Four Letter Word (Page 42)

I wasn’t going to allow that to happen. But he spoke before I could.

“I should go,” he suggested.

“Brian, wait. Don’t.” I sat up and tucked my knees close to my belly. “I wanted that to happen, okay? I’ve wanted it for a while now. Maybe since the beginning.”

“Syd …”

I didn’t let him finish. I had to get this out before I couldn’t get it out.

“I think about you all the time, too,” I rushed. “More than I probably should because we’ve never actually met, but that’s the only reason why I shouldn’t think about you this much. It doesn’t make sense. I’ve never laid eyes on you, but I don’t care because I like thinking about you and I love talking to you, and what we just did together.” I closed my eyes and softened my voice. “I really really liked that, too. It wasn’t a mistake, and …and I won’t let you think it was. I won’t.”

I stared at my knees and waited. I fought the urge to crawl under my bed and hide until winter.

“Your husband is a fucking moron,” he growled seconds later.

I sat up straighter and pressed my fingers to my lips. I felt them curl.

Oh …wow.

He just totally said that. Brian’s never said anything about Marcus before. He’s only listened to me bash him or retell our history, commenting to let me know he was with me and listening, but that was it. That’s all he’d ever given me.

Until now, when he just totally said that.

I was grinning so big I was afraid my lips were going to stretch out and never fall back looking right again.

Too bad I totally didn’t care if that happened or not.

This felt great!

“Gotta let you go, babe,” Brian said.

My grin turned into a pout, and I quietly pleaded, “Not yet.”

“Not gonna sit here and talk to you with jizz on my stomach.”

“Oh.”

I blushed and slid back down the bed, covering half of my face with my hand.

“Yeah, oh,” he repeated with a hint of humor. “Talk to you tomorrow.”

I was suddenly grinning again.

We would talk tomorrow, and maybe do more of that.

I couldn’t wait.

“Okay, Brian.”

“Later, Wild.”

“Later.”

I disconnected the call and fell asleep in full eighties gear without stripping the gunk out of my hair or anything. I didn’t care.

I’d have Brian again tomorrow.

Chapter Nine

BRIAN

Things were different with Sydney now. Different in a way I knew we’d never go back to what we had before she came both soft and savage in my ear.

Three times now I’d stroked my dick to her sounds while confessing my own desires. I didn’t give a shit, and I told her. Straight up. She knew what I was thinking about, and it drove her fucking wild, spurring her own indecent thoughts and the courage to share them with me, thoughts that were getting filthier and filthier with each passing day.

She shared them. All of them. She didn’t give a shit either.

“Brian,” she whispered, her breaths growing quicker and heavier. “I’m so little down there. Do you think you could fit?”

And, “What does your dick look like? Describe it to me.”

And, “I want to taste it after you’ve fucked me.”

“God, Brian …Brian.”

“Please. Yes. Yes. Yes.”

And, “Fuck …oh, fuck!”

Not participating in our phone sex wasn’t an option, not unless I suddenly became deaf. I’d die from lack of blood flow to my brain if I sat there and ignored my throbbing cock. And truth be told, I was experiencing the best orgasms of my life with Sydney moaning in my ear.

Give that up now? Fuck that.

I didn’t want to go back to what we had before. I wanted both, her sweet laugh and the way her voice hitched when she came. Our random conversations and unguarded desires.

I needed both, but I had two major fucking problems that could and were causing serious issues for me the longer I ignored them.

First, Sydney was here, in motherfucking Dogwood Beach, where I could see her anytime I wanted, and I wanted.

God, I wanted. It was torture denying myself.

I saw her that night we first slipped over the line dividing friendship and more so I knew exactly what I was missing.

Temptation personified, with luminous eyes, a killer fucking body, and hair that looked tangled and worked from my hands.

I was concealed in the dark waiting for Jamie and Cole to handle whatever bullshit they felt was their business. I stood there growing impatient while the two of them dragged three strangely dressed women away from a beautiful vehicle any man would appreciate owning, even if they were like me and didn’t give a shit about sports cars.

I called out when I was ready to move the fuck on and find out where Syd was, which in hindsight was pretty damn ironic. All heads turned in my direction but I focused on one, not only because of the weird as hell getup she was wearing, but also because she had a body I knew would look damn good in anything, including the weird as hell getup she was wearing, had eyes that practically swallowed me up they were so wide and wondering, and red hair I immediately pictured belonging to someone else.

I continued picturing this until my girl leveled me with information I was half wishing I never knew.

My life would be a lot fucking easier, that was for damn sure.

But I knew it now, and there was no giving it back.