Flawed Love

“Okay, caveman,” I mutter, glaring at him. “No offence, but I don’t get any say in who you date . . . so . . .”

He keeps his arms crossed.

I sigh.

“Whatever. Come on, Kenny, we have to get to class.”

“Don’t do it, Emy,” Rainer warns as I walk away.

“See ya, Rai Rai. Call you later.”

He mutters something at me but I don’t stop, I exit the cafeteria with Kenny and we head off to class. My next class is with him, but after that I’m on my own. I wander down the halls, off in my own little world. So much so I don’t realize that Jack is right behind me until his warm hand curls around my upper arm. I turn and jerk in surprise. I never thought he’d actually approach me.

“Hey.” He smiles. “Emalie, right?”

Oh God.

“Ah . . .” Shit, shit, shit. Get it together. “Yes.”

“I’m Jack.”

“I know,” I blurt, then my cheeks begin to burn.

God, I’m way cooler than this. What the hell is wrong with me?

Jack flashes a killer grin, dimples and all. Gosh he’s good looking.

“I was just wondering if you might like to go out with me?”

Say what? Is he serious? He wants to go out with me? He could have any girl here. Why the hell would he want to go out with me?

“Ah, is this a joke?” I say, narrowing my eyes.

He crosses his arms, actually looking offended. “Why would it be a joke?”

“Have you seen yourself? And have you seen me?”

“Yes, and yes.”

“I . . . you could have anyone,” I protest, a little lamely.

“I’m askin’ for a date.” He smiles warmly. “Not marriage.”

I laugh nervously. “Well, yeah, okay then.”

His smile gets bigger. “You got a phone number I can have?”

I swing my backpack around, nearly hitting him in the face. I laugh nervously again, and pull out my cell phone. I recite the number and he gives me his.

“I’ll call you. We’ll work something out.”

“Okay,” I breathe.

“Later, Emily.”

Emily. No one calls me Emily. My name is either shortened to Emy or left as Emalie, but never spelled differently. It’s kind of nice. I flush.

“Later.”

Yippee!

~*~*~*~

I smile down at my phone as my fingers glide across the keys in response to Jack’s latest text. We’ve been texting for the last week, and the more I talk to him, the more I like him. He’s funny, and smart, and so easy to talk to. We’re going on a date tomorrow night, and I’m over-excited about it. I can’t wait.

“Who the fuck do you keep texting?”

I look up from my phone and over to Rainer, who’s driving me home. He’s glaring at me, but he can’t do it for long as he focuses back on the road.

“Jack.”

“Seriously?” he grunts. “I warned you about him.”

“He’s a nice guy, Rainer.”

“He’s a jerk.”

I sigh and look over to him. “We’re friends, right? We’ve been friends for a lot of years. I’m not your girlfriend, but I do respect what we have enough to listen to you. However, this time you’re wrong. Can you drop it, please?”

“Whatever. And what the fuck are you wearing?”

I glance down at the new pair of skinny jeans I begged Mom to buy me. I don’t know, I guess I want to look nice for Jack. Though I’m still sporting a semi-baggy tee. And my chucks. Always my chucks.

“These are jeans. Get with the new age, dude.”

“They’re painted on.”

I throw my phone into my purse and turn, crossing my arms. “What the hell, Rai? You’re being a dickhead. Can we not do this? I’ll date whoever the fuck I want.”

He pulls the truck over suddenly and turns to me. “I’m your friend. I’ve known you longer than any of those fuck knuckles. I’m not going to let some douchebag fuck you and leave you with a broken heart.”

“And I love you for that,” I say, my voice softer now. “But I’m seventeen, Rainer. I know what’s right and wrong. I’m not just going to let him dive in on the first date.”

His brown eyes narrow. “He’s bad news.”

“So is Missy, but I’m not telling you to stop.”

He grunts. “I’m a man. I can look after myself.”

“Yeah, well, I can look after myself too. Believe it or not. I know you’d rather I shack up with someone like Kenny, but I deserve better, and I like Jack.”

“I didn’t mean what I said the other night.” He sighs. “I was only tryin’ to look out for you.”

“By saying the best I can get is a greasy, nerdy geek? And don’t get me wrong, I adore Kenny, but that hurts, Rai.”

He runs a hand through his hair. “Fuck. Look, just be careful, okay? And don’t change who you are.”

“Who I am will never change.”

He points to the jeans.

“I’m allowed to care about how I look.”

“Yeah,” he says, pulling back onto the road. “Right.”

He’s angry with me, and I truly don’t know why. I say nothing as he pulls up to my house and stares straight ahead as I swing the door open and climb out. “You want to hang tonight?” I ask.

“No,” he grunts.

I sigh. “Okay, Rai.”

Then I shut the door and he speeds off.

Dammit.

Now I feel bad . . . and I don’t even know why.

CHAPTER FIVE

NOW – MALI

“This is it?” Rainer asks, nodding at my apartment.

“Yeah,” I whisper, staring out the window.

I’m still drunk; I won’t lie. If I weren’t, I’d be scrambling out of this car right now. I turn and glance at Rainer, who has his eyes on my neck. Oh. My. God. He’s looking at me as if he wants to . . . he couldn’t . . . could he? His eyes slowly move up and meet mine, and I swallow the thick lump forming. Rainer is looking at me right now as if he wants to fuck me.

Fuck me.

My body breaks out in little tingles as I stare at his lips, and I decide I’m too drunk to care if he wants to fuck me or doesn’t. I want to fuck him. I’d do anything to taste those lips, to slide my mouth over that neck, to feel his cock inside me again. It’s been so long, and I was just a teenager back then. I’m a woman now, and he’s everything I need. He’s everything I’ve always needed.

“You should get out,” he says, his voice husky. “I’m not the good kind of man, Mali.”

I bite my bottom lip.

We sit in silence for a few minutes.

“How do you mean?” I finally say.

“I don’t do relationships; I do one-night stands. I fuck. I don’t ask names. If you keep looking at me like that, you’ll be on that list, and you’re too damned sweet to be someone’s fuck for a night.”

He’s wrong.

I want to be his fuck for a night.

“What makes you think I’m any different to you?” I say, unclipping my seatbelt and leaning over the chair. “What makes you think I don’t just want a one-night stand?”