Flawed Love

His eyes flash and he reaches up, curling his fist into my hair. He jerks softly and I whimper. A low, throaty growl escapes his lips. “Out of the car. Now, kid.”

“No,” I breathe, sliding over the seat and straddling his lap.

He’s huge, so much bigger than I ever remember. His cock is pressing between my legs, rubbing against my heat just enough to cause the perfect friction. I meet his eyes and I can see he doesn’t want to fight.

“I’m not a good man. You hear me?”

“And I’m not a good woman.”

He makes a pained, throaty sound and presses his forehead against mine.

“I just want a night of fun, Rainer. If you’re willing to give it, I’m willing to take it.”

“I fuckin’ hate doing this.”

“No,” I say, reaching between us and grabbing the top button of his jeans. “You don’t. You offered me a ride home for a reason, and we both know what that reason is.”

“You’re beautiful,” he says, studying my face. “Fuck, I feel like I know you somehow.”

I freeze and turn my eyes away. He does know me; he just doesn’t recall it. Maybe something tragic really did happen to him, and that would explain his lack of memory. Or maybe I just never meant as much to him as I thought I did.

“Why did you look away?” he asks.

“I just want to fuck. Can we not make it any more complicated?” I say, my voice slightly shaky.

I reach into his jeans and curl my fingers around his cock. He hisses out through his teeth and his hand goes over, reaching into the glove compartment to pull out a condom. He holds my eyes as he takes his cock from my hand and slowly rolls it on. He’s big, thick and perfect. Just like he always was. I know how amazing this cock feels inside me.

I’ll never forget.

He reaches over to me and slides my dress up, his rough fingers grazing my thighs as the dress moves. Then he reaches for my panties. It’s not going to be easy to pull them off, considering I’m straddling him. He stares at them, then me, and with one hard jerk, the material tears and I’m pantiless. I gasp, but it’s quickly smothered when his fingers find my pussy.

I lean forward, wanting to taste him, wanting to remember how soft his lips are, but he turns his head away. “I don’t kiss, kid.”

“Have you got an infection or something?” I squeak.

“No, I just don’t do it.”

Okay. Well. Awkward.

I turn my face back and focus instead on his fingers sliding through my pussy. He’s soft, slow and delicate. His fingers, while rough, are working me over with such ease. He swirls my moisture around my clit, making it hard, making it ache. Then he uses his free hand to lift my hip so he can position his cock at my entrance.

I hold my breath.

He starts sliding me down over him. A gasp leaves my lips and quickly turns into a throaty moan as he fills me, stretching me, opening me to him. I’ve only had a few men since Rainer, and most were one-night stands. It’s been a good long time since I’ve been filled liked this. Rainer notices and lets out a low, raspy moan.

“You’re fucking tight,” he grunts. “Jesus.”

“It’s been a while,” I whisper, arching into him.

“Thought you said you like casual sex?”

I gasp as he jerks his hips up and fills me fully. “I do,” I breathe. “Oh God. Fuck. I do. It’s just been a while.”

“You don’t fuckin’ say,” he grinds out between his teeth. “Fuck. So fuckin’ good.”

Good. He thinks it feels good.

I put my hands on his shoulders, feeling his muscles bulging beneath my palms. I want to massage them, to roam my hands over his big body until I’ve had my fix. I breathe him in and try to place his smell in my memory, in a place I’ll never forget. I never want to forget anything that happens between Rainer and I.

He uses my hips to move me up and down on his cock, and pleasure bursts through my body. I slap a hand against the truck window and let my head fall back, hair trailing down to touch his thighs. He frees one hand and captures my breast, rolling my nipple between his thumb and forefinger through the fabric of my dress. I whimper at the pleasure and start rocking harder and faster until I’m riding him so hard the seat creaks.

“Holy fuck,” he hisses. “I’m goin’ to come soon. Fuck, you ride hard.”

“So close,” I cry out, rocking my hips harder against his cock, grinding myself until I feel the orgasm hanging by a thread.

Rainer reaches down and finds my clit, giving it a few hard rubs and I explode around him. His name trails from my lips and I don’t even realize my hand is curled in his hair until the shivers stop and my vision clears. Rainer is still thrusting his hips upwards, so I keep the pace until I feel him thicken inside me and then he comes with a ragged grunt.

I release his hair and drop my hand from the window, seeing the steamy mark that quickly fades away. I take a few moments to catch my breath, and then I slide off him, putting myself back on the seat. I press my head back into it and close my eyes, placing a hand over my racing heart and staying like that until it calms down.

“You okay?” he asks, and my eyes flutter open.

“Ah,” I manage. “Yeah.”

He nods, tying the condom and shoving it in a plastic bag he finds on the ground beneath my feet. Then he pulls his jeans back in place and does them up, eyes not meeting mine. He really doesn’t know how to connect. It’s written all over him. Suddenly things are awkward, and it would appear he wants me to get out so he doesn’t have the horrible task of asking me to.

It hurts, but I plaster a smile on my face and lean down, grabbing my panties. “Right,” I say, pulling my dress down. “Thanks for the ride.”

He snorts a little bit, and I can’t help the laugh that bubbles up.

“I meant the ride home,” I say, swinging the door open. I get out and look back at him, and he’s watching me intently. “But the other ride was great too. See you around, Rainer.”

He opens his mouth to say something, but I slam the door.

I have no idea what I just got myself into, but I have a feeling it wasn’t the right path to take.

~*~*~*~

“Wait a second,” Mimi says, pacing the room with her arms crossed. “So he spoke to you, gave you a ride home, and then you fucked him in his truck?”

I bring my legs up to my chest and curl my arms around them. “Yeah.”

“You fucked him?”

I nod.

“In his truck?”

I nod again.

“Right outside the house?”

I roll my eyes.

“What the hell is going through your head?” she shrieks.

I sigh. “I was drinking, and . . . I just . . . God, I missed him so much.”

“So you let him use you?”

“No. I needed that as much as he did.”

“No,” she says, waggling a finger in my face, “what you needed was to tell him the truth. Not to dig yourself a bigger fucking hole to get out of.”

I throw my hands up. “What’s the fucking point telling him the truth, Mimi? He doesn’t remember me, and there’s obviously a reason for that. If I tell him who I am, there’s still a good chance he won’t remember me. Worse, he might shut down, and I’ll never figure out what happened to him.”