment of disorientation as I tried to figure out where I was. Then it all came back to me. I rolled over to find Clay sound asleep beside me, his hand reaching out as if he had been searching for me in his sleep.

I got out of bed and looked down, realizing I was naked. I went into the bathroom and changed into a clean pair of jeans and a t-shirt. I debated whether I should rinse my mouth out with shampoo but decided against it. Instead, I swished some water and spit it out. I still had demon breath, but it would have to do until we bought some toothpaste.

My cell phone beeped again. I looked at Clay; he hadn’t stirred. He looked so young as he slept. The tension on his face melted in relaxation. I smiled at how good he looked laying there in the bed. I found my phone on the bedside table and turned it on.

A new text waited. It was from Rachel. Where are you?!?! Your parents are freaking out! You better call me ASAP! I sighed. I quietly left the motel room. Once outside I dialed Rachel’s number. She answered on the first ring.

“WHAT IS GOING ON, MAGGIE?!” She shrieked into the phone. I pulled the receiver from my ear. “Chill out, Rach. You’re going to bust my ear drum.” I said lightly. “Don’t give me your blase crap. Why did you and Clay take off? Your parents called me at five o’clock this morning and they are absolutely, 100 percent flipping out! You had better have a good reason for all of this.” I could tell she was angry. I would have felt the same way had our roles been reversed. I knew I owed her an explanation.

I sat down on the curb outside of our room. “Clay is going through some major stuff right now and my parents were being unreasonable. He needed me.” She huffed on the other end. “Not good enough, Mags. Now cut with the bullshit and fess up. Because I swear if you feed me some stupid song and dance about young love I’ll bash your head in the next time I see you!” Rachel seethed.

“Fine, you want to know the truth? Clay has bi-polar disorder as well as something called Borderline Personality Disorder. Don’t ask me what it all means, because I really don’t know. Anyway, he had just gotten out of the hospital before he moved up here and now his parents are in town and threatening to lock him back up. And his crazy moods and temper are all because he’s been on and off his meds. Plus, he really needs therapy, but so far has refused it. We’re just trying to figure everything out, okay? He needs me! And I need him to be healthy.” I finished my rambling explanation and waited for my friend’s response.

“Rachel?” I said into the void. “I’m here.” She said quietly. I didn’t like the tone of her voice. “I had no idea all this was going on. Why didn’t you say something sooner?” She asked me.

“It wasn’t really my story to tell.” I said simply. I heard Rachel cluck her tongue. “But you know you can’t save him. He needs serious help. Help from people who know what they’re doing when it comes to that kind of stuff. If he’s not taking his meds like you said, than there’s nothing you can do.” She paused. “Maybe his parents are right. Maybe he needs to go somewhere where he can get some major treatment.”

I was shocked and deeply hurt by her reaction. How could she side with those horrible people? She was supposed to be my best friend. “No. I can’t let them do that to him.” I bit out coldly. Rachel sighed. I could almost see the exasperated expression on her face.

“How could you do this to your parents? Don’t you think they would have understood if you just told them? They love you and they’re worried sick.” I felt the guilt flip in my gut. I hated that she reminded me of what I was doing to the other people I loved.

“You just don’t get it.” I sulked. “Oh, I get it alright. You’re on a one woman mission to save Clay Reed from himself. I get that you love him. But there are times when love ain’t enough sweetheart, and I have a very bad feeling he’s just going to take you down with him. Not that he means to. But that’s just what happens.” She seemed to be speaking from experience.

“What do you know about any of this? What do you know about Clay and what he’s going through?” I asked hatefully. “Listen. My grandmother suffered from bi-polar disorder as well as a slew of other mental illnesses, if you must know. I saw first hand the nightmare she put my grandfather and my mother through. It wasn’t pretty. She refused to get help too. And you know what happened?” She barked at me. I was shocked to hear this. I had no idea that her grandmother had suffered from any kind of mental illness. Rachel had never mentioned it.