For You(61)
Author: Mimi Strong

She’s not too old to make forts in the living room, though.

Natalie gave us some of their furniture when they downsized, and now I have a cream sofa that I have to worry about keeping clean.

We still have our thrift-store sofa downstairs, and I swear it’s more comfortable.

The ceiling is low in the basement, especially since Sawyer added that foam that looks like egg cartons, to make it better for band practice.

He’s still working at his father’s shop, where they make custom mill-work for fancy houses. They do everything from cabinets to tables and chairs to custom shelving, like those bookcases with the glass doors on them.

It’s the kind of work where he’s usually done at five o’clock and home by five-thirty.

He’s home just in time that we can eat dinner before Bell gets cranky.

Sawyer is still making his art, but he’s not taking commissions anymore. He just paints or draws what he feels like making, and if someone likes what he’s made, he’ll sell it or give it to them.

I’m the one who uses his paintbrushes the most. He got me started with a few pointers, and now I’m painting things. Just silly stuff, like flowers and fruit, but it’s fun. There’s no purpose to what I paint, no agenda, but it makes me happy. I can understand why there’s such a thing as art therapy.

On Wednesday nights plus weekends, Sawyer turns into a rock star. Now he’s the bass player in his friends’ band, and the other guy is the spare. Sawyer sings backup on a few songs, and he’s so cute when he’s concentrating. He says he only forgets lyrics when I’m down there watching, but I’ve heard him forget plenty of times when I’m upstairs.

The first time he told me he loved me was right after we’d been to the RCMP detachment for me to make my sworn statement about what I’d seen in the trailer. I’d gotten a deal that they wouldn’t press charges against me for my role in attempting to destroy evidence, as well as taking my sister over the border, but I still worried they’d haul me away on some technicality.

We’d sat in this awful room that reeked of disinfectant, and by comparison, giving my statement hadn’t been that terrible. Not compared to the waiting.

It had been four years since Derek was killed, and imagining the sight of the body still shook me, but I could also look at it in a new way, like a picture that I was outside of. Detached. In a good way.

We walked out, and the sky was already getting dark, plus it was drizzling rain.

There was a Tim Horton’s across the street, and Sawyer made a joke about cops and donuts.

“I could go for a donut,” I said.

“You have the best ideas.”

Bell was with her grandparents, and we had the rest of the evening free, so we crossed the road and got our sugar fix.

Sawyer pulled something out of his pocket and handed it to me.

As I opened the little box, he said, “Aubrey, I love you.”

Without hesitation, I said, “I love you, too. What’s this?”

He laughed. “That was easy. I wish I’d said it to you sooner.”

I pulled the ring out of the box, admiring the heart and the gemstones.

“It’s just a little token,” he said.

“Nobody’s ever given me a ring before.”

“That explains why you look so confused.” He took it from me and tried it on my fingers until we found one it fit. “I wanted to give this to you at the barbecue, but then you stole my car.”

“Yeah, sorry about that.”

His green eyes sparkled at me. “I forgive you. Just don’t do it again.”

I glanced over my shoulder, back to where we’d just come from.

The ordeal was nearly over. Bell’s father, Terry, said he wasn’t going to contest my application to adopt Bell, but he did want to see her some time, when she was ready.

I still hadn’t explained to her about her mother, and I planned to wait until she was at least twelve. Natalie was going to put me in contact with a family counselor who could help me sort things out.

But for now, things were good. I had to keep reminding myself.

The shining ring on my finger would certainly go a long way to helping me remember.

We drove back to the house, and enjoyed some time together, just the two of us.

We made love in our shared bed, and as we held each other afterward, he traced his fingers all over my body, asking me, “Here? How about here?”

I’d wanted to surprise him, but I didn’t like keeping anything from him, even something so small.

“Here,” I said, pointing to the inside of my hip bone. “But can you make the frog look happier in the drawing?”

“Anything for you, my love,” he said, and he kissed me on the inside of my hip bone, and then all over.

We didn’t get out of bed for hours, and our lovemaking was all the sweeter with a ring on my finger.

Sawyer said it was just a little token, but it was more than that.

I didn’t just have a ring with a heart on it. I had someone who loved me, and wanted me to know it. I had family and friends, and just like my finger had a band of gold around it, I felt like I had an aura of love and support around me.

And that wasn’t just a little token. It was everything.

the end