Flawed Love

Mimi wears a scorching little red number, and pairs it with the shoes she stole from me that I stole from my sister. She leaves her blond hair down, too, only hers is tack straight. We put a light dusting of makeup on, and then collect our purses. We’re ready to go, and the closer we get to seeing Rainer again, the more I want to vomit in my mouth.

But he was my friend once—surely nothing has changed.

~*~*~*~

The bar Rainer owns is packed for its size. There are people mingling outside, lining up nearly around the block, and when we get in, it’s full. People are dancing, and sitting at booths, not to mention playing countless games of pool. Mimi starts wiggling her ass the moment we’re past the front entrance, and I follow behind her, my heart in my throat as I let my eyes scan the space.

I don’t see him.

We go to the bar and order a drink, and still, I don’t see him. Maybe we got the wrong place? I swallow the drink back and take another one, then I join Mimi on the dance floor as we kill time. I try to picture the Rainer I remember in my head, and it’s hard to think of him as a man. When I saw him last, he was twenty and only just starting to change from teenage boy to man.

He’d be over thirty now.

I picture him in my head, with his dark brown eyes and long, dark hair. He always kept his hair around his shoulders, like the rebel he was. He was tall, and he always had a good amount of bulk, even at a young age. He had the most amazing bronze skin, giving him a mysterious, exotic look. Rainer was beautiful, the kind of man to ruin you for any other male.

“Can you see him?” Mimi yells into my ear.

“No,” I call back.

“We’ll dance until he shows up. This bar is great.”

I nod and we dance, and dance, and dance. What seems like hours pass, and still there’s no Rainer. I’ve gone through three drinks and two bottles of water, because this dance floor is making me crazy sweaty. I wave to Mimi and point to an empty booth. She nods and gives me the thumbs up, and I make my way over to it, dropping down on my ass and sighing with relief. It’s much cooler here.

I sit at that booth for another hour, when finally a man appears at the bar. I’m way too far back to see if it’s Rainer or not, but whoever it is, he’s massive. I stand and push through the crowd, keeping my eye on the guy who is grinning at a pretty, strawberry-blond woman, who is sitting by herself on a barstool. My heart starts pounding as I near, wondering if it’s him.

The anticipation is killing me.

When I’m close enough to study his face, I do just that. I look at him, and I know, I just know. I suck in a shaky breath, because oh, oh wow, he’s so . . . breathtaking. Rainer always had good looks, but now . . . God, now he’s panty-melting handsome, dangerous and rugged, sexy as sin. The more I study him, the more my heart pounds.

He’s mesmerizing.

His eyes, which were always dark brown, seem almost black in this light. His hair is cropped a lot shorter than I ever remember and is now only a few inches long, the bottom curling around his collar. It’s messy, and sexy. He’s got a cover of two-day growth on his chin and around his mouth, and his face is so masculine it almost hurts to look at him.

His body, oh God, his body, it’s double the size I remember. He’s taller and so much bigger. He’s a mass ball of muscle. His biceps are bulging from his black tee, and his forearms are probably bigger than my legs. He’s ripped. Hardcore. I don’t realize I’m tearing up until I feel a subtle burn behind my eyelids. I take a deep, shaky breath, and walk over to the bar, stopping next to the strawberry-blond girl he was just talking to.

She’s watching me, but I’m too busy watching him. My lip is trembling and my eyes are wide as I look at the only person I ever shared my soul with. God, I’ve been through so much with this man, and I honestly thought I’d never see him again, and yet here I am, right in front of him.

He slides the girl a drink, smiling at her, showing two dimples that I remember so well. Then he turns his eyes to me. I wait for it, my heart pounding, my skin clammy, and my eyes big and round. I wait for him to recognize me, but it never comes. He just stares at me, his face blank, absolutely no recognition in his depths.

“Can I get you something?”

It feels as if someone has slapped me hard across the face. He doesn’t know who I am. I spent more than seven years being his best friend, he took my virginity, and he doesn’t know who I am. My face must register the hurt, but he seems not to notice. I don’t know what to do, what to say or how to feel. I only just manage a croaky, “No, ah, no. It’s fine.”

Then, with a broken heart and a body full of shame, I turn and rush out. The girl who was sitting at the bar follows me, and catches me at the entrance. Maybe she’s his girlfriend—who knows? “Hey, are you okay?” she asks, her blue eyes full of concern.

“Ah, I’m sorry, do I know you?”

She shakes her head. “I just saw that you were upset with Rainer. I wanted to see if you were okay?”

I was right; she knows Rainer but what she means to me, I have no idea. Still, I ask, “You know Rainer?”

She nods. “Yeah, do you?”

I look over to him, already talking with another person, as if I was never there. Nothing prepared me for this. I thought he’d be angry, maybe even excited, but never in a million years did I think he’d forget me. “I thought I did.”

Then I turn and run out.

CHAPTER TWO

THEN – MALI

“Give me a ride, jerk-face,” I snap, slapping Rainer’s truck with my open hand.

“Hell no. You’ll kill my cool, woman.”

I cross my arms and tap my foot. Rainer just grins at me.

“You’re seriously going to make me walk home?” I say, jumping up and leaning through the window.

He puts a hand to my forehead and pushes me out. “Hell yes I am. I’m taking Missy home.”

“Missy is a ho.”

He winks at me. “Good for me then.”

“You’re a piglet. Come on, Rai, I don’t wanna walk! You can poke Missy anytime.”

He snorts. “Down, tiger. I have business to take care of.”

I huff and jump off his truck, turning just in time to see Missy approaching. She’s the prettiest girl in school, so of course she’s in love with Rainer, considering he’s the best-looking guy in school. At least to everyone else but me, anyway. Okay, that’s kind of a lie; I can admit he’s good looking. Horribly so. Damn him. The older and more popular he gets, the more I feel like an ugly little boy next to him.

I’m no Missy.

Is her hair even real? I don’t think so. It looks fake blonde, like the yellow type, but it’s long and flowy. It’s her body and her face that get men. She’s got big knockers, which are most certainly fake. I heard a rumor that her parents paid for them. She’s all ass and tits. Her face is pouty, with big lips and giant brown eyes. She’s like a doe-eyed little dear, when really she’s as loose as a horny dog.

“Better get walking, Nerdy Turdy.” She smirks at me as she steps up to Rainer’s truck. “It’s going to rain.”

“Best you jump in then, Spastic Plastic. I wouldn’t want you to melt.”

Rainer snorts from the truck and her lips pout as she glowers at me. She swings the door open and I blow Rainer a dramatic kiss. He winks at me, and I turn before I can witness him suck-facing with Missy. Walking home it is. Fine by me. I probably need the exercise after the eight doughnuts I had today. Damn their doughy goodness.